Like the Fragile Who Tried to Stay Whole

87

Aera awoke from her sleep, feeling her eyes become very heavy and a little uncomfortable.

Aera turned her head to the side of the window with the hordeng still tightly closed.

Then Aera turned her head to the wall clock, at 08:15.

"Why didn't Ana get up for what school?"

Gretu Aera opened the blanket that had previously covered half of her body.

Aera doesn't remember what happened last night, her memories are all just nightmares that happened in her sleep.

When the mirror Aera realized with the folds of black clothes placed on her dresser.

"What clothes is this?"

Aera goes out to look for Ana's whereabouts.

"Mba, mba Ana"

Aera exclaimed out of the room while calling out to Ana.

No voice mba Ana who swept Aera instead presented a crowd of people dressed in black who saw Aera from the top of the stairs.

Aera approached the mama who was sitting among the ranks of people dressed in black with something lying in front of her tightly covered with cloth, jenajah mba Ana.

"This is what ma ko rame rake really"

Ask Aera to mom.

"Hhhhh..."

Mama stroked her breath with a cry that came back pouring down.

"Mama why?"

Aera asked with her mother who became crying because of her question.

"Aera don't be rich gini baby, not her you know semalem mba Ana already does not exist"

Clarify mama.

"How is ma? Aera is having nightmares, but this is?"

"All real dear"

Mama immediately hugged Aera to strengthen her.

Deck.. Shortness of moment was again felt, in the embrace of mama Nara staring at the corpse of mba Ana who was lying tightly covered with cloth.

After a while Aera let go of the mother's arms and dropped herself to be exposed to the cloth covering Mba Ana's body. Aera looked at Ana's closed mba so pale and cold. Aera hugged her with a cry that was so swift.

Aera returned to the room limply to change clothes with clothes that had been prepared by mama on the table.

Aera came back down after all in black clothes approached the corpse of Mba Ana who was neatly bathed and in the cafeteria.

Everyone who came read Yasin and recited his other prayer.

But Aera just sat quietly, stiffly glued to see a pale face with a nose that had been covered with cotton.

Her move to deliver mba Ana to the final resting is very heavy, Aera still not sincerely accept all this. The nightmare turned real.

Witnessing Ana being buried, Aera seemed calm with endless tears to shed.

Mama frequently rubbed Aera's back, occasionally embracing her fear that Aera would faint again.

"The strong, baby"

Mama's whisper gives strength to Aera.

Aera only nodded with a wipe of her tears and traces on her cheeks.

"Good road mba"

Said Aera with the body of Mba Ana who began to be covered with soil.

"Thank you, thank you so much mba"

Aera has shed her tears again.

"There are many expressions, there are many things that Aera still wants to tell, there are many things that Aera has not said, there are many things that Aera has not done to bales all the good mba"

Aera continued sitting while holding the signboard that had been stuck.

Remaining Aera and mama, Aera continued to cry by holding the sign mba Ana.

Someone who was also wearing all black clothes suddenly came over.

"Nadzara"

Excited a grandmother.

"Mother"

Mama cried after looking at the voice that called her.

Aera turned her head with two voices calling out to each other.

Aera recognized the figure of the grandmother, the Persian nek someone whom Ana knew as well. 

"Where have you been? I'm looking for you and we're finally found in this place, a place like this"

Clearly the Persian nek, as if he was expressing with tears that fell.

"Why are you looking for me again?"

Ask my mom to make sure.

After ever his existence became a mistake and was thrown away just like that now back in search after a long time.

"I'm sorry Naya's mom, but I needed you back then because Anan was in a coma for more than a year, he kept calling your name but was never able to come to his senses until finally today Anan was declared dead"

Clearly the Parsiah's grandmother became more profuse with her cries.

Mama almost fell off her balance after a shocking thing was heard.

Aera quickly woke up and supported her by embracing her.

"Ma, why?"

Tanya Aera made sure with Aera herself who was feeling weak.

"Ma?"

The call of the Parsiah nek repeated Aera's call.

