LOVE SLAVE
#158
It's been a week since my father left me and my mother for good. I was hoping it was all just my nightmare. But. . Maybe this is part of the scenario God wrote for me. Seeing my father stiffened for the last time to his final resting place, my heart was like that of a hot iron stoning. I don't want to let his body be buried in a mound of dirt.
I, as an only child, have to stay strong and strong to live my next life keeping my mother always by my side even though I was born as a woman does not mean I will weaken.
" Mother, let's eat first. This week the mother only a few times to taste the food which is fairly very little.it must also be forced. Come mama. . . later mama more sick ". I pleaded with my mother, persuading her to want me to feed her.
" Daughter, why didn't God call you to accompany your father by his side. How could your father have been there alone without his mother. .. . . . how is it??? "
Back mother sobbed sobbing so hysterically, I hugged her with tears. I can't help but watch my mother now God. . . How after this will I go through all this with him. . . am I capable???
In the midst of my bitter cries hugging mom, Kevin suddenly entered the room where me and mom were. Slowly she sat before us, I did not dare to look her in the face. I know maybe she was a little disappointed because I again and again postponed our marriage process.
Yeah, it's not fair. But how could I have done the wedding with Kevin, and my heart and mind were devastated by the death of my father in the accident, and my mother. . . he would only speak when I was by his side. Every second my mother always cried without stopping, her body that was originally filled and looked healthy now like. . ah, I can no longer reveal my mother's current condition.
" Fanny, have you eaten??? " Task her gently.
" I'm not hungry yet. I just want you to eat a lot and get back to normal as usual "
" Fanny, you'll be sick. How aunty will be healthy again if you just do, eat first yes a little. I'll get it ". Say it while standing up to leave the room again.
My lyrics mother had fallen asleep back in my arms. I slowly put her to bed and caught up with Kevin I quickly pulled his hand to stop and turned my head for a moment.
" Kevin. . I'm still very full "My answer again reassured him.
He smiled touching my right cheek.
" Fanny, come with me to live abroad. We got married there and started a new life, so that you and your mother would no longer feel the pain of all the bitter memories here. And I'm sure once your mother doesn't live here she'll be back to health and normal living after we've been living in a new atmosphere ". Said Kevin suddenly to me.
For some reason, his words this time caused disappointment in my heart. Does he think that's that easy???
" Vin. . Do you still love me??? "
" absolutely. I still love you so much and will always love you "he said firmly.
" Then understand and understand my current position, and. . I'm sorry if we have to cancel everything because all I think about now is. I want him to stay strong to face this with me "
Kevin was silent with a face full of disappointment. I know she's willing to help and give a new life to me and my mom, but. . . I really don't think about how my relationship and Kevin will continue after this. What's more, ever since my dad died, his mama's been getting away from me. Never once was there on my side to strengthen me, only one iqbal. Papa Kevin, who always quietly approached me occasionally gave me support and supportive advice.
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And ever since then, Kevin has rarely seen me. I don't know why.
You know. . Since my father died, I decided to stop teaching. Whyyy??? Besides I can't focus on teaching and educating my students and students in school, I can't leave my mother alone either. Even my lecture. . . I believe, failure will hit me because I can no longer follow the activities at the end to my graduation as the scholar I dreamed of.
The days changed I felt the more time I went through the harder. It all feels heartbreaking, not to mention the gossip of the neighbors who think maybe I am not destined to get a mate. Because it has twice always failed in marriage plans. . . Sometimes I laugh at myself. Life is so complicated and dramatic.
I just go through my days being inside the house. Sometimes Rendy's brother and his wife come to visit and comfort me and mother, sometimes even mother papa brother Rendy also come to accompany us until late at night.
Slowly mother has begun to be invited to talk occasionally even though every time she is more confined and crying nonstop. Sometimes the mother also turns into sensitive, angry, easy to rampage and scream with sobs. I who sometimes just accompany him alone is not surprising anymore even though several times my mother has been rude to me.
