REMORSEFULLY

Rafa Kangen Papa's

The sun is shining and welcoming a beautiful morning. I opened the blanket that covered the body and rushed to welcome the morning so bright.Before leaving the contest, I looked at my husband who was still asleep in his sleep.

"Thanks, honey, I've been the best husband to me."I said as I stroked her face which began to be a bit brittle.

"Thanks too, dear, for wanting to be a wife and conceive my son" she said without opening her eyes.

"God ... When did you wake up?" I said I was embarrassed.

"Since you've been watching this handsome face of mine," he said, opening his eyes.

"Yes.ellah. Like a girl who just got shot." he said laughing.

He pulled my body into his arms.

"You know what, honey?I like your shy expression the most.

She felt my stomach slightly bulging, when she was only three months old.

" My biggest dream is to have you and have a lot of children from you, if we need to make it clear" he said chuckling.

I was shocked to hear his statement.

"Am I a child-printing machine?" ketus.

"I want our house crowded, honey,"

"But not that much either, is it??"

"Eleven is not much, there is already Rafa, so we stay for ten" he said teasing me.

"Make it easy!! But you don't think giving birth hurts, do you?" my spoken.

"What a pain?" tanyanya seriously.

"Yes .. pain-lah, there is no more pain than childbirth. That's what I think."

"If it hurts?"Said chuckling.

"That's another story, it's not bloody but the pain is still here" I said mimicking dangdut singer Cita Citata.

"But .. You know what, honey? After the child was born the feeling of being plong especially if you have seen the baby.It was really painful it did not feel anymore." I said at length while remembering the memory of giving birth to Rafa.

"That's ..ya?"

"Eat him don't just know for him, "I said as I stroked his cheek.

"His baby can be taken?" said staring.

"That was last night!!"

"You've been fishing."

"I want to, too, honey. But I'm afraid the baby's why."I put on a worried face.

When talking about the fetus in my stomach, he must have relented.I am also afraid that the frequent intercourse in the first trimester will happen something that is not desired in my womb.

"It's a very fast On!"I said with my eyes fixed on his junior who was ready to attack.

On the other hand I want to look up at his expression at this time, but on the other hand I also really feel sorry to see him tortured to resist the desire that has been to the crown.

Until I satisfied her in my way without worrying about my fetus. She enjoyed what I did to her. Until he reached the peak of his enjoyment.

"Thank you, honey, you're great, I love you" he said.

After I cleaned myself and Rayhan with his morning sickness drama, as usual I just relaxed at home while my husband left for the cafe.

"I'm leaving first, huh, honey?? you rest at home, don't be tired."

"Rafa ... Take care of your mama??" The message was to Rafa.

"ok ...Papa Ray." answered Rafa.

After Rayhan's departure to the cafe, Rafa and I went to the back garden to see the flowers that flourished there. God's scenario is very beautiful to meet someone with his soul mate. Like me and Rayhan because of the flower plants I posted on the sosmed, our friendship was able to intertwine and eventually step into the marriage ladder.

I was sitting in the gazebo with Rafa playing the cars.

Without wind without rain Rafa asked his father, Mas Rasya.

"Ma ... Rafa kangen papa," he said sadly.

"Papa Ray's just leaving, honey?"

My words diverted when I knew what he meant was his biological father.

Indeed, since our meeting on my wedding day, Mas Rasya never contacted me again, even though just asking Rafa news.He seemed to disappear like he was swallowed by the earth. All I know from Fira is that she's mutated into Borneo. It was natural that Rafa misses him because they are very close, even though we are divorced but they often meet and spend time together.

Even though Rayhan could be a father figure to him, but the inner bond between the child and the biological father must be there. That longing will be there for both.

I called my son to sit on my lap, stroking his hair. Guilt arose in my heart, for I was so absorbed in my newlyweds and pregnancy that I forgot my son who missed his biological father. My eyes seemed closed because they saw the familiarity of Rafa and Rayhan as children and fathers, it was unthinkable for me if my son missed the figure of his biological father.

Really ... It is the child who will be the victim of the divorce of his parents.

"I'm sorry, son." My inner.

"Rafa kangen, Papa?" I stared at him.

He just nodded slowly.

"Rafa wants to play with papa, Ma" he said with teary eyes.

"When will Rafa meet papa, huh? Papa's working now, making a lot of money for Rafa. Later if papa comes home, Rafa bought a toy.pa aja Rafa likes." I tried to persuade him.

His eyes immediately sparkled, so the children just by promising things in his tribe he could smile back.

After Rafa returned to play, I picked up the phone lying next to me, I tried to open WhatsApp contact Mas Rasya intended to send a message about Rafa, but I saw his number active about two months ago.

"Did he change the number?" my question is in my heart.

I tried to call through a phone call, just the sweet voice of the operator who answered.

While Rafa was already enjoying watching his favorite cartoons, I was still thinking about what he said in the park.

Until my phone rang, I saw Rayhan calling. He told me to get ready because he was already on his way to pick me up to the obstetrician.

When he got to the front of the house I immediately said goodbye to Rafa and Bi Rahmi and rushed up to the car.

The car is traveling at medium speed. Rayhan asked me to talk, I answered soberly.

"Why, Honey?" he said while holding the tip of my head for a while then holding the steering wheel back.

"Rafa misses his father." I said honestly.

We agreed to be open to each other no matter what.

"Rasya never called you or Rafa?" tanyanya.

I shook my head slowly.

"Have you called?" ask again.

"Number is not active"

"Let's find the number, don't be a burden, you're pregnant."Rigorously.

"But I feel sorry for Rafa" I said.

"I promise I'll find the number, you calm down."

" Thank you, honey." I said with a smile.

"Yes .. that's dong ... Bumilku, Darling!! Smiles...." His words showed his big smile.