"This is Aera Bu my son"

"Don't tell me she's.."

Nek Parsiah became different in his expression after any prejudices arrived at his realization.

"Yes Ma'am, he's Anan's son, so now I have to"

"What does this mean ma"

Aera who did not understand the conversation of the two.

Who's Anan someone who mom says Aera is her son.

"Son's grandma son"

Nec Parsiah stretched out both hands to bring Aera into his arms.

Aera turned her head to look at mama, intending for mama to be able to explain everything to Aera.

Mama only nodded which meant that Parsiah's grandmother was right.

"So that means, my grandmother's son is my father?"

Aera asked clarified with tear glasses that were already in full.

Nek Parsiah nodded at her.

Tests... Aera's tear glasses fell back, after understanding what was happening, what is currently in the conversation between mama and Nek Parsiah.

"So that means someone referred to as my father also died today"

Mama and Grandpa Parsiah nodded with her cries.

And deck... There was a new knife that arrived piercing at the same side of the wound.

Chest that has been painful and tight becomes it feels many times.

In the end, longing is longing.

In the end, longing can never be delivered.

In the end, longing can never be avenged.

In the end he who is truly lost creates a moment of loss.

In the end, there will be no story to remember as the past.

And in the end everything must be released the same as what Ana taught about the scattered Dandelion flowers.

"We're going to your dad's funeral, son"

Take the Parsiah to Aera by extending her hand.

But Aera instead stayed away rewinding her steps.

"Why baby?"

Mama asked to see Aera dodging.

"Aera wants to go home ma, Aera cape"

Obviously Aera to mama.

"We'll see your father's funeral, let's watch him for a second"

Take names.

"MA!"

Aera's touch with speech felt to hurt her more.

"Make Aera father and mother make Aera just mama, Aera's parents just mama and mba Ana. So Anan or whoever it is Aera doesn't care"

What happens if you miss and hate being side by side in the same room.

For this time hate to be in control of Aera, because anger and disappointment that eventually become a clear and very real description. Time, waiting, hope all in vain.

Between her unraveling hair in front of the chest the flying strands of Dandelion flowers landed on Aera's hair. Aera took a clearer look and turned her head in a daze at the tomb of Mba Ana.

Aera closed her eyes understanding the omens that Ana gave. Understanding of the possibility that Ana also wants Aera to visit the tomb of Anan, her biological father.

"But Aera was hurt and disappointed?"

Aera exclaimed that Ana might still be able to listen to her.

"At least for this time, son, put that feeling aside for the sake of the grandmother's child"

Please Grandpa Parsiah with great hope.

Aera fell silent again dropping her tears before Aera nodded her head to join Anan's father, someone who had become an illusion in longing and disappointment in a short time.

"Son, I brought your daughter Aera"

Exclamation nek Parsiah squatting near the signboard that says Anan Saputra.

Nek Parsiah wakes up giving his place to Aera, Aera crouches down with her in mind mama, and nek Parsiah.

Aera squatted to the nameplate that read the name of the person Aera should have called Father.

Terpaku did not understand what to start with, all felt so awkward.

Aera was speechless with what arrived at her recollection and realization, her eyes becoming teary back with her full of tears.

"So for a year the same dream kept coming because you barged into my dream"

Aera's tears finally completely dripped, Aera tried to remain calm holding back the roar of crying that wanted to overflow.

"You shouldn't have left before giving me a lot of explanations. Do you love me? Do you acknowledge me as your daughter and all her. That way I can decide to keep missing you or hating and forgetting. My time is drained with feelings and prejudices that I never get clarity on, why should I be treated like this, why is this all that I get instead?"

Aera was bowed with increasingly heavy cries with many of her tear grains falling over eating Anan.

Mama crouched down to hold Aera in her arms.

"Sorry dear mama, all because of mama, mama who has covered all this"

"Why ma?"

Tanya Aera released herself from the embrace of mama to stare and pay attention to mama.

"Later, I'll explain"

"Why not now ma?"

"Later, son"

One by one the brittle tears become broken and broken.