" Fanny" I woke up from my daydream when I heard someone calling me.
" Kevin. . . "
" I'm sorry, just got to see you today. Me. . Can we talk for a minute??? "
" Fanny, I. . will be back abroad with my parents tomorrow ".
Degh !!!
Will he come back to stay there forever??? what about our relationship???
" Aa. .Is there. . .something important you should do abroad??? " Tell me with trembling lips.
She looked at me with teary eyes, and slowly lowered her face by shaking her head. I saw that this attitude scared me even more.
" I ended my contract in Indonesia which is only two months away, but I decided it first. And. . . I, will give you time to think and calm your heart for a moment. Sorry if I was impressed to force you into our relationship "
" Vin, does this mean that you've severed our relationship??? " Ask me with a firm tone. And slowly Kevin touched my hand, grasping it tightly.
" Fanny. . I'm just giving you time to think more calmly, I know you're gonna need time alone with your mom. We're just going to break for a moment, try to find the best way for all of this. Even if God will keep our love united in a marriage bond, you and I will surely return to the facility and be found quickly at the right time "
Hearing this made my tears drip by itself, I threw the grip of his hand from me.
" I know you just don't want to make me blame myself any more, I know this is just your gentle way to break this relationship right??? You lie, you deny, you forget your promise Vin. You said you'll always be by my side you said you understand my heart and position right now, but why??? why are you leaving me??? whyaa??? "
My cry broke to make Kevin immediately hold my body very tightly. He cried with his sobbing without a word that he spewed again from his lips.
" I'm sorry Fanny, I didn't mean to leave you. But I also want all normal twins, I don't want to selfishly force my will to invite you to continue with everything we've planned in the marriage "
" Go away . Go Kevin. Go away, whatever the reason is I don't want to hear it anymore "
" Fanny, let me hold you for a bit. Please let me hold you for a minute ". Said Kevin by further tightening his embrace on me, I kept struggling trying to let go of his embrace.
" Vin, I beg. . "my words softly made Kevin slowly take off his embrace. I know, from a long time ago he will easily weaken when I no longer give a fight. He knew the limit of my anger had reached the highest level.
" Never hate me, I still love you Fanny. It's okay if I have to go back to waiting for the time and opportunity where we will be reunited in a new life later. I hope you'll still be the Fanny I know and love, whenever we'll be rediscovered later though maybe not with the same feelings, I beg you to welcome my smile and my hand ".
" You know Vin, it hurts my heart to hear that from you and I'm sure it's deep down in your heart right now. You have given up on staying in our relationship all this time, do not force yourself to keep saying that you will always love and wait for me. Let us live our own lives, without forcing each other to wait and endure in hearts that are no longer possible together "
" Do you hate me, Fanny??? "
" No, not at all Kevin. But from the beginning I was sure that this was going to happen, you were too good for me Vin. You deserve a woman far better than me, and thank you for all the sincerity of your love so far, your wait for me was futile but I'm happy to have been a part of your love life Vin. Be happy always, don't remember me anymore "
" I won't regret any of this, Fanny, after everything we've been through, I'm happy to be a part of your life, thank you for being willing to give me space in your heart. I still hope that one day God will bring us back together, I hope never to cut off communication with me Fanny you should keep giving me the news you should keep making me the first person when you need a friend to complain and complain ".
Kevin just kept begging and repeating his words with the same word. With tears soaking down her cheeks, I just smiled in response.
" Go Kevin "Say me then with a bow.
Then he passed away the longer it got lost from my sight that was quietly staring at his back from behind. Not one bit he looked at me. I know, maybe right now he feels the same way as me. Crying grimly endured the tightness and pain of the end of our love story.
*Go my best man, until whenever you will remain the best and most sincere man I have ever known.I am proud to have been your woman, I will never regret that this love story should end in vain.
Be happy with your new life. Take away your ever sincere love you gave me, goodbye. . . Kevin*. . . !!!
T A M A T
