A DEEP WOUND

Loyal audience

Me and the other sisters were gathered by ustazah. Because of the many santriwati who have not returned, the santriwati are told to clean the cottage.

 

Pick up litter, pluck grass and more. While I was pulling the grass, my mother came to pick me up to go home.

 

It looks like the mother wears a black hijab, wrapped in a black robe. The one I was pulling the grass with the other santri. I stood up to greet my mother's arrival.

“Assalamu’alaikum,” their smile emanated from the beautiful face of a woman who I considered so very extraordinary in my life.

“Wa’alaikumsalam warohmatullahi wabarokatuh,” I replied to mother, kissing the back of her hand.

“Sit first, Buk.” I took Mom to sit in front of the terrace of the cottage santriwati.

“Iya. You've already wrapped your shirt not?”

“Come on, Buk. It's been a long time since Manda put on a shirt. Yes, Buk. I want to tell mom. Here it's called ustaz Aris. Mmm. .. she offered to be sent home. But ... Manda said the same to him, if you want to be picked up with mom.” I whispered to my mother.

“Who's name ustaz Aris?”

“Ustaz Aris it ...?his son Mudir, Buk. His son is the leader of the cottage here.” With a doubtful face, I tried to tell.

“Lohh ... Why would he want to nawarin you for anterin. Mother confused?”

“I don't know either, Buk.”

“You are the same as him. So he wants to anterin you home.” My mother asked me like a suspicious face.

“Why do you ask like that?”

“Yaaa ... Mom was confused. How he wants to anterin you go home, you seem to have been very familiar. ‘And there is no way he suddenly nawarin go home that way, if you do not know far.” This time she looked at me sharply. I don't know what he thinks of me.

“No, Buk. It's just the same guy, Manda. Yes, I have, I wait a minute. Manda want to change clothes just as take the items that will be brought home.” Then I left Mom to change clothes and take the things I was going to bring home.

After a few minutes, I went back to see my mother. And when I came out of the santriwati's room, I now had to be confronted by my best friend Salsa.

“Antum so go home now?” Salsa asked in front of me.

“Iya,” answer.

“Terus .. ustaz Aris so anterin antum home?”

“Ana don't know, Salsa. Oya, if antum return when?”

“Maybe tomorrow. If ustaz Aris is not anterin antum, why did he chat with antum mom there.”

“What! cook sih?” without waiting for long, I immediately approached the mother who was sitting talking with Ustaz Aris. I just stood still watching mom chat with ustaz Aris. I don't know what they've discussed. But as much as possible I tried to smile seeing the two of them sitting together. This time either let alone the purpose of ustaz Aris.

“Manda. Here, Nak.”

I smiled blandly at my mother's smile. With the bag on my shoulder and holding one more bag with my next hand. Of course with an unpleasant feeling. I walked over to Mom and Ustaz Aris.

“Anti so go home?” ask ustaz Aris to me who is sitting near my mother.

“Na’am, Ustaz. So,” answered me while lowering my head.

“Anti received a report yesterday?”

“Already.”

“Aa."

When I wanted to say something, it just happened to coincide with ustaz Aris. So that makes me and him stiff because of shame. Mom just fell silent, maybe confused to see us together want to say something.

“Anti only the first, by the way.”

“Mmmm .. no, Ustaz. Ustaz only the first.”

“Yes already, anti or not in anterin. Earlier ana had said it was the same Mother anti, later in the anterin use Mudir.” car

I was offered to go home by ustaz Aris using a Mudir car, making me shocked.

“Ng-no, Ustaz. Later ana same mother use public transportation only. No, Ustaz. Ana was afraid that Mudir's seandenya would know. Anyway thanks in advance, but .. sorry, Ana can't accept this offer.” With an anxious face I tried to tell ustaz Aris.

“Mudir is not there, last night Mudir has departed. In order not to be slander, anti wait outside just the same anti mother. Fear later anti so embarrassed to see the same santriwati and other ustazah.”

While I was just speechless, worry could not be denied. I'm afraid, if the friends know delivered home by ustaz Aris. It'll be a disaster for me.

Seeing ustaz Aris sitting with his mother alone has made other santriwati wonder. It really scares me with friends who see me thinking later like there's something.

