Trapped in the Love of the Past

Trapped in the Love of the Past

Eps. 81

"Yes I'm sorry I accused you who are not, mas. I shouldn't talk like that to you."

"Honey, there's no need to talk anymore. You don't have to apologize either."

"I understand, maybe because my past belief in you is the same I'm reduced."

"But I really don't have to play in the back, baby. I already have you, I just want you. Don't want anything else."

I will not answer any more of Rohman's words. I just nodded my head and smiled at him. There is also a point with what Mas Rohman said. I still doubt his validity. Maybe because I know his past. That's why I doubt him a little.

There's nothing more we're talking about. I finally decided to go back and walk around Malioboro. Although the night is getting late, but the surrounding conditions are still crowded with visitors. Very crowded in this place.

After being satisfied along the Malioboro road, I finally invited Mas Rohman to return to the Hotel. Larena I've been feeling a little tired from walking. I was afraid that my stomach would suddenly cramp again because of soy sauce. As it was yesterday. It hurts so much.

Before returning to the hotel, I asked to buy chicken satay. I want to eat chicken satay. Maybe this is what is called cravings during pregnancy.

We stopped by a satay street vendor. Rohman ordered two servings of chicken satay. After waiting a few minutes because of the queue, finally satay we ordered has been presented. I rushed to eat it because my stomach was also very hungry.

I devoured the satay that Mas Rohman ordered earlier. It also tastes good for a five-foot seller. After that we returned to the hotel which is located not far from Malioboro.

It was quite exhausting that trip . But I am quite happy even though only invited to walk to Malioboro only. Besides a good view, I can also meet the people I idolize on youtube. Yes, he is Faqih. A Malioboro angklung player from Temanggung.

At first glance people are very simple and what they are. I don't know why I admire him so much. Remember when we used to call each other vidiocall. His smile was always in the shadows. It's so sweet.

God, why do I keep thinking about Faqih. Oh God, forgive me. I don't mean anything. Just a little amazed. She is much younger than me. It's not my taste that likes people. I just admire it, nothing more.

Rohman had thrown himself into the bed. I realized he was tired. Because he worked for me from morning till evening.

I took the initiative to approach him and offered to massage his body. But he refused, and instead took my foot.

"Mas, are you tired? Can I have a pijitin?" Mr. Rohman rose from his sleep, then fondly stroked my hair. He smiled at me and kissed me on the forehead.

"No need, baby. Here, let me just flirt with you. You're pregnant, and you've come a long way. Must be tired, right." Rohman's foot-snawed me. I feel bad for him, though.

Though I had seen him so exhausted that he fell asleep after coming home from Malioboro. But instead he refused to be scolded. It was even me who was scolded.

I haven't had much of him in a long time. For betraying Rohman all this time. I firmly slept with Mas Rendy while Mas Rohman was at work. But that's not my will. I'm just afraid of being treated harshly by Mas Rendy. At that time, I was at home by myself. And that just happened. I did that because there was an element of coercion.

To this day, I keep the incident a secret at that time. I'm just afraid that if Mas Rohman finds out, he'll be mad at me. I had an intention to tell a story. But all I've done. Considering Mas Rohman's relationship with Rendy is not good. I'm just afraid of something unthinkable happening between the two of them just because of me.

"Honey, if it wasn't for you, my nature wouldn't have changed. I love you so much sincerely from the bottom of my heart."

"Even I rejected a woman who liked me when I knew you. I also want to accept the child in your stomach, baby. Even if it's not my son. Because I can't give you a son."

"That's all I do because I love you so much, baby. Whatever I do, I will do if I can. It's just for you, baby."

"Trust me, I only have you. And I hope the opposite. I hope you are mine too."

"Because I feel, in your heart there is someone else besides me. I hope what I feel isn't right, baby. I'm sure you love me too."

The words of Mr. Rohman are so heartbreaking. I wish I could shed these tears. But I hold it, so deep he said. I really felt very guilty about him.

God, I was so confused this time. I really love Rohman. But I still have Rendy in mind. I wish, whoever is my soul mate. I'm just asking you to come closer and unite. Because I don't want to keep going like this either.

Holding this feeling alone, it was very painful. I betrayed Mr. Rohman. But I also felt the pain. It is very evil of me to someone who is truly sincere to me.

It feels like I want to end my relationship with Mas Rendy. I want him to stay away from me. I just want to be free from the suffering that I have been feeling and I am self-serving. There is no place to pour everything.

I would love to tell someone what I am going through right now. But I was afraid, the person I trusted could not keep my secret. It's so hard to go through all this.

A call woke me up from the daydream. Rohman called me and shook my body. But it turns out I didn't realize it.

"Darling, what's wrong with you?"

"I've been calling you. But you have no answer, dear."

"Why are you, sick?"

"Ahh, enn. no, Mas. I'm fine, all right."

"But your face is a little tense, dear. Are you having a problem?"

"No, Mom, I'm fine. I don't have any problem, okay."

"You've been daydreaming. If there is anything, you just tell me. Don't hold it yourself, baby. Later you can be stressed, kasian the baby in your stomach. It'll be affected later."

"Yes, I understand."