A DEEP WOUND

Mala and the genk

There was a theater in the hall of the cottage, and I was also chosen to take part in drama rehearsals.

I was also selected to fill the welcoming event Mudir (Head of school) who just returned home umrah.

Dramatic training is taught by ustaz Aris and ustazah Nisa. I was told to play the role of the protagonist, telling about santriwati who married her teacher or ustaznya. Me and the other santri were practicing drama in the hall of the cottage.

“My parents ... do not approve of our relationship.” My dialogue while doing drama.

“I will try to convince your parents,” replied one of my friends again, a santriwati acting as a man.

“Whatever hard you try to melt my parents' hearts, they will never agree.”

“Then, what if we just get married. After we get married, we'll tell your parents.”

“No! none of this is for us to continue. And what you teach is not true!” I started crying with my drama. “Sorry, for all my decisions this.” I got off running from the stage after the dialogue was over.

When the drama was over, Ustaz Aris approached me. In fact, I was already getting nervous when he approached.

I tried to set my sights on him, who might want to greet him. However, my guess was wrong.

When we passed by, without a word he did not greet me. I thought I would be greeted by him it didn't happen.

“Yoohhh ... Abi,” is heard behind me the voice of ustaz Aris greeting her Abinya.

Then I immediately turned around, seeing him shake his ashes. Who else if not Mudir, the headmaster at the boarding school.

I was wrong again, and wrong again. The big smile I saw was not for me but for her own Abinya.

I was just thinking, maybe I was too hopeful and too baper because often teased by my best friend Salsa. So you should always hope.

Is this what we call love? I thought everything was just a dream, everything Salsa alleged could never have happened. And that's my belief.

Ever since that incident, I've been trying to ignore Salsa's insults who thought that Ustaz Aris liked me.

When the drama rehearsal was over, I went back to the santriwati cottage.

While in my room I lay my body on the bed. Trying to close your eyes so as not to see the ceiling of the room.

Whatever way I can sleep. But, still, these eyes cannot be closed. The uneasiness I felt since seeing Aris smile from a distance started to disturb my mind. The big smile that was just for her Abinya was not for me. Why am I upset? I was confused by my own feelings.

“Manda,” Salsa came near me while lying on the bed.

“Hmm, what!” in a slightly irritated voice, I replied Salsa.

“Judes really, anyway?” Salsa scratched her mouth in annoyance at my loud voice.

“Hmm,”

“Antum don't want to give anything? Something from ustaz Aris to antum.”

I who had been indifferent to Salsa, then shocked immediately when I heard the name of Ustaz Aris. Pleasure, worry, being mixed, thinking about things that did not happen. Confusion kept surrounding my mind and I kept wondering for myself.

Why do I feel so happy when I hear his name. Is this a feeling of love? All my life, this is the first time I've ever felt happy hearing a man's name.

At that time Salsa invited me to the bathroom, I saw a parcel that my best friend was hiding. Salsa said the parcel to me, making me even more curious.

“Why aren't we in the room, anyway, Sa?” I whispered to Salsa.

“If we open in the room, afraid of other friends? Antum ‘kan tau, our friends to all.” Salsa began to sing her mouth in front of me. “Udah, antum open aja.”

Without having to wait for long I began to open the parcel that turned out from Ustaz Aris. A neatly wrapped box made curiosity appear to me and Salsa. Once opened by me, it turns out that the contents are a khimar. Khimar is an Arabic word that means hijab.

“Yes Allah, Salsa. This is actually from ustaz Aris?” ask me again by flipping the khimar. “I can't believe it feels?”

“Ohh .. my good, Khimar! Salsa was shocked to see the contents of the parcel.

“This is really from ustaz Aris?”

“Not really? yes yes, really from ustaz Aris! Also why lie in antum.” Salsa answered me with annoyance.

The Khimar given to me was not an ordinary khimar but a great khimar. Questions began to come to my mind again. Ustaz Aris suddenly gave me the gift of hijab even more confused.

What possible? Salsa's guess is true, or it may not be. But ... why did he give me the gift of khimar.

“Manda, just a moment. How is the letter?” salsa said she found the letter in the box. I snatched it from Salsa's hand and read the letter. When I opened the letter, I felt trembling to read it.

[Assalamu’alaikum, Manda. May God always protect you. Afwan, if ana gives this gift for anti. Ana hopes anti likes it, and ana begs. Do not let anyone know about what love is equally anti. Take care of your health, right? Do not get sick, ana does not want to see anti-pain. Assalamu’alaikum warahmatullah hiwabarokatuh.]

That's what Ustaz Aris wrote for me.

In a stuffy, quiet, quiet room, Salsa also accidentally becomes a silent witness about the gifts and letters that Aris ustaz gave me. I still feel disbelief. Is this just a dream for me to feel.

Even though he did not express his love directly. However, the gifts and letters from him made me even more confused and clueless.

The letter is very short. What possible?? Aaahhh no, no, Ustaz Aris can't possibly have a taste for me. But ... if not? What does it mean he gave khimar to me.

A mixed sense of happiness of not believing whether or not I was given a khimar by my own ustaz.

“Do not daydream, this is the bathroom, Manda.” Salsa broke my daydreams and nudged my shoulders slightly.

“No, but ana was just surprised. Cook yes this gift ustaz Aris.” I looked at Salsa with a face full of confusion.

“Ngaktau also ustaz antum,” says Salsa again. “We're back to the room, yukk?”

 

Leaving the bathroom that was also a witness when Salsa and I opened the gift parcel from Ustaz Aris. Although with a face of disbelief, but I am grateful for the first time given khimar by a man.

 

******

 

Welcomed with fine rain stubs. The cold atmosphere is gradually exhaled by the wind slowly.

