Trapped in the Love of the Past

Trapped in the Love of the Past

Eps. 92

There was no answer from my mother. Mother even cried sobbing. I feel so bad. But I kept urging you to tell me what really happened.

"Mother, what's wrong?"

"Where is the baby in my stomach?"

"Where is Ms Rohman, ma'am? Why is he accompanying me when I'm like this, ma'am?"

"Sir, you calm down. You have to accept all this."

"Say, mom! What's up?"

"Your husband passed away a week ago. You had an accident that night. And you've been in a coma for a week."

"You miscarried too, son."

"Astag."

My breath feels so tight. I can't hear everything Mom says. This is highly unlikely. I can't believe all this. It must be just a dream.

"Mom, this is impossible. You must be lying, right?"

I closed my eyes and hoped it was all a dream. But it turns out that it's all reality. I hit myself. It hurts so much, it's real.

Setragis is my journey. Why do people I love always leave me forever. Life is so unfair. Why don't I just get taken.

I can no longer cry. These tears are so dry that they can no longer flow. I endlessly blame myself. If at that time I did not invite Mas Rohman to buy martabak. I am still with him living happily. I am the cause of all this. It's all my fault.

I shouted unclearly. Keep hitting myself. Until my mother panicked to see my current situation. A Doctor and a Nurse came in and then injected me with a drug. Until I can sleep peacefully.

*********

The day has changed. I'm still pensively sitting on the hospital bed. I mourn my life so much. I don't know when this trial will continue to come.

I am in the hospital room alone. Maybe my whole family's home or maybe my mother-in-law's home. I didn't think of that. All I have in mind right now is Mas Rohman.

I still remember the last smile before he left. As I hugged her body and at that very moment I felt unwilling to part with her. Is it possible it was a hunch that Mas Rohman would leave me for good.

Not only that, I also held my flat stomach. The baby in my womb also left me alone. Am I not allowed to be happy.

I squeeze my finger and these tears drip by themselves. My view without direction. I look like a crazy person. My mind was so messed up and shattered. I don't know my way of life anymore. No more shoulders to lean on. No more clothes to hold. Stay alone wrapped desolate, there is no place to pour again.

My eyes started to get a little blurry. The head is also dizzy. Probably because there is too much to think about. I hugged both of my knees. And I started crying sobbing. I didn't realize someone was beside me.

Someone patted my shoulder gently. I looked to the side. How surprised I was, Rere came to see me. He didn't come alone, there was Andry too. I am a little amused by the arrival of my friends who happened to have not met for a long time.

I let go of the miss by hugging Rere. Andry, too, hugged me. My sababat always comes at the right time. When I need a place to pour out everything.

"Sorry, I just got word that.."

Rete no longer continued, he said. I was crying all the more so. I only cry what I can do right now. Crying lamenting my bad luck.

"I've said, this is all fate. This has become God's will. I hope you have to iklas and patiently accept all of this."

"Pray your husband, so that he may rest there."

"Lis, I'm in for condolences. I'm the same Rere also just found out about this. So we both just got here."

I can no longer say a word. Rere is right, this is God's destiny. But I have not been able to accept this very bitter reality. The loss of a loved one in life is painful.

I have to be patient to do all this. I have to classify Mas Rohman and callin my son away for good. Although actually this heart is very sick.

The door opened, and someone came in. A middle-aged mother and a man walked over to me. I can see clearly who the two of them are. Yes, of course Miss Rita and Mas Rendy.

Miss Rita and Mas Rendy came up to me. With the arrival of Ms. Rita hugged me. He stroked my hair very gently.

"Sorry son, the new mother knows the calamity you are going through. So you're here now."

"You're patient, baby. I also offer my condolences for the passing of your husband and future children who are also grandchildren."

Miss Rita let go of her embrace. He wiped away my tears that fell on my cheek. He kept stroking my hair. Mas Rendy was just standing next to me. There was not a word between the two of us.

"Ehm, Lis then I'm the same as Rere saying go home first."

"Later we'll come back. You still have to take care of your health, yeah."

"If there's anything or need anything just call us."

"Yes, thank you." I said that word in a slow and hoarse tone. Because I cry a lot and I haven't eaten or drunk. Just an infusion of liquid I can survive.

My two best friends left the room where I was being treated. Now I live accompanied by Bu Rita and Mas Rendy. The mood suddenly became quiet. Maybe because I was confused where to start. Again I was also very awkward with Mas Rendy.

"Son, have you eaten?"

"I'm not hungry, ma'am."

"You can't be like this. Don't torture yourself like this."

"If you keep going like this, even long ago you will be sick."

"Come, you eat first. Here let the mother bribe you."

"Don't, ma'am, I can eat myself, really."

"No, son. You just sit back and lean."

"You were yesterday often advising mom to eat. And after you did what you asked, I'm finally healthy now, son"

"Now mom also wants you to eat so that your body stays fresh. You eat, son?"

"Come, son, just a little so that your stomach is not empty." I can only throw at me. I eat little by little.