“Already. You just accept Aris's invitation to take us home. Maybe, he wants to help Mom with you, son.” Mother forcing me to accept Aris's ustaz offer made me so very confused.

“Mmmm .. Yes already, I agree-agree, Buk. If you say yes, I do too, Buk," I replied to my mother with a worried face.

Finally I agreed to be delivered by ustaz Aris and waited for him outside the boarding house so that no one would see us.

After getting out of the cottage. We also did not wait long ustaz Aris came in front of me and my mother drove a car.

I always wish no one would see. Instead, no one is looking. My mom and I were in the car. We had to cross paths with the car of one of the ustazah. I don't know if he saw us or not. In my heart, I hope that no one will suspect that me and my mother will be ushered home by ustaz Aris.

Time on the way, the quiet atmosphere in the car happened. No one opened the conversation. I sat in the front, next to ustaz Aris just silent to take my eyes off the windshield. Look at the roads we walked. Mom sat in the back alone.

“Oya, Buk. It means far away, yes. Lombok west to Lombok north. Continue ... Do you know where Ar-Rahman's boarding house is from? So you want to send Manda there?” ask ustaz Aris to my mother break the silence.

“Mom doesn't know exactly. Everyone knows Manda. And all of a sudden he'd love to go to school at his Abinya boarding school, Ustaz.” Mother replied ustaz Aris.

Ustaz Aris who was sitting next to me just nodded her head in agreement with mother's answer. Actually I also want to answer my ustaz question. I learned this boarding school from high school friends first. Many friends even admire the Ar-Rahman pesantren. Until I also admire and can also school there.

I am still silent with silence. Although ustaz Aris and mother are discussing boarding school. Ustaz Aris did not ask me anything. Maybe he's embarrassed or how I don't know.

A few minutes later. Now it's my turn to be asked by Ustaz Aris. What I had been daydreaming to see the streets we passed was shocked because of ustaz Aris.

“Manda. Where does the anti tau boarding school Ar-Rahman?” ask ustaz Aris to me.

I was facing the left side looking at the streets across. Turned eyes towards ustaz Aris with a flat face.

“From friends,” I replied to ustaz Aris.

By changing the sitting position to upright facing the front. Ustaz Aris just nodded hearing my answer.

“Oya, first ... High School time, your school is far away or not?”

“Lumayan, Ustaz.” When I was answering a question from Ustaz Aris, suddenly my mother triggered the words to answer first.

“Then, Manda often use a bicycle when leaving school.”

“Means pretty far, yeah, Buk. Proof ‘kan, Manda must use a bicycle if leaving school.”

******

After hours of travel. We also arrived at my house. Ustaz Aris is also welcome to enter by mother.

While I, put the stuff into the room.

“Manda. Manda,” mother's voice calls my name.

“Yes, Buk."

I went out to approach the mother who was sitting with ustaz Aris. The seat provided by the mother uses a makeshift mat. Understandably, we are not people. So, just the potluck.

“You sat down first temenin ustaz Aris here. Mom wants to go out first.” Whisper my mother to me who was standing by the door of the room.

“Mother, where are you going?”

“Mother wants to find ustaz Aris food first, kasian 'right. Long trip he has delivered us, cook only serve warm tea.” Whisper my mother to me again.

I sat down to accompany my teacher. Positions that face each other, but a considerable distance for 2 people to keep the view, and everything that is prohibited in Islam. Okay, not sok alim. Just don't look at each other. Don't know that taste yet.

“Mother, where were you going?” ask ustaz Aris to me.

“Mother, want to come out for a while, Ustaz.”

 

The silence happened again in my very simple room. Me and ustaz Aris sat on a mat. I just lowered my head and fell silent in embarrassment.

 

Such circumstances made me tremble sitting together with ustaz Aris. I'm confused about what happened. For the first time a Manda had to sit with a man. My hands were getting cold and sweating. I don't know what I'm feeling.

“By no, ana nanya something equally anti?"

“Please, Ustaz. Want to ask what?” ask again.

“Anti ... ever thought of getting married?”

