Trapped in the Love of the Past

Trapped in the Love of the Past

Eps. 95

In my mind, how will my fate go forward. My mother-in-law hates me so much. He even said that I was a bad-ass carrier. What my mother-in-law said has a point, too. Maybe I am a bad-ass lady. Because every single person I've been with has to be unlucky. Until he died and this happened for the second time

In the past Mas Rendy, he had an accident that made him forget his memory and his sister died. Jimmy, who was close to me and was getting married. He also died proposing to me on my birthday. Now Mas Rohman, the man who has become my husband has gone far and will not return.

If only time could be replayed. I definitely wouldn't take him on the street that night. If only I knew what would happen, I would prefer to stay home. Maybe Rohman is still with me.

There is no point in living in this world. Could it be that I have to put an end to all this so that there is no more burden of life that I have to go through. My mind is so ungodly. There is no more passion to live.

This throat feels very dry. I decided to go out of the room and go to the kitchen to get a drink. It looks so lonely this house. Maybe Rendy's out.

As I was about to open the refrigerator, I saw a knife lying on the table. I went and I took the knife. This knife is very sharp. I turned around and kept looking at this knife. I got something on my mind. I don't know what demon is possessing me right now.

I really want to end this life. So that I do not continue to bear the burden of my suffering all this time. There is no point in me living in this world anymore. Yeah, maybe I'd rather die.

As I was about to scratch this knife into my pulse, it turned out that Bu Rita and Mas Rendy saw it. They took the knife out of my hand. I, who was unaware of their arrival, looked surprised. My suicide attempt failed because of being discovered.

"Gosh, kid. Why did you do this so sinful thing. Conscious darling, sober!"

"Lis, why are you so desperate to do something like this?"

"Mom, there's no point in me living. Maybe I'd better just die. This suffering is so heavy, ma'am. I'm not bothering anymore."

"You're Istigfar, baby. You have to be patient."

"I'm a fucking lady, Mom. Just let me go. I'm afraid later the same mother Mas Rendy will get shit from me."

"It's all fate, baby. I never blamed you even if your mother's son died that day."

"It wasn't your fault. It's all God's will."

"Lis, plis don't do this. You have to be patient, keep you mentally safe."

"Do you know why I brought you here?"

"Because I'm afraid this is happening."

"Son, listen to me talk. You are a good woman and you are beautiful. You're not a fucking carrier. You must stay upbeat to live all this."

"You need rest and support, baby. You must be strong."

Various advice from Bu Rita and Mas Rendy I listen to. Yes, it is true what Ms. Rita said, maybe I need the support of people around. And I need a break, too. So that my brain does not have negative thoughts.

Again, these tears drip by themselves. Miss Rita hugged me tightly. She is neither my mother nor my mother-in-law. But his treatment really exceeded all that. He loves me with all his heart.

Ms. Rita came back to bring me into the room. He told me to rest. A caress made this heart calm a little. He treats me like his own son.

"Guild, son. If you need anything, just call Rendy or mom No need to hesitate, just consider this your home and we're your family."

"Have not spoken like that. Better close your eyes quickly. Later when it's time to eat, I'll wake up."

"Yes, Mom. Thank you very much."

A small smile adorned the very beautiful face of Bu Rita. Although his age is not young, but he still looks very fresh fit and also his skin is tight. I was so impressed with him.

These eyes are really tired. And finally I can close my eyes. Dissolved into a very beautiful dream. Where I met Mas Rohman with a very sweet face and a distinctive smile with dimples.

***********

I've been living in Mas Rendy's house for over a week. Long time no good also who just keep quiet here. Maybe I should just go to the village and start a new life there. Find work and get together with family. Yeah, maybe it's better.

When Bu Rita and Mas Rendy were sitting together, I intended to go over and talk about the things I had planned. Hopefully this by returning home my life journey will change for the better than before.

"Mother, Mas Rendy, there's something I want to talk about."

"What do you want to say, son? Sit here, come on." I sat next to Miss Rita. And I began to take a breath to vent to speak.

"Ehm, Mother, Mas Rendy, I want to thank you very much for your help. I don't know how to return the bud."

"I'm so happy to live here. But.., I want to go back to the village. Maybe starting a new life there would be much better."

"Ehm, I want to ask permission from my mother and Mas Rendy to go home."

"Sorry mom, I'm a lot of trouble."

"Wouldn't you just find a job here, son?"

"Maybe I can open a business for you."

"But I want to go home, Mom. I'd love to hang out with my family."

"If I were still here, I couldn't forget all the memories during my stay in this city. I don't want to continue to torment my inner being, ma'am."

"Do you have the heart to leave your mother here alone?"

A question that made me look up. If you think of what Miss Rita said as if she did not allow me to go home. I don't know what he's thinking. He's so bawdy. But it's impossible if I keep hitchhiking free here long ago.

"Mom, open up as I mean."

"I can visit my mom anytime if I want. I just want to live quietly, ma'am."

"I don't have anyone here. I'm far from family."

"You're our family, son."

"Mom.." I held onto Ms. Rita's hand. He looked at me with a meaningful look.