REMORSEFULLY

Talak for Lestari

Lestari"'s POV

I realized Mas Rasya's love for Mba Fani was huge, I tried to budge and bury in my love for her. But the more I want to forget it the stronger the sense of it reigning in my heart.

Even when I found out that I contained the seed of Mas Rasya, I tried not to tell him, until in time it was Mba Fani who knew it. My heart was broken, disappointed when Mas Rasya did not care about me and happily he hugged Mba Fani in front of my eyes because he thought Mba Fani was pregnant.

After her divorce from Mba Fani and marrying me, I thought that was a good start in my life. But in reality Mas Rasya could not escape the shadow of Mba Fani. I was married just as a form of responsibility because I was pregnant with her child.

While the other pregnant woman was spoiling with her husband, ask for this, while I can only be alone without a husband accompanying me.

Mas Rasya is busy with Rafa and chasing back his ex-wife.

I hate Mba Fani, I hate Rafa, because they are Mas Rasya I cannot fully own. Had Mba Fani really closed the road for Mas Rasya to return, he would not have made Rafa the reason. Maybe Mas Rasya will be entirely mine.

Although I knew Rafa was Mas Rasya's son but at least he gave me a little time because I was also pregnant with his son, his flesh and blood.

My hatred for Mba Fani became even more when I had to lose my son because of a fall.

Even though it's my fault, Mba Fani was involved in the death of the fetus in my womb..

That day was the third day Mas Rasya did not return home because usually the weekend he would spend time with Rafa, even though I had said that I was not feeling well anymore, but Mas Rasya still left me on the grounds that he would accompany Rafa because Mba Fani had a sudden affair.

Being hungry I forced myself to get up, but unfortunately just a few steps my head felt dizzy until I fell and my stomach hit the corner of the table. I felt a fluid flowing down my thigh. And how surprised I was when I saw that came out it was blood.

With the rest of my energy and unbearable pain I tried to contact Mas Rasya. And finally he came and took me to the hospital. But dear thousand dear I have to lose a fetus in my womb.

Not that Mas Rasya feels guilty for losing a child in my womb, instead he blames me for not being able to keep the child in my womb. She's getting more and more out of her indifference to me. What a selfish man, unaware of his mistake .

The more days, Mas Rasya seemed to be getting further for me to reach, I seemed to be considered non-existent.

Especially after the viral viidio of my quarrel with Mba Fani circulated in the medsos Mas Rasya was very angry with me. He said I embarrassed him. My intention to make Mba Fani stay away from Mas Rasya was precisely my actions that made Mas Rasya stay away from me. His days are busy with work while on holidays he is busy with Rafa.

He only came to me if he wanted to fulfill his wish, and sometimes when I served him until he reached the peak of nirvana he often mentioned the name of his ex-wife. That means he imagines Fani making love with him. I'm really sick of this kind of situation.

I was getting bored, bored, until one day my ex-boyfriend called me, and we met. Until finally we started to get close again, even though he knew my status but he did not mind it. We often spend time together. With him I felt considered, spoiled and noticed what I did not get from my husband Mas Rasya.

Every Saturday I always invite him to spend the night at home, we do what should not be done, Mas Rasya also does not exist. Rasya won't know, I thought.

Hopefully we keep the carcass will eventually smell too. That's what happened that morning . After Deni and I spent our long night, reaching nirvana together, which I don't know how many times we've done, we fell asleep wading through a beautiful dream while hugging in the same blanket. Suddenly something hit my body. When Deni and I woke up, I was shocked again when Mas Rasya was standing there in a very angry way.

Mas Rasya pulled Deni's hand and beat him all out, I was afraid he would kill him and Mas Rasya went to prison, more importantly I did not want to lose Deni twice.

I tried to break it but whatever my day, Mas Rasya's energy was like a starving lion, beating Deni mercilessly.

Fortunately Deni was able to escape even though his face was battered.

After Deni managed to escape, we had a big fight. Just this time I saw the other side of Mas Rasya, he looked really scary. Forgiving, insults, and slaps he aimed at me. Though if you think, what a difference I'm the same as him, the same cheating. Totally selfish.

With a furious rage he dropped the talaq on me. Then kicked me.

I did not ask him to forgive me, because I realized Mas Rasya would not accept me back.

Why do I keep it with him if Mas Rasya never loved me one bit. It just tormented me.

I sat down on the chair on the porch, weeping as I mourned my fate. Why is this my life, When I loved Deni but she betrayed me, now she comes when I am Mas Rasya's wife. I would not have done this affair had Mas Rasya treated me like a wife. When Mas Rasya came and he filled my empty heart, the second time I swallowed a bitter pill, he only considered me a mistake.

And now he's dropping talaq on me, which means I'm free of him. But in my heart I felt pain when the word came out of Mas Rasya's lips.

I took one of the clothes lying on the porch and put it on. Then take the rest back and put it in a bag while stepping away from the house that I have been living in for six months with Mas Rasya.

I walked down the lonely streets carrying my clothes bag, The rain that soaked my body I don't care. After a long walk I finally got a taxi. My goal is to go to Deni's house. Besides there is no purpose, I also worry about Deni's situation. I'm afraid anything will happen to him.

...*******...