A DEEP WOUND

Window

 

The sky looks cloudy today. The sky was sad again. Kayak peng nangis that early in the morning. I tried to make a quick move to get to the store on time.

And thank God, I've arrived at the new store it's raining so heavily. As usual I tidied up some necessary stuff. Put some bread, and serve some customers who come to buy.

Not long after, when not too many Febi customers came to me. He seemed to be holding a bouquet of flowers. I smiled at him who was going to walk to see me.

This morning my coworker was already holding flowers. I don't know who gave her flowers.

"Manda."

"Hmm," I replied nodding my chin. Suddenly Febi handed me a bouquet of flowers and a muffin cake. "What's this?"

"Have you. Don't know from whom? That was the morning before you came here."

Flowers again. I tried to take a deep breath, looking back at the flower. The one in my mind ustaz Aris again.

Who else would send if not him. I tried to open the white paper from the sender.

[Assalamu'alaikum's chat. May anti-likes with ana giving. Sorry, ana can't string up a beautiful word for anti. Once again ana apologizes for any errors ana to anti. From from. M. Yaris]

And what I thought was true. From ustaz Aris again. I was confused by how I felt, either happy or worried about the gift he gave me.

 

Cook yes his wife knows I'm given flowers. This has been twice or three times. Is it possible that food delivered Sunday from him as well.

What do you want?? love this continuously. I thought I was a woman who wanted to be with someone's husband. My heart can't melt as easily as it used to.

"Manda. Manda .." reprimanded Febi who nudged my hand while still looking at the letter from Ustaz Aris.

"Hm."

"Seek dong for cake. It was so good, pein," said Febi near me.

 

Seeing such a face. I immediately gave all the muffins to my coworkers.

 

Actually, first look at my muffin cake drooling. Moreover, chocolate muffins, must be delicious. Because Ustaz Aris knows I like chocolate-smelling food.

I resisted my urge to eat it. After knowing that the cake from Ustaz Aris. Nafsuku feels lost. Not arrogant, just avoid the persuasion of him who continues to give food or flowers.

"All the flowers are for you, too" I said, handing Febi a bouquet of flowers that were putting in her mouth muffin cake.

Febi was surprised to see me thrusting flowers. He tried to swallow the cake to see me. "Well, everything for me. You are not sincere, yes, so love everything to me."

"Hm. No, no, I'm sincere. Be sincere instead," I said again and left Febi.

However, Febi stopped my steps again by pulling my wrist.

"Manda. Hold on first," said Febi pulling my hand.

I looked back again furrowing my eyebrows. "What else, anyway?" my many.

"Actually .. This is from whom, anyway, yesterday-yes there is also who love you the same flower cupcake. Now given flowers same muffin again. Continue ..."

"What is this ...? from the same guy?" febi asked looking back at me with a curious face. "I'm sorry, if I'm in?"

I was stunned to hear the question from Febi. Confused what to answer with that question. I tried to think calmly about how to avoid my workmate's question. "Ohhhh .. my stomach hurts, yes. Yes, you continue to eat the cake. I'll go to the bathroom first, yeah."

I tried to take a deep breath and then let it out violently. Fortunately, I was able to leave Febi's presence. If he continues to be near him he will increasingly ask this. There's no way I'm gonna have to tell him who gave me the flowers and the food.

Febi's people always want to know, even if you are told he will still ask continuously. His curiosity is so high. And that piece is too much.

 Sometimes I don't like his attitude like that, but I want to do it again. It's like his character, Kali.

******

When the clock shows five o'clock. I set foot to go back to the room. While walking home my phone rang indicating an incoming message.

Soon I took my phone in the bag.

[Assalamu'alaikum]

A message from ustaz Aris.

I tried to get back at him quickly mixed with resentment.

[Wa'alaikumsalam]

[When do you have time?] reply again.

I furrowed my brows at the message from ustaz Aris again. [What's up, huh? Why time is time. Meaning?]

[If there is anti time. Can we meet? There's something you want to talk about as anti.]

This time I could no longer hold back my anger. Fortunately, through messages. If ustaz Aris is in front of me. I want to scold her so much. What else did he ask to meet. I sent this, and I'll meet again. He was still single what ngajak met send flowers food.

[Previous ana apologizes equally, Ustaz. Antum from now on do not need to send flowers or food for ana. Because free! ana doesn't like it. I'm sorry that ana was presumptuous to say this is the same antum.]

[And .. antum do not ever expect ana will want to meet antum. Antum realized not the same what antum did to ana? Remember that! antum already has a wife, ana is unlikely to meet antum. Take care of antum's wife. If possible, never contact Anna again. Assalamu'alaikum.]

Two messages at once that I sent to ustaz Aris. I wish he could understand what I'm saying. If he keeps whistling hard bothers me again. It's been. I was confused by all that he meant.

The man who once lived in my heart. That was then, now no. Even though his name is still written in the deepest heart. However, I tried to immediately erase his name. Even though this is so hard for me to do.

After all, he was the first man to make my heart tremble. Which makes my heart feel comfortable first. I know what I call love too. That was. Now that the flavor was almost extinct, the name alone had faded in this heart. I'm sure, as time goes by. It will disappear by itself.

Because I realized he belonged to someone else.

Finally, I got to the front of the room. Immediately I opened my boarding door by taking the key that was in the bag. Not long after, my phone rang again. It turns out that one more message came in from ustaz Aris.

[Ana knows. Anti is very difficult to forgive ana. Even though anti said to have forgiven ana and ana's family. Ana will be waiting for you. Until anti wants to meet with ana. Remember that! it is not good to harbor feelings. Don't lie to yourself. Because it hurts so much, Manda. Ana knows, that. Because ana feels anti still have feelings of affection for ana. Assalamu'alaikum.]

I clenched my phone hard when I read the reply from ustaz Aris. My feelings that once appeared again. All the memories I have to remember again. I try to sit on the side of my bed. Trying not to shed tears. But in fact, my tears rolled down my cheeks.

My chest feels tight when I remember the memories I had with him. My heart ached even more when I remembered the humiliation from her parents. What exactly is God's plan for me??