Trapped in the Love of the Past

Trapped in the Love of the Past

"Salma!"

Mas Kamal suddenly took his eyes off the menu book he was holding. Looking up at the origin of the sound. For a moment they looked at each other. Highlight their eyes like they were still harboring a sense of each other. Like Azzam's eyes when he looked at me. Does this mean they are still in love?

Suddenly my heart ached at the sight. But I should be able to behave accordingly. Pretending not to know about their past.

The woman walked over to us. It's true what Astri said. Salma is beautiful.

"So you want to order catering?"

Ask. I caught a slightly awkward tone shaking from him.

Mas Kamal looked at Salma.

"Yes Salma."

I swallowed spit. My heart was tight to hear Mas Kamal's reply which seemed indecisive.

"This is your catering?"

Ask Mas Kamal.

The woman nodded.

"Yes, this is my work with the deceased before I die."

I saw the woman's netra glazed over.

At a glance I saw Mas Kamal looking at him in the shade. Makes me jealous.

"Oh yeah, I know my future wife, Kalila."

The woman held out her hand towards me.

"Salma, man,"

"Calilla,"

We shake each other. My hands tremble. My chest's tight.

For a moment the mood became quiet.

We dissolve in each other's minds.

But I could see the two people were misbehaving.

"So what about the catering price?"

Ask me to break the silence created.

"Emm.un..tuk when are you Ma'am?"

Ask stuttered.

"Two months away."

I put the menu book on the table.

"What was that?"

I said a little jolt.

"Eh ..that's package A."

Just like Salma. Kamal is also a joke.

Both down. Dare not see each other.

"Yes Ma'am, we'll take package A. For 100 people."

My speech.

"Okay Ma'am, so five million in total. DP 20 percent."

Salma.

Mas Kamal took out a wallet and gave Salma some money.

Their hands are stretched out to each other. There was a vibration that I could clearly see.

Salma biting lips.

"Thank you Kamal."

Word vibrates.

A moment later we left Salma's house.

"Who is Salma?"

I asked in the car.

"Old victory."

He answered while swallowing the saliva.

"Looks like a close friend."

I'm fishing.

The man looked at me for a moment. Then set the view forward.

I'm silent. Didn't ask again.

I know, that guy's mind must be very upset.

After a long time without seeing Salma, he now has to deal again with his first love who has become a widow.

"By the way, did Kamal try on the bridal suit?"

The man shook his head.

I sighed softly.

O Allah, is the presence of Salma a guidance that you have given me.

That Mas Kamal is not the best mate for me.

***

"Mom, if Salma is not married to Mas Kamal how?"

Mother who was chopping vegetables in the kitchen stopped her activities.

He's staring.

"Why are you talking like that Nduk?"

"Kalila doubts Mom."

I breathed deeply.

"Lha why? It's called temptation before marriage, it usually is. There is always doubt, distraction. We return our marriage to worship. Is God willing the doubt is gone Nduk?"

"Mas Kamal met the ex-girlfriend he loved so much Mom"

"Keep why you met. Kamal khan didn't cheat on you?"

I'm shaking.

"Yes, ask God to be guided and determined."

He said, holding my hand tightly.

***

Since meeting with Salma. I saw there was a slight change in Mas Kamal's attitude. The man became more reserved, his passion for marriage was no longer the same as before. That's what made me feel like I was planning this wedding.

I honestly have felt the , the joy of being reunited with the first love whose name is always pronounced in prayer. I even secretly guaranteed the prayer of an old father on the plane when he prayed for me to mate again with Azzam. Even though I knew at the time, the man was married.

And when he saw Azzam, honestly this heart is still decorated with pink.

As the saying goes, first love never dies. There is always room for first love in the corner of the heart. The owner of the heart, willing to lock the taste or let it stay springy.

The first love I felt for Azzam, maybe that was how Mas Kamal loved Kalila. It could be deeper than my relationship with Azzam.

I was almost married to Azzam. So too with Kamal. The man was only one step away from marrying his first love. But fate is not in their love. Same story with me and Azzam.

I know what it's like to wait for someone, how to pray so that God can unite me with Azzam my first love. How will this breaststroke be when it is merunajat, that Allah may send himself back to this self.

I fully understand, maybe that's how Mas Kamal felt too. And right now, the opportunity to have Salma is wide open. But again, there is an aral in the way. The man was now faced with the fact that soon he would marry another woman, myself.

I really love Mas Kamal. That's why I accepted his proposal. However, I am convinced that Salma's love for him is greater than my love.

Should I step back and let their love unite?

However, if I cancel this marriage, what about my parents' feelings. How to rinse the tears haru already spilled when he knew his son was proposed by a young man. Thousands of days passed with dignity to Allah, asking the Khalik to hasten the soul mate of his son. And now the soul mate is coming. I had to exchange the happiness they felt for my ego as a woman. The ego to be loved as sincerely, without the shadow of another woman.

***

The time showed at 13:00 when I walked over Salma's courtyard. Today I intend to see him. Solve all the heart problems that bother me. Seeking certainty that Salma had forgotten Mas Kamal, to convince my heart.

Knock on the door three times.

"Assalamualaik."

I said greetings.

"Getishalight."

The voice of the female voice was heard answering my greeting.

Salma Voice.

"Bak Kalila yes, Kamal's future wife."

I'm nodding.

"Come please come in, can I help you again? Or is there a menu change?"

Salma friendly.

"Monggo sit down first."

I immediately stepped towards the ash-colored sofa in the living room.

"So how's Ma'am?"

Ask again.

I breathe out slowly. Gather the courage to talk to this woman.

"I'm sorry if I was rude."

I'm stuck.

At first I saw a confused look at the beautiful woman.

"What's wrong, Mother?"

"What-is Sister Salma still in love with Mas Kamal?"

I asked while looking at his face.

Salma's face changed upon hearing my question. The woman swallowed the saliva. Turned his face away from my eyes. He didn't think I'd ask him this.