 

Not as usual.

Every night the sisters gather to study after dinner. However, tonight all the students are studying in the room. The rain slowly grew bigger.

 

 

“Takkk ...,” the sound of the table being struck by Salsa who was in front of me. “Antum why alone here? Antum ngelamun. Tomorrow remember, there's a repeat!”

“Ana, tauk!” I replied with an annoyed voice.

“Antum not dapet story, if the holidays later ustaz Aris want to return to Cairo.” Salsa opened the book and turned it back.

“Ahh ... cook, anyway? Where does Antum get the info? how can you not know.”

“Round in ustaz Aris, direct spirit 75 expression antum.” Salsa raised the corner of her right lip upwards.

“Kok ana don't know,” I said again.

What I was daydreaming about, was suddenly upset with Salsa bothering me. Now I changed my sitting position to look up at Salsa near me.

“How can antum know?? antum work every day day day daydreaming. There are kuntilanak hanging in front aja not antum tau.” Salsa scratched his head. “Quietly, ustaz Aris kemarim it to Jakarta. That's why it's never been seen, but ..?”

When Salsa discussed ustaz Aris, a car passed in front of us. The car was none other than a Mudir. Mudir picked up ustaz Aris who had just returned from Jakarta. I saw the car door open, down a man who was the figure of Ustaz Aris. The person I admire at the moment.

I was still sitting near Salsa, putting two hands on the table. My eyes were fixed on him without blinking. So also ustaz Aris who had a smile when he saw me with Salsa. I try to quickly divert and keep my eyes.

 

Because of the rain, Ustaz Aris ran to the santri putra cottage to shelter. Even if not directly. His smile was enough to relieve my anxiety. Could the seeds of love be planted in this heart? After seeing ustaz Aris, I invited Salsa to return to the room.

Just as we were about to return to our room, a voice called out my name from behind.

 

“Man ... Manda.”

I looked back when I heard someone calling my name. Seen, Ustaz Aris waved his hand while giving a code that he told me to go to him.

“Salsa, here!” I said to take Salsa to ustaz Aris. We approached him and found another parcel given to me. No need to think for long, I immediately asked ustaz Aris, what he gave me.

“This what, Ustaz?” my many.

“Anti just go back to the room, then open there.”

I just nodded to answer it too. Afraid that a friend would ask, Salsa and I waited for Aris to leave first. We then opened the parcel containing a meal such as bread and drinks. Salsa immediately unpacked the contents of the parcel. I just shake my head when I see my best friend's behavior. Because of the love of snacks, Salsa increasingly match me with ustaz Aris. That's the basis of my friend.

We are so very happy. And when we were busy choosing snacks and sharing them together. One of the students came closer.

“Yaaa .. ukhti Manda sama ukhti Salsa, why here?” ask the class.

“Mmm... nothing, just sit down," Salsa replied slightly indifferently responding to the class sister who asked.

On the other hand, Salsa and I were engrossed in eating the snacks given by Ustaz Aris.

“Oath! really good?” Salsa eat the cake.

Unconsciously, there was a letter tucked away.

“There's another letter, Da?” salsa told me.

I just nodded in agreement with Salsa, and I began to open the letter.

[Assalamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wabarokatuh, may Princess Manda ana always be healthy and always protected by Allah swt. Afwan, ana just sent another letter to antum. Ana deliberately loves this food, to prove that Ana does not want to see anti-sickness and hunger. Hehe ... joking, hopefully this letter will be answered. Ana wants to be honest, since she first saw anti. I don't know why I want to know anti any further. Ana feels anti that different from other santriwati. His quiet and intelligent, shy and beautiful anti makes the heart want to be close to Imanda Ramdhani. Honestly, Ana wants to get to know anti even closer. Need anti-tau, eyes feel unable to blink when looking anti for the first time. If you can ustaz want to know far more later. May the anti also reciprocate the feelings of Ustaz anti himself. Remember that! keep your health.]

That was the contents of the second letter from ustaz Aris that was able to make me smile\-smile myself.

Salsa was engrossed in eating cake, not caring about me smiling at myself reading the letter. The contents of the letter made me even more confused and kept wondering. Maybe he likes me. That's all that always comes to mind. Or a teacher's attention to his students?

Which makes me wonder more and more about all the words\-words in the letter. I still can't believe it if he likes me.

That night, when the rain slowly stopped. I etched the ink on a pink sheet of paper. Replying to Aris's letter that night was accompanied by my best friend Salsa. Reply to the letter by writing it word for word was all I knew about, without Salsa asking me what I was writing.

“Sa, ana ask for help with antum. Please, tomorrow please give this letter to ustaz Aris.” I then give the letter to Salsa.

“OK,” reply Salsa.

“But, be careful, lest any friends see or suspect.”

“Oke .. just relax, serahin sama ana. The matter is set all tomorrow," Salsa said confidently as she blinked one eye.

I'm the one who talks and eats with Salsa. Without us realizing one of the ustazah came to rebuke us

“Anti doing here,” reprimand ustazah Maesaroh.

“Eehh, Ustazah.” I watched Maesaroh's ustazah greet us.

“Ngot doing coca, Zah," replied Salsa again.

“Jam so far why haven't you slept?”ask ustazah Maesaroh again.

When I was about to answer Salsa immediately stood straight in front of Maesaroh's ustazah.

“This we want to sleep, Zah.” Again Salsa tried to smile in front of Ustazah. By encouraging the food provided by Ustaz Aris. Salsa pushed him with her left leg so that the ustazah would not see the food.

“We finished studying earlier, Zah.” I answered again who was standing near Salsa.

“Oouhhhh .. yes already, anti go in there, sleep. Tomorrow ‘can there be a repeat, this hour why haven't