A DEEP WOUND

The Cafe

Sometimes I see a married couple who are still in front of me. Not directing my gaze directly, I also mostly lowered my head.

Squeezing the tip of my hijab, a powerful way to eliminate the feeling of laziness facing two people who are in front of me.

 

Perhaps, the tip of the hijab that I knead will be curly-shaped. Curly curls, curly straight, kribo curly .. and many models of krit. Guess the hair, the tip of the hijab can be kriting.

So strong is this hand squeezing.until my hands sweat.

"We're sitting there, yeah, Da." My daydream was broken when Nisa's ustazah invited her to sit on a front porch of the santriwati class.

I just follow, and I don't want to say a word yet.

"Oh, yes, Da. Why didn't the anti tell me if I wanted to go to the cottage. If anti said before. Maybe, we can pick up an anti. Kasian' right if you use a motorcycle far range. The road is also somewhat prone to heading here, while anti-female."

Heh. Did I not hear wrong. Cook yes I have to tell him if I want to come here. Who he is to be told. Mom's right? brother right? Not friends. Gurus. He was a teacher, but that was it. Not now. What, the hell, he meant?

"Manda."

"Yes, Zah" I replied as Zah Nisa rebuked me.

"Hm. Ustazah does not want to mince words for too long. We just get to the point, yes," said Nisa's ustazah again.

I scrunched a little forehead hearing Nisa's obtazah speech. What exactly do you want to talk about. If I linger I want to go.

"Previously, Ustaz Aris never invited you to marry, right." Ustazah Nisa grabbed my hand. He stroked my hand. Maybe to take heart or something. "Well, now the ustazah is between you two. Ana tau, Manda. You two still love each other very much. If you can, ana wants to be anti be friends or friends ustazah at the same time we both be wife ustaz Aris."

I'm shocked. And very surprised. What I heard. Is there something wrong with my hearing?

Do I need to check my ears with a specialist? If I could, my heart would like to stop beating for a while. My mouth felt stiff for a moment.

"I mean, what's the ustazah?" many confused. And maybe right now I'm like the person ****'.

"Maybe, the first ustazah ever made a mistake to seize the man you love. Ustazah knows you both have such strong feelings. However, ana snatched all of it from the anti, Manda."

I wanted to close my eyes when I heard the words\-word ustazah Nisa. How can he talk about the past. I really hate it when he has to talk about the past. I tried to catch my breath to answer everything he said.

"Ages. Ustazah cannot blame himself. What happened to ustazah has all become the provisions of Allah. And ... about what was not necessary to discuss. Ana's forgotten everything, Zah."

I tried to answer Nisa's ustazah even though my heart was already starting to hurt. If it's honest, it's impossible. I wouldn't say if my heart still felt pain until now. And don't know when it'll heal.

"He knows that everything has become God's rule. However, now the ustazah are sincere and very willing if you get married. Ustazah willing, even very willing if we together become a good wife for ustaz Aris."

What sashah Nisa suddenly\ suddenly want if ustaz Aris marry me. So easily he persuaded me. Thought I'd do what in honey.

"Stazah lives you two. Maybe, Ustaz Aris also want to talk about important things with you," said ustazah Nisa to get up from her seat.

"Where are you going?" ask me and get up from my seat. How could she tell me to talk to her husband.

It's boarding, and a lot of people are here. If she leaves me with her husband. The fear that seeing me and ustaz Aris will be slander.

"Ustazah wants to go back to the santriwati cottage. Later he returned," he said and left us both.

I'm very upset. And very upset and want to be angry. "Antum why silence from earlier," I said to ustaz Aris.

This time I saw ustaz Aris with a dislike face. I feel like bringing people. He was silent, and reluctant to speak. From then on he was just a loyal listener between his wife and me.

"What to say. Everything has been explained by Nisa's ustazah. Now the anti must think of every word that was uttered by zah Nisa," said ustaz Aris replied to me again.

"Antums. Antum it .. ana hates the same antum long ago. Antum does not know what, by way of wife antum biarin ana same antum here will cause slander. Antum long time kayak people****tau!" lantang. I can't hold back my anger anymore.

"Ana ****' because of anti," reply ustaz Aris again. The way to return my words is mediocre. He was not upset at all with my slightly irritated voice earlier.

"It hates antum!"

"Hate but love?" reply ustaz Aris again.

"Hate but love?" I repeat again with a face that starts to turn red and I want to get angry. "Ana never loved antum. Antum dreams that ana sampe loves a traitorous man like ..."

"Like .. ana." This time he cut my words. Our eyes met each other. We make sins. I quickly averted my eyes so as not to stare at him for long.

I set foot, intending to leave ustaz Aris. For me, it's just a waste of time if you serve every word. While my heart was starting to hurt, let alone having to remember the events first.

"If the anti doesn't love ana. Then the anti will never say if ana is a traitor."

In fact, my steps came to a halt when I heard the words from Ustaz Aris. My heart ached even more as he uttered such words. I turned around and went back to the man I hated and loved.

"Yes. Ana loves antum! but that was before. In fact, ana expects antum! but that was before," I said loudly by damming the clear crystals that had begun to accumulate in the eyes. In a moment, my cheeks will get wet. "Everything is first! antum never knew the pain she was feeling. Antum never knew!"

"Ana knows everything. And Ana understands the pain that is anti-feeling. Hence, ana wants to improve the relationship with the anti."

"Repairing what relationship? Fixing by antum forced to marry ana! Uh. Answer ustaz!" I said out loud again.

Clear crystal that I'm trying to dam. Finally fell down also wet my cheeks. Events once made me remember Lembali. If I may, I want to slap ustaz Aris as much as I can. But it never could.