A DEEP WOUND

Aya's anger

I haven't been home to my mother in a long time. I asked for leave to go home to see my mother. Fortunately, the boss I worked so well that he was given a few days off.

And the one who runs the bakery where I work is also Hadi's friend, Riko. So, he was so good to me.

 

Today I don't use public transport to go home. Except Salsa brought me. He said he felt sorry for me if I had to use public transport. While my rumah is very far away. She can't let alone me a girl.

At first he offered me to be delivered home by Riko's sister. However, I refuse. There's no way I'm bothering Riko's sister let alone she's so busy with her work. It's just Salsa's holiday so take me. Actually, I refused to deliver. But since Salsa forced me to.

 

When we got home, it was almost afternoon. Mother who did not know I came home directly taget. He bothered with my arrival and Salsa all of a sudden. And I told him.

 

Don't do this, enough food is enough. But mom won't listen to me. He still bothered to prepare food for me and Salsa.

"Eh. Don't need to be wired. It will be my mother who takes care of everything" said my mother to me. When I was about to pick up the dirty dishes we had used for dinner.

"No, Buk. It's okay, I want to help Mom. It's not been a long time to help Mom," I said again moving away carrying the dirty dishes that I would wash.

 

Salsa, who saw me helping my mother, helped too.

 

I smile at my friend. Anyway, I still don't feel good if he has to help me clean things up.

"You sit down, Sa. Don't come here" I said, washing dirty dishes.

"It's okay, Da. The plate that was clean later I put it. Cook yes I've been given to eat given nginep can not help you, he," said Salsa again laughing small near me.

 

Finish dinner and clean it all up. Salsa and I went into the room. Salsa sat leaning her back on my bed. While I sat on my bed.

 

I grabbed my phone that was on the nightstand. Actually, every hold of a cell phone I'm afraid if there is a message coming in from ustaz Aris.

But tonight I survived. Tumben had no incoming message from him. I thought about how to avoid it. I tried to open my phone. I unplugged my sim card.

"Why hape you?" salsa asked me a little surprised when I was concerned with the sim card I removed.

I looked at Salsa who saw me. "Hm. Nothing," I answered briefly.

"Nothing. Teruss, his card was removed. Is your phone error again?" salsa asked in surprise.

"Nothing. I'm just changing numbers. Tomorrow we go out, yuk, want to buy a new sim card," I said with a little hesitation.

"Huh. Change cards? What's your card?" salsa asked, frowning.

"It's okay. I just want to change the number. I want to ... find a beautiful number," I replied trying to put on a smile without any burden.

"Oouhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Yeah, it's up to you, Da."

I turned to look at Salsa who focused on playing her\phone. And Salsa knew that I was watching her from earlier.

"Why you?" salsa asked, nodding her head at me.

"Huh. I'm. Nothing, Sa," I replied and looked down.

"Not there, but your face is so moody. What's the matter, anyway?" Salsa tried to sit up to me. "I know you, Da. It seems like there is something you are thinking about. What are you thinking?"

I tried to swallow my saliva. Then try to keep my mind calm. For some reason, ever since Ustaz Aris said that hiding my own feelings made me think.

"Tu. Onem again. Here's my same story," said Salsa holding both shoulders to face him.

"I-I .. not why, kok, Sa."

"Denger, yes, Manda. You are my best friend. I've known you for a long time, I know you, Da. Don't lie to me. You can't hide anything in front of Salsa, Manda ..."

"Hm-mm ... Salsa," I said doubtfully. Think about whether I should tell Salsa or not.

"What?" salsa asked me to look at me waiting for what I wanted to say.

 "Mmm .. m-m you. Do you want to help me get to college?" I hide the burden in my mind.

"Oouhhh, that. I guess what. God willing so, Da. You don't have to think about it, tomorrow I'll help you get into college. Tomorrow after you enter, you can apply for a scholarship. I'm sure you can get a scholarship, Da," Salsa said, trying to convince me.

I feel confused. On the other side of my heart was agitated, I wanted to tell Salsa about ustaz Aris. But my heart feels heavy to say it. I was afraid that he would get angry or upset with me later.

While the words of Ustaz Aris were so sharp to me. He said he wouldn't stop bothering me before I would meet to talk to him about something serious.

I'm afraid, if I meet with ustaz Aris will discuss the issue of marriage. It seems that he had a certain purpose so he often also sent food or this to me.

After discussing the matter of college for a while with Salsa. I tried to sleep near Salsa. I saw that my friend had closed his eyes. Perhaps, he was so tired that he slept well.

While I, tried many\-times to close my eyes still this eye can not be closed. I tried istigfar many\times so as not to think about the name ustaz Aris again.

I often get confused about my own feelings. On the other hand, I thought my feelings had already diminished from ustaz Aris. But in fact, when he was present again disturbed my life. This heart is like wanting to cry constantly if you have to remember memories first.

I really want this self to be beside him. And that's in mind now.

"Does he still have a taste until he keeps trying to get close to me. But .. Cook yes I have to love people's husbands. After all, he belongs to someone else. Do I have to forgive all my mistakes? Because as far as I know, he used to marry Nisa's ustazah because he was forced not to marry for love?" I muttered as I got out of my bed.

I'm trying to get some fresh air. Because inside it feels hot. I was standing in the backyard. Look at the sky scattered with stars\-stars so beautiful. I took a breath, then took it out slowly.

Hopefully, the mind can calm down. I can make good decisions for myself. Because I don't want to be a careless woman later.