 

I who was with a flat face, now turned into shocked to hear the question Ustaz Aris. My lips, which had been closed, opened slightly in shock at her question. What do I feel is the point of confusion??

I don't know what surprised me to hear such a question. Yes Alla ...? There really is no harm in asking people like that. At the age of 19, am I thinking about getting married? If I can be honest. Not yet!!

 

“If asked about the issue of marriage, honestly ana has not thought up there, Ustaz. Ana thinks about how to go back to school. Moreover, ana wants to study in Cairo like Ustaz, first.” I answered ustaz Aris with a nervous face.

“Oouhh, ana thought anti ever think of getting married young?" ask ustaz Aris again.

Married young? What kind of question is this.

“Never, Ustaz. But ... for the problem of a soul mate already has a set. And ana doesn't know when a soul mate comes.”

“If God brings an anti-fast soul mate, anti-ready not to marry?"

I'm getting nervous to hear all the questions Ustaz Aris. It felt like making me want to leave in front of him.

“I mean, Ustaz, what?” I started to sweat cold. And ... There's a little bit of resentment in this heart.

“If ana is anti-marriage. How?”

I was again surprised by Aris's question. What's on his mind. Until he asked me to marry. I don't want to get married at such a young age. I want school. My heart felt like rebelling to hear all the words of ustaz Aris.

But ... what's my day, if I answer with annoyance. I'm afraid it's disrespectful in front of the teacher himself.

“Ana ... do not understand, antum mean? Ustaz.” I'm in a nervous voice.

“Senjak first look anti, ana would like to know more. So ana had to send a letter through anti friends, because it feels like ana has a strong feeling of anti. Ana wants to be more serious.” The eyes and sight of ustaz Aris strive for quality. “If ana invites anti-marriage, is anti want?”

This time ... My whole body was sweating. I started to slowly wet my body. The beating of my heart, the stiffening of my mouth to answer his question. What kind of question is this?

Oh Allah .. have you brought my soul mate so soon. I'm not ready!

“Why anti-silence," reprimanded ustaz Aris broke my daydreams and nervousness.

“Ana don't know what to answer, Ustaz. What exactly does it mean, Ustaz.”

“Good, ana will say again same anti. Ana likes the same anti, and therefore want to meghalalkan anti. However, ana will wait for the anti school to finish first. Just got married," replied ustaz Aris again.

“To be honest .. ana is afraid of all this. This is wrong, everything we do is wrong, Ustaz!” I replied in a slightly loud voice braving myself.

“What is anti-fear? There is nothing to worry about, in the cottage stayed one year anti school. Even though we are married later, ana promises to try to help anti in order to continue school in Cairo. When necessary, we stay together there.” Ustaz Aris tried to convince me.

And as I was about to answer, suddenly my mother came to greet me.

“Assalamu’alaikum,” says mother.

Seeing my mother's arrival I tried to be mediocre.

“Wa’alaikumsalam waromatullahi wabarokatuh,” my answer is in conjunction with ustaz Aris. Pake at the same time all. What might be a soul mate, yahh.

 

Mom came in throwing smiles at me and ustaz Aris. Without a word, he went straight to the kitchen.

 

It only took a few minutes, the mother came with a tray of makeshift snacks.

“Please on meal, Ustaz.” Mom's handing food to ustaz Aris.

“Thank you, Mom. Oya, I don't need to call me, Ustaz. Call me, Aris. Not good as it sounds, Buk.”

“Alright, from now on I call, Nak Aris.”

After a long time of rest in my house, Ustaz Aris said goodbye to mother to go home.

“Nak Aris be careful on the road. If you have time, play here often, son. The door of our house is always open for us, son Aris," said the mother to ustaz Aris who delivered her to the front of the house with me.

“Iya, Buk. God willing, if there is time I come here, in the cottage must feel lonely for the next two weeks. Moreover santriwan and santriwati on vacation home.”

Ustaz Aris then say goodbye to me and Mom, “Mari, Buk. Mandaic. Assalamu’alaikum.”

“Wa’alaikumsalam warahmatullohhi wabarokatuh,” answered me and my mother while smiling widely.

Huh. I let out a rough breath after seeing the departure of Ustaz Aris. His response really made me dizzy.