A DEEP WOUND

Feel Good

"Ana hates the same antum" I said and sat crying face to face. "Antum does not know the pain that ana felt so difficult to cure."

"Wake, Manda. Ana's sorry, same anti. If anti wants, marry ana. Ana wants to fix the same mistake she did anti."

I woke up again wiping my tears. No way, I have to wait for ustaz Aris to drive me to wake up. We are not mahrom. I never did, either.

"Keep, mak-sud antum to get married. Want to be your second wife?" ask me with doubt.

"Hm. What's wrong, if you're a second wife. Is anyone banned?" ask ustaz Aris back to me.

"Will not be a second wife. I don't like polygamy. If antum divorce same zah Nisa still ana will be a second wife."

 

I feel like a fool and tears can't be laid off. My tears just flowed down my cheeks.

 

"What does anti-want continue? There is nothing wrong with being a second wife. In Islam, it is not forbidden for a man to have more than one wife. As long as he mam ..."

 

When ustaz Aris explained about having more than one wife. Suddenly some of the students passed by. They saw us who were chatting.

I looked over and was stunned to see the santriwati. Instead of being a slander, I decided to just leave.

 

"Ana has to go back to the room, Ustaz. Assalamu'alaikum," I said, then stepped away from the front of ustaz Aris. Before I go far, I look a little. "Antum does not need to explain polygamy. Ana knows. It's just, ana doesn't like the one called polygamy."

 

Hopefully there is no slander between my meeting with ustaz Aris. I just looked down when I passed a couple of santriwati who saw me earlier. I don't know what they're thinking. The point is, I'll never care what they say now.

Arriving at the room, I saw Febi tidying up some of her clothes. I just realized we were going home this afternoon. And of course I'll go back to the boarding house and work as usual.

I feel grateful, finally able to leave this boarding school. At least, I don't see ustaz Aris anymore. Sometimes, I was always confused, somehow God always brought us together. Maybe I'll marry someone who already has a wife.

What happens if I become a second wife? Does not hurt if you see the husband will be the same first wife. Na'uzubillah that. I hope all of this will never happen to me.

 

"Eh, how come you're dumb. Why?" febi asked, frowning, looking at me.

"Hm. There is nothing, really," I replied again and approached Febi who put some of her clothes in.

"You ... where did you end up, really, really long?"

"And chat with ustazah Nisa and ustaz Aris," replied me again who sat by the bed.

After Febi put all her clothes in. He sat near me looking like a strange look, I think.

"So that woman is Nisa's ustazah?"

I answered my friend. "Why indeed?"

"Nothing is." Febi scratched a little of his head. Either the head is really itchy or not. It's just, if I look at Febi like I'm thinking about something. "What are you talking about?"

Tuh. He's kepo again. I've guessed, it seems he was curious about my conversation with ustaz Aris and his wife.

"Kok you diem, anyway, Da?" febi asked again patting the back of my hand.

"Nothing. We're just talking about something ordinary."

"Ordinary thing? you mean?"

"Hm. No, you don't want them." I got up from my seat. There's no way I'm gonna have to tell Febi about my conversation with ustaz Aris and zah Nisa. Let her be curious.

"But tight," sewot Febi. "What's wrong, yeah, if I'm nanya?"

"Yes, no, it's just not important for us to talk about." I then took the bag to be ready to go back to the boarding house. I pray that I may not return to this boarding school.

"But .. I was curious? the problem is I've been horrified ..."

Cklek.

"Assalamu'alaikum." It turned out that Erin's ustazah had suddenly come to open the door. Not knocking on the door first, it made me and Febi shocked.

"Wa-wa'alaikumsalam, Zah," I replied. Fortunately, Erin came. Febi did not continue with her question. He seemed, very curious. But, I'm curious about the continuation of the sentence as well. What did he hear, huh?

Ustazah Erin then went in and sat down near Febi. I just looked down to clean up things that do not need to be cleaned actually. Now, what else am I gonna hear.

Did with ustazah Erin come suddenly\all without knocking on the door first want to ask me something else.

"So you're leaving this afternoon?" ask us Erin.

"Yes, Bik" replied Febi.

"Can't you guys stay here any longer. Tomorrow night there's an event at the lodge. Bibik thought you were going home tomorrow?"

"No, Bik. We also have to work. Kan Bibik know, Febi with Manda work. This time, we add one day off without asking permission first to the boss." Febi answered Erin's ustazah. I who heard only silence and reluctant to listen to the chatter between the nephew and his aunt.

******

Once everything is ready. Finally Febi and I decided to go back to Erin's home.

While waiting for Febi who was still chatting with Erin's ustazah. I saw from a distance like ustaz Aris and ... Mr. Kyai.

Where are they going? The more they stepped, the closer I saw them. My heart started beating irregularly.

Are they going to Erin's house. If I meet Mr. Kyai, he will tell me more.

No-no. Don't come here for them. "Febri. Ayokk," I said with an anxious face.

"Just a minute. My aunt wants to get us something. Who knows if we will love him" Febi replied to me.

My hands are starting to tremble. I feel wrong. When I saw ustaz Aris and Abinya getting closer. Undoubtedly, they did want to go to Erin's house. I feel resigned if I have to meet again with Mr. Kyai.

"Febb. Scribbles!" I said again pressing the sound.

"Oh Allah, Manda. Dare what. It's also five o'clock." Febi frowned looking at me. "You why, heck, his face is like an anxious person thinking what."

If only I had a motor. Maybe I've left my coworker. I want to see when I have to wait. Meanwhile, Erin's ustazah isn't out\-out. What was taken, anyway, until that long.