REMORSEFULLY

Rayhan's Heart

Rayhan" POV

After fulfilling her obligations as a wife she was immediately lulled in her beautiful dreams. Maybe because he was exhausted from serving me. I looked at the face of that ayu who was lying peacefully beside me. A sense of happiness, pleasure, serenity staring at his shady face. What a perfect woman.

I pulled out the hair that covered her face.

"You are my soul mate, my most beautiful gift, I want to have you in my world and hereafter, if I were to be born again I would want only you to be with me." Gumanku's.

I am so thankful to have him lucky. She is the best woman, perfect for me. While her ex-husband is the most stupid and losers man in the world for wasting a woman as good as him. But I'm so grateful to her ex-husband for that stupidity that I can have my wife now.

My wife's treatment before and when I was paralyzed has not changed. Even more attention. Not for a second did I hear or see him complaining about my situation.

Sometimes I feel sad, sorry for him. Whenever I ask him to serve me, he is ready and obedient. Although maybe sometimes he feels tired, whereas my desire continues to want and want to do with him.

His body looks like opium to me. Although she was pregnant but it added to her sexiness in my eyes. I don't know why even though he just touched me I immediately felt passionate. I don't know if this is normal as a man or if I'm hyper. But since marrying her passion was the same until now.

Had I not been sick like this might not have been a burden to me because I would have done whatever style we liked. But now he has to work hard to satisfy me. Don't ask me what I feel when he does it with me really makes me very satisfied. Seeing his body above me really makes me enjoy it so much. His agile and aggressive body movements make me fly and satisfied as much as possible.If you can be honest, such a lovemaking style is what I like the most. I don't know about my wife.

If the accident had not happened, if I had not been to the cafe because usually if my son whines or cries I would have waited until he stopped whining and then I left. Or sometimes I take them with me to take Rafa to school and then back home. But maybe it was my destiny to experience this disaster.

I do not blame fate but I condemn the actions of those students who carelessly on the road make me have to have an accident.

Sometimes I feel like I'm a useless, meaningless, selfish man now. Demanding an inner living from my wife while I am paralyzed can do nothing even satisfy her. From the bed to the wheelchair, you have to help others. But when my wife said she was satisfied with me. I looked into his eyes to see if there were any lies there but only the honesty I saw in his eyes. I feel relieved because she enjoyed it.

My eyes could not be closed, my heart was in a state of turmoil, my mind was floating everywhere. If only something had not happened. I want to be like other fathers playing with my kids, playing ball, carrying it, putting it on my back. Am I going to get that chance?Are my children not ashamed of my situation when they grow up?

In my prayer I ask for His healing. I know God loves me by giving me this trial. I have asked God for much and He is All-Givering.I am sincere if for example I am paralyzed for the rest of my life. God's most beautiful plan for me.

No tears escaped in the corner of the eye. The whiny? The bayes? Yeah, that's me now. All this time I tried hard not to show my slump to my wife and extended family. I don't want them to worry about me. I wanted to look strong in their eyes but in my heart this incident really made me slumped, scared, fragile. The more my wife indulges me, the more I think, the more boundless love I pour into my chest. I'm afraid it will go away as time goes on. Because he's also an ordinary human who has a saturation point to take care of a disabled man like me.

My chest felt tight from holding back the crying. I shut my mouth so I wouldn't hear my wife. Until I saw him wriggling and tightening his arms at me.

I stared at the ceiling of the room with a cry as if to explode.

I took a deep breath and threw it away slowly to calm myself down.

"Oh, you haven't slept yet." He looked at me.

I was shocked to hear his voice, I immediately turned and wiped away the tears that were on my cheeks. But it was too late that he had seen it.

He woke up and looked at me in wonder.

"You crying?" Ask.

I could no longer endure the turmoil in my chest, so tight, I hugged him tightly and shed my tears.

He was more and more astonished with me.

He tried to break my arms but I got more hugs and sobbed. It's not like I'm like a crying child that my mother needs.

I felt her delicate hands rubbing my head, caressing and kissing the shoots of my head.

After spilling all the tightness on my chest I let go of my embrace to her.

"What's wrong with you, honey?" Soft talk.

I can only shake still unable to make a sound.

He took my hand and kissed her.

"You love me, don't you?"

"Do you believe me?"

"I'm valuable to you?"

Every question I answer with just a nod of my head.

"What do I mean in your life?" Ask wife.

"You're everything to me, my soul mate, you're the second woman I love the most after my Mama." Sickly say.

"If I'm everything, your soulmate, why do you keep your burdens to yourself?"

"I don't want to just be your wife, I want to be your best friend, your friend where you pour out all your heart's contents both your likes and sorrows." Soft talk.

I clasped his hand and put it on my chest.

"Please promise me you won't leave me even if I'm paralyzed for life."I looked at him.

He returned my gaze with a look I could hardly understand.

I express everything that is stuck in my heart, all the fear, the worry that is on my mind.

"You doubt me? you've been suspicious of my love all this time?"

"It's not so, honey. I'm just afraid you're gonna leave me." I'm lirih.

"God...Do I have to say it again? I love you not because of your body but because of your heart, I love you because of God.

Even if you are paralyzed for life even if you are blind, or whatever I will be a light to you, will continue to be by your side.. Except...." Hanging words.

"Except what???"My toot.

"You betrayed me, I made sure I'd leave you." Said firmly.

I hugged him tightly.

"That's impossible and I'll never do." Say sure.

"Either throw away your silly thoughts, you'll be cured! I'm sure it is." His words encouraged me.

"Wear cry all over again!!..A man is a big cry." My wife chuckled.

"Who said I cry." My sangkal.

"Yes, you don't cry just your tears come out." He mocked me.

"That's the influence of hormones, honey? Say origin.

"Ngeles...I'm pregnant not you."

I just scratch my head that does not itch, indeed the wife is always right, and the husband is always wrong.

He took me to bed and he laid his body beside me.

I still gently stroked her hair.

"Ayo tidur, jangan nangis lagi!" Ucap istriku tersenyum mengejekku.

"Yes.iya..."

"Why then?I didn't vidio-in you earlier that time cry." Saying wife.

"Don't fuck around, let's go to bed at 12pm." Quickly said.

I'm afraid he's craving weird shit again.

I pretended to be asleep and snored occasionally so he could believe that I was asleep.

"Sleep or push-ups, honey?" he said he was luring me.

"Push Up ." My answer.

"Maha."

He laughed at my answer.

Finally the feeling of worry, fear, and sleepiness instantly disappeared replaced with a jokey laugh in the room. We talked a lot whether the topic was clear to make us laugh at each other sometimes. Until we fell asleep in a beautiful dream.

...*****...

*Rayhan in this episode is whiny, lebay.😀😀

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