A DEEP WOUND

Fall off

"Married to ustaz Aris. Ustazah please," pinta ustazah Nisa looked at me fixedly. My lips were trembling, confused as to what to answer.

 

I don't know what's on Nisa's mind. Why can he beg me again to marry ustaz Aris. He dared to go to work just to ask for something like this.

Ustazah Nisa clasped my hand tightly. Seeing her face pleading I couldn't. Although actually I do not understand what the purpose and purpose is to continue to force me to get married.

In fact, Mr. Kyai also had to intervene at home just to propose to me. If his senses ustaz Aris wants to find a wife again.

Why not just look for another woman. Why should I. All of that just kept coming to my mind. What I should do.

Really, if I go to college. Afraid that all this would bother me.

 

"Ana can't, Ustazah. Afwan (sorry)." I pulled my hand slowly, which was grasped tightly by Nisa's ustazah.

"What's the reason? Why the anti don't you want to?" Again, Nisa asked. I have said before that I cannot marry a man who has a wife.

"Why anti-silence, Manda?"

Nisa's ustazah question is like forcing me. Does he not think, if I long\-long depressed given questions like this. Do I have to give out my true nature. A genuine trait that does not like to be asked like this continues.

Ustaz Aris's. All his wives are the same. He asked me to marry a man who already had a wife. Where do they think. I'm a woman, and it hurts to share my heart with other women.

This self does love ustaz Aris. But, cook yes I have to marry her. What happened before is very difficult to remove.

"Stages. Sorry, ana has to work first. We can talk another time." I turned around without being polite to my teacher.

I put my foot out of front of him. I know it's rude, but to avoid questioning I just left.

After entering the store, I mingled with other friends. And I stepped closer to Febi while serving customers.

Febi frowned looking at me. Sometimes he still focuses on serving customers.

When the customer was a little, suddenly Febi pulled my hand. He took me to the corner of the shop. Where no friends\-friends will interfere.

"eeehh. Lepasine, Feb. Where you want to take me. No need ..."

"I want something with you."

Febi's eyes really scared me. He looked at me with sadistic eyes. "Ka\-you want to say something, Feb. No need to be li ..."

"Why? you scared?" asked Febi to corner me again. I was wrong about him. So that he once answered me. Every time he wants to talk, he always cuts my words. Habits of Febi. If she wants to talk, she wants to do it.

"Who did the woman come here?"

"You mean?" I was a little confused by a bit tense with Febi's question.

"Let's go. Who was it that was looking for you. Don't you know him?! Don't tell me you don't know him!"

"Hmm." I snorted harshly at Febi. "You mean Nisa's ustazah?" askaku.

"I've been wondering about your story for a long time."

I was stunned to hear Febi's words. He wants to know, yes. So I have to talk about my life. I'm not an artist whose life can attract the attention of many people. My life is very interesting, isn't it?

I'm just an ordinary girl who has a lika\-my life so bitter. Uh. I confided it would be.

"Why can. Ustazah Nisa told you .. marry ustaz Aris?"

"Uhukis. Uhuk. Uhuk." I was surprised to hear Febi's question. Where does he know if Nisa's ustazah begged me to marry Aris' ustaz. "You mean?"

"I'm surprised, you keep answering what you mean? Don't pretend to be****', Manda!"

"Yes. I am confused by your question. You just digress for a long time. Want to know this is so much about people's lives." I answered Febi at least in a subtle way, though a little upset.

Actually want to be angry, but it is impossible to follow the ego to be angry in front of people.

"I want to go back to the layanin of people" I said ketus and left Febi.

"Eh. You haven't answered me, Da."

"Your question is not suitable to answer!" I walked away from Febi.

Does he know about this too. My lips trembled at the words that came out of his mouth.

How can anyone be sorry about me. For me, nothing interesting can be used as gossip material.

******

I took a deep breath, as deep as I could then took it out slowly again.

Today, our red calendar is off work. So, Salsa asked me to go to a beach.

It's not Sunday, but Salsa keeps pushing. And thank God, it feels very comfortable to be on this beach.

If I can, I want to scream as loud as possible and want to be met by someone you think can accompany my life forever.

But, honey. I feel ashamed if I have to be reunited with a man\-man. Because I'm just an ordinary girl who doesn't have any advantages.

"So, Ustazah Nisa came to your shop just to ask that you marry her husband?"

I nodded as Salsa asked me.

"Can't they, they maksa? what the hell does that mean?"

I frowned looking at Salsa's expression. He was confused by what happened to me.

"I don't know, Sa. But I feel lazy to make their ladenin again. Until when they will persuade me. I have refused many times. Is there no other woman but me."

Salsa was silent as if thinking of something. I don't know what he's thinking. It's just that I'm grateful to be able to have a best friend like Salsa. So I can tell him this.

"You still love ustaz Aris?"

"Huh. Mean you?" obviously Salsa's question made me blush in embarrassment and shock.

"You still love her?" salsa asked.

"Why do you think it's like that?"

"Oh Allah, Manda. You can answer yes or no!"

I snorted annoyedly at the sight of my friend. "I don't know, Sa" I replied.

"Lahh .. I don't know, anyway."

"Yes. I don't know."

"If you still had the same feeling. You accept it, but .. don't accept it right away. If you can get yourself to God. Salat in the middle of the malem, you confide in Allah. Let's not believe it continue. Actually, I don't think we need to tell you. I don't know why I feel like you're a little far away now with God."

Salsa's words made me swallow. My heart as sliced, I admit I used to do prayers a third of the night. But now I never do. Njai is rare. What Salsa said touched this heart.

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