REMORSEFULLY

End - The End Ask for Referral

I stood on the balcony of the room staring at the night sky that had swallowed the beautiful twilight. But he did not forget to replace it with moonlight that is no less beautiful.

I stared at the ring Rayhan gave me a week ago. The ring is beautifully wrapped around my ring finger. I don't know why since I gave it to me, I used to wear it a lot but then took it off and put it back in the box.

Ever since Rayhan said his feelings last Sunday, he's been calling me less, even though he's been calling just asking me and Rafa. Never once did he ask me what my answer was with his expression of feeling for me.

I miss her jokes and jokes when she calls me.

Sometimes I wonder if the expression of his feelings is just a joke, or if he gives me time until I can make the best decision.

I heard my gauntlet ringing in the room, I immediately moved to lift it. From a deep corner of my heart I wish Rayhan had contacted me. But my hope is not in accordance with the wishes of my heart. It turned out to be Mas Rasya, my ex-husband.

It felt like there was a tinge of disappointment in my heart, why not the name "Beetle" on my screen.

With a feeling of disappointment I lifted him up too.

After saying hello and I returned it. Mas Rasya just said that he would take Rasya home a little late.

I sat on the bed playing with my gawa. I open the sosmed and open the sosmed Rayhan homepage, there are no recent posts he posted. I switched to his WhatsApp contacts. I intended to ask her how she was, but I thought again that I think the prestige also started to contact her.

To get rid of saturation I read an online novel that some days I do not open. There must have been a recent episode uploaded by the author of the title of the novel that made me curious about the story.

Because of the fun of reading novels online, I did not realize that Mas Rasya had come to deliver Rafa.

I went out to see Rafa after Bi Rahmi called me and it turned out that Rafa had fallen asleep in Mas Rasha's arms. I hurriedly opened Mas Rasya to Rafa's room.

Mas Rasya laid his son on the bed and then I put a blanket on him.

Mas Rasya then looked at me feeling guilty.

"Sorry Fan, Rafa came home late."

"It's all right" I replied.

"Fan, can we talk to you for a second?"

"We'd better get out Mas, afraid Rafa's up'.

I said reasoned, but actually my heart was not good to talk in room 'cause we were no longer a halal couple who could talk and be together anywhere. Just because Rafalah I was welcome to Mas Rasya. Because I promised in my heart, even if we got divorced, but Rafa won't lose the affection of her two parents, until the time when Rafa is old enough to accept the situation we have separated.

I hurried to leave Mas Rasya from the room and headed towards the living room.

I sat on one of the couches and Mas Rasya sat not far from me. I tried to shift a little because I felt Mas Rasya sitting too close to me.

From earlier my feelings were not good with what Mas Rasya would talk about. I can guess for sure the edges later he will ask for a reference again. I guessed it because he asked for it so many times. Truly stubborn Mas Rasya will not give up easily before his wish is achieved.

"I've already dropped the talaq on Lestari," said Mas Rasya starting to confide in me.

"Hah...kok can Mas" I said astonished.

"The story is long Fan,"

"Mas should learn from the failure of our household, why the hell should divorce again, you can talk with a cool head,"

I said sok. And in my heart says what it has to do with me even if I'm divorced why should I also report to me.

"Mas had better think clearly before dropping the talaq on him" I said again

" But I don't take it." said Mas Rasya slowly

" Is that Lestari Mas' fault?" manya curious.

Mas Rasya just nodded slowly, I saw a look of sadness on his face.

"If you can still fix the relationship, you better forgive him,'

"I can't, I won't go back to him . He insulted me by sleeping with his mistress in my own house.' Mas Rasya Emotion.

I closed my mouth so surprised.

I was privileged in my heart, indeed Allah is All-Seeing, I used to witness Mas Rasya cheating in front of my eyes and now the situation is reversed and Mas Rasya witnessed his own wife cheating in front of him.

True, the wise do not need to repay the heartache that others give us, just be patient and sincere because God does not sleep. If we are lucky we will see the person feel the pain that we have ever felt can even exceed our pain first.

I fell silent in daydreams until Mas Rasya later said his regrets had betrayed me.

"Now that I feel what you used to feel Fan, maybe your pain is a thousand times what I feel right now," he said regretfully.

" I've received karma for betraying you" he said, occasionally removing the clear liquid in the corner of the eye that had not been dripping.

I want to say to Mas Rasya,

" How does it feel to be betrayed by Mas?, aching???"

But it was only in my heart, instead of not daring to say it but it was useless as well, everything had happened. Revenge instead of solving problems will actually make us not calm and destroy ourselves.

"Fan, can we start all over again,?'

"Give me a chance just this once,"

"If in your heart there is no longer my name there, at least it is for the sake of our son, Rafa," he said.

Hmmmmm..I said, at the end of the day, ask for a return, I said in my heart.

"I beg Fan, give me a chance to atone for my sins and mistakes with you" he said.

" Well, if you want to redeem sin do not be with me, please forgive God," I said .

"I'm seriously Fan" said Mas Rasya again.

"I promise, I won't waste you anymore, I will be faithful" he pleaded.

I don't know why my heart is now untouched in the slightest by his request this time, when he took out his power to make me baper, I will be washed away. But now it seems like the feeling has gone somewhere, the door of my heart has been locked even locked for him.

I tried to string the words together so that he could accept that the broken glass was difficult to repair again as well as my heart that had been broken into pieces would not be able to be re-created.

"Sorry Mas, I can't, about Rafa you can meet him at any time, so it's not your schedule with him" I said calmly.

I said that while squeezing into my two hands. I saw Mas Rasya's netra fixed on the ring that was coiled on my ring finger.