A DEEP WOUND

Derren's Rage.

With repeated persuasion. My mother finally allowed me to go to Salsa's house. Still accompanied by a desire to work. I was hoping Salsa could help me find a job. All this time I've been bothering Mom a lot.

Even if you don't allow me to work, I'll still be determined. I have a reason why I don't want to go to college. Because I don't want to trouble you continuously.

 

Since getting out of the boarding house and going home. I never knew the atmosphere outside, because I prefer to stay at home. And this time, I saw the atmosphere of the city of Mataram again after a few months ago passed through it with a hollow and very painful heart.

 

After a few hours, we finally arrived at Salsa's house. And this time I had to trouble my best friend again to pick me up to take me to his house.

"Here, Da."

Salsa asked me to go into her room. As I nodded, I followed my best friend from behind. I am very lucky to know Salsa. Such a good friend and always worried if anything happened to me.

I confused? what should I repay his kindness with. All this time he always tried to give me support and spirit in any aspect of it.

"We rest first, yes, or ... antum eat first we just rest?" salsa asked who was still standing in front of me.

"We take a break first" I replied rather awkwardly.

"Antum why, Da? sit down first."

 

I just nodded and followed Salsa sitting on her bed. I'm like a confused person. Confused by my situation. I don't know what I should do. Will finding a job make things better? Or ... will you be more shocked and disappointed? Oh my God .. I am confused by all this.

 

"Manda. Manda ..."

"I .. yes, Sa."

"Antum why? What do you think, anyway?" salsa asked me fixedly.

"Ng .. no," I replied briefly again.

"Nothing like confused people thinking about something?"

"There really isn't, Sa."

"Hmmmm .. Yes, that's it."

 

Salsa left me for the bathroom. Perhaps, he wanted to clean himself up after a fairly long trip. I think like that, it took a few hours to reach the city of Mataram.

 

 

Humans never know what will happen in the future. So did I, who did not expect that it would be this fate. Allah has a sheet for every servant of his\-hamba. And this is .. the sheet that I have to accept and live. I never knew how my next trip would be.

 

But on the other hand, I was so disappointed in myself. The dream of being able to continue school in Cairo could not be realized. I will try to forget all my dreams first. I have to try hard for Mom. And ... opens a new leaf again. Forgetting the bitter events that ever happened to me.

******

 

The air was so cold this morning. The sun is shining. I sat down with my best friend Salsa in her backyard. Sitting back and enjoying the beautiful morning.

 

By serving tea that has been made by Mother Salsa. I sipped the warm tea slowly.

"Salsa," I turned to look at Salsa sitting near me.

"Yes" Salsa answered again looking at me.

"From now on don't call ana antum, yes,"

"Why indeed?" salsa asked, looking at me.

"Yaaaa no one. Just don't want to, we're not in the cottage anymore. Don't use that language anymore."

"Yes, from now on you don't call antum anymore. Call him Manda, you ... That's right?"

"Yes" I tried to smile in front of Salsa with a heavy heart.

"Oh yeah, you're looking for work?"

"So" I answered briefly.

"You've got a high school diploma, haven't you?"

"Yes. Emm .. if you can. Tomorrow or now, maybe you can get me a job, right, Sa?" ask me again with a sad face.

"Yes, we'll find work tomorrow. Now that you take a break, we just enjoy being together. 'We have never sat together like this for a long time."

"But .. I don't have long here, Sa."

"Why? tumben-tumbenan lo you home. Cook it as soon as you want to go back to North Lombok."

"Yaaaa what else. Kasian I'm alone at home, I can't stay here long."

"Da." Suddenly my best friend took my hand, "are you sure you want to find work? mean me?? Are you allowed to look for a job?"

 

I smiled at my best friend. Even though he didn't tell me about his worries. However, I could already read from the look on his face that he was worried and pitying. Maybe, but? because that's what I think.

 

"God willing I am sure, Sa."

"Did your mom say what you are?"

"Yaaa agrees" I replied hesitantly and somewhat nervously.

"Your mother didn't allow it. You don't have to lie, Da. For two years I've known you, I knew you were lying, Da."

 

Shut up and don't answer my best friend's words. I have to say especially me. He could read my face telling a lie. I'm afraid he won't help me find a job. The desire to work is already round. It will remain in the establishment.

 

Forgive Manda, Buk. Manda knows this is wrong! Manda can't be a good boy and be a proud child of Mom. I'm sure someday I'll pay for everything.

"Manda. Mandaic. Manda ..."

"I .. yes, Sa," I stammered.

"Why are you, anyway, daydreaming. From yesterday I noticed you daydreaming. I think of something that's hard for you to taste."

 

The delicate hand of a Salsa kept stroking this hand. The warmth I felt. How much he cared about me.

 

"I'm okay, you calm down. I'm just confused thinking about work so dreamy."

"Gini, yes, Da. From yesterday I noticed you daydreaming. Since coming home. Kayak face is not very good to see, Da? Wry, that's you, mah."

"Maybe it's just your feelings, Sa. I'm okay," I tried to forcefully smile.

"Hmmm, yeah, already. We'll get a job tomorrow, yeah. Tomorrow we will see Riko."

"Terusss you're not going to do that?"

"God willing, I'm coming, you're calm."

 

I also nodded in agreement with Salsa. Just wanted to make sure. Who knows, he won't come to look for work tomorrow.

I'm a little embarrassed and awkward if only accompanied by Riko. Unlike Salsa, we were so very familiar. Only he understands my current situation.