Trapped in the Love of the Past
Trapped in the Love of the Past
"Wa.alaikumsalam."
I was staring at him.
A torrent of anger emanated from my man's face. At first glance I saw Mas Kamal looking at me and Azzam alternately. The man was confused. I slowly walked over to Azzam who was stuck at the door.
"What are you here for?" Ask her.
The man sighed. Weight.
"Kalila, mending tell his guests to come in first,"
Mas Kamal's Advice.
For a moment I looked towards him. I really feel bad about the guy sitting on the couch.
[Ah, Azzam. Why did you come at such an inopportune time.]
My soul is in my heart.
"Come in."
I went ahead of Azzam.
Then sit on the couch. The man followed from behind.
Mas Kamal got up from the sofa, then greeted Azzam who was now sitting.
"Kalila, I'd better go home first. Looks like there's something important you guys need to talk about."
Pamit Mas Kamal to me. From Azzam's body gesture, apparently he realized that there would be important things that the man would tell me.
"But Mas--,"
"Nothing, God willing, I'll be here again tomorrow."
He said while smiling.
I looked into his eyes. Apologizing for this unfortunate incident. The man nodded. Understand the situation I am in.
"Monggo Mas, Assalamualaikum,"
He told Azzam.
"Waalaikumsalam," I answered along with azzam.
"What are you here for?"
I asked a little bit.
The man swallowed the saliva. Then rubbed his face rough.
"Sorry Kalila. I'm here at Nisa's request."
The man looked down.
"Nisa will have surgery in two days. He asked me to pick you up because he said he wanted to see you so badly,"
"I'm sorry I can't."
Reject me.
"I beg Kalila, just this once."
Pinta Azzam.
The man then took his phone. Opening the gallery on that flat object. Then thrust at me.
"Here, Nisa's still in the hospital."
I took that thing. On the phone screen I saw a picture of Nisa lying weakly in a hospital bed. Face pale.
His right hand was infused.
Astarghfirullah's.
I really can't bear to see it.
"What happened to Nisa?"
I asked Azzam who was leaning weakly on the back of the sofa.
"2 days ago, she passed out on the first day of mens. I finally took her to the hospital. Doctors suggested Nisa stay fit, so that her condition is stable and surgery can be done,"
His word.
The man's chest went up and down. His breathing is irregular. His face looks very tired.
Dark circles clearly shadowed his eye area. Her hair looks messy.
My breathing suddenly became crowded seeing the condition of the man beside me. I want to feel like holding his hand. Strengthen the man. But again, I have no right to him.
My eyes suddenly dew.
It was impossible to imagine Nisa feeling such terrible pain. Four years, this self bears witness to how the woman always moans in the first days of her cycle. Before I married Azzam, I was the one that the orphan girl had always relied on. I was the one who always accompanied him in the boarding house when he lay weak.
"Go home Zam."
Azzam. There is a disappointed picture on the face. Rubbing his face with both hands.
"God willing, tomorrow I will come with you,"
I'm lirih.
Instantly I saw the net sparkle.
"Alhamdulillah O Allah!"
The screech.
"Thank you Kalila."
Both of his hands were firmly clenched above the knees. As if holding back from holding me.
I nodded slowly.
Not long ago Azzam left this house.
I took my phone to send a message to Mas Kamal.
[Assynoltomodel. Sorry for the incident just now]
Five minutes passed and there was no reply. I waited anxiously. I was worried that the man was disappointed in me. Kamal had not met his father.
Drrr..
Gawaiku. A message notification appears on the screen.
[Not what Kalila]
Ah, I'm breathing a sigh of relief.
[Tomorrow I have to go to Batam]
Reply again
[Ok]
Briefest. That was his only reply.
My heart is beating ungodly. My heart was again filled with anxiety. Is he really disappointed in me?
He didn't even ask who the guy who came by just now was.
Ah .. never mind.
I put my phone back on the table. Gontai I went to the room to prepare the needs to go to Batam.
****
Today I will go to Batam on a plane at 10 am with Azzam.
"We check in by ourselves."
My love for him
I was worried that if we checked in together, we would get a seat next to each other. I couldn't stand to be next to him for two hours.
The man nodded slowly. Approved my request.
The man then took some distance from me. We were separated between a few people. I'm up ahead. Azzam in the back.
