Trapped in the Love of the Past

Trapped in the Love of the Past

Eps. 68

[Yes, mas. Sorry I just opened the message.]

Not long ago my message was already a blue contreng. It means that the message I sent has been read by Mas Rohman. The call came from Rohman. Immediately I press the green button to immediately pick up the call.

"Yes, hello mas."

"Darling, you don't why, right?"

"I don't why, my mom. I'm fine."

"Thank God, I have a little bit of a worry about you. The phone is also not picked up, the message is not answered. You're from anywhere, baby."

"Ehm, I just finished a few days ago hp I caz. So I can't hold the phone."

"Yes already, baby. Have you eaten yet?"

"This just wanted to eat. But the phone call so I pick up first. I'm afraid something's important."

"No dear, just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine, you don't have to worry."

"Yes, you eat first. Don't get tired, baby."

"Yes, don't forget lunch either."

"Yes, baby, definitely."

The phone connection was cut off unilaterally. I'm getting less and less understanding with Rohman. Why is everything with me he can feel it. His mind is very strong.

Given what happened this morning, do I have to tell Rohman. I know this is very sinful. But that's not my wish either. It just happened and I was unable to fight back.

I wanted to scream, hoping someone would help me. But it was all in vain because Rendy smothered my mouth so much that I couldn't talk.

I feel so guilty about Rohman. I wanted to tell her but was afraid she would get angry. On the other hand, I am afraid that there will be a fierce fight between Rohman mas and Rendy mas. But if I am self-serving, my mind is very unsettled. Always remember and the feeling becomes restless.

I feel like my life is full of burden. When I want to be happy with someone, there is something disturbing. Why is my mind this time so it leads to Rendy mas.

Remember when we were together. The laughter we had together. Rendy's family was also very nice to me. I think of me as his own son.

If only the accident had not happened. Maybe I'm with Rendy now. And I'm also very sure if the child in this womb is Rendy's son.

God, what's wrong with my mind. Why am I thinking about Rendy. I already have Rohman. He is my husband who wants to accept me for who I am.

I am stuck with the love of the past. This is impossible for me. Maybe if Jimmy's still around, my problem's getting harder. Maybe Jimmy will admit that this is his son. Because she fucked me that day, too.

Why is it so hard to remove the shadows of the past. The more I forget, the more clearly I remember. When I am happy with him. That thought really bothers me.

Because of that incident, I currently eat even if I do not taste. My head suddenly dizzy. I decided to take a short break while waiting for Rohman to come home.

*********

I woke up from my sleep. I noticed the wall clock turned out to be three in the afternoon. I also slept for a long time. Thank God my body is lightened and my head is no longer dizzy.

I got out of bed immediately. I rushed to the kitchen to get some water. The throat feels very dry.

[Liss, I love you. Can't you come back to me like that?] Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is Rendy's mas. It didn't take me long to reply to the message.

[Mas Rendy, I'm sorry. Please don't bother me anymore.]

[You know if I'm married.]

[Yes, I know very well that you are married.]

[But just so you know Liss, my love for you is huge. I still love you and I hope for you to this day. You are very different from other girls. That's why I was expecting you so much.]

[Oh, forget what has passed. We are just the past.]

[You're good-looking, well-established, a lot of money, and you have a position. Your life is very secure. Surely out there you will be very easy to get your adored woman.]

[Yes Liss, I know I have everything. But to get something like you is very difficult for me.]

[Here you go, don't talk about anything else that's been. I'm afraid that when I arrive I will have a taste for you again.]

[I don't want to get caught up in the love of our past, mas. Please please understand me.]

[Liss, please allow me to meet you. Just for a second, Liss. I miss you so much.]

[I'll think about it, Mom.]

[Alright, I understand. I'll wait for good news from you.]

No more messages from Rendy. I am getting less and less empowered by this feeling. I don't know why I arrived a little lethargic with Rendy's words.

I'm getting so tormented by the way things are right now that I don't know what to do. I can't possibly betray Rohman, my wonderful husband. And his family is also good to me.

But on the one hand this feeling began to melt in Rendy mas. Remember the words he sent through whatsap. I remember it more and more. Immediately I removed the message from Rohman's mas. Not to arouse suspicion in Rohman.

It's not hard at four in the afternoon. And soon Rohman will be home. I immediately cleaned myself up and after that made a snack for Rohman mas.

At five o'clock in the afternoon my work was done. Old sponge cake and warm tea are available at the table. For today indeed mas Rohman came home very late afternoon. Because he had an event to visit his office friends at the Hospital.

Not long ago Rohman came home. I immediately greeted her by kissing the back of her husband's hand and carrying her briefcase. He smiled at me and gave a big kiss to my lips.

Mr. Rohman sat in the living room, giving a rendering. He seems to be tired. I hurried to get some warm tea and some old sponge cake. I serve it in front of Rohman.

"Mas, drink it while it's warm."

"Yes, honey. Thanks, yeah."

"Yes, mas. You seem tired, ma'am."

"Is there a problem in the office?"

"No problem, baby. It's just that I feel tired. I don't know if there's something that's bothering me. But I don't know what that is."

'Deg.'

Suddenly I felt restless. I don't know why I'm so worried about hearing Rohman's words. I feel so bad for him. I don't want to be like this either. And also don't want this to happen.