"Gate 8 yes Mom,"
The check in officer.
I nodded as I received the boarding pass he handed over.
Then walk up to the airport floor. I saw Azzam. The water navy man was looking at me with his eyes.
Ah, why is the vibration still there.
I quickly turned my face away from her.
Ride the escalator to Gate 8.
For thirty minutes I was in the waiting room. I saw Azzam sitting on a long bench, far across from my chair. We purposely kept each other at a distance, to avoid the ever-present clash of hearts if we were close together. The man opened a small Koran and read it.
Heavy I swallowed saliva.
Again this heart suddenly sank.
**
"What seat is Mom?"
A flight attendant asked me as I walked down the aisle of the plane.
"16B,"
My answer.
"Oh please over there."
The fashionable beautiful flight attendant pointed her palm towards the front. I walked in the direction of his hand.
When I put my stuff in the upper cabin.
"Calilla,"
The deg!
I heard Azzam's voice calling me. He was sitting in a chair by the window. A 16. Right next to me.
Athaghfirullah!
What other scenario is this, God?
"You're sitting here, Zam?"
I don't believe it.
He handed me his boarding pass.
God is the seat.
[So why did I set her to stay away from me. If the edges are like this]
I growled in my heart.
"You want a tucker chair? Let me be in the middle,"
Bargainly.
I'm shaking.
Let me face my destiny this time.
"Excuse me sir."
I asked the owner of the 16c seat to pass it so I could sit in my place.
Azzam looked at me. Then set his eyes straight ahead. Dare not to talk to me.
For a moment we were silent. I closed my eyes. Pretending sleep.
"Who is that guy?"
Ask a question a moment later.
"Nobody."
I answered, still closing my eyes.
"Prospective husband?"
"What is your business like that."
I answered a little bit.
Azzam breathed deeply.
Then wrestled again with the silence that was present between us.
I saw him drowning in the little book he had read. The man recited every verse written in it.
Makes this chest rumble even more.
**
The smell of drugs poked my nose as Azzam and I arrived at the hospital. I rushed towards Nisa's room being treated. While Azzam headed to the mosque to perform the prayers of the duhur
"Nisa Assalamualaikum."
I said while opening the door.
"Getishalight."
The woman answered my greeting.
His eyes gnawed happily as I stretched out my arms to embrace him.
"Thank you Kalila, you're finally here."
He said back to my embrace.
"Yes are the same."
I stroked his back. Nisa looks thinner than when I saw her last time.
"Gue's afraid of Lila."
Nisa suddenly sobbed on my shoulder.
I stroked his head back.
"Don't be afraid, there's God, there's Azzam your husband, there's me. Trust me God willing all will be fine."
I tried to calm him down.
"When's the operation?"
My toot.
"Tomorrow."
Nisa took off my embrace.
The woman then held my hand tightly.
"Lila, promise me."
I scrunched my forehead a sign of not understanding.
"What?"
"If after surgery, life doesn't side with me, please accompany Azzam."
Nisa's crying broke again. He sniffled while still holding my hand.
"Nisa, you can't precede destiny. God willing, everything will be fine."
I encourage. My eyes are heating up. My heart raged at his request. No tears falling from the eyelids.
"Udah, now you calm yourself. Bismillah yes."
I rubbed her cheeks wet with tears.
Slowly Nisa nodded.
"This is Mom's hand, make you."
I smiled as I handed over the souvenir package containing Surabaya layer.
"Thank you. Put it there."
His index point was towards the nightstand beside the bed.
**
At 14:00 the Nisa operation will be performed.
The doctors and nurses paced back and forth to prepare the equipment. Nisa was sitting on a wheelchair driven by her husband. His face still looks pale.
I slowly approached.
"Bismillah yes Nis, God willing everything is fine."
I said, holding his hand tightly.
Nisa nodded with a smile.
Minutes later the woman had entered the operating room.
Before long, the operating room indicator light turned on. Signs of a hysterectomy have been performed.
Me and Azzam waited anxiously in the long chair.
All prayers and sholawat. I hope everything will be okay.
I saw Azzam reach into his pocket. Take out a small quran and read it.
I was stunned to look at the man.
Ah Nisa, how lucky you are to have a man like him.
***
A few hours later the operating room lights went out.
A doctor came out of the white-painted room. Approaching me and Azzam who are in a state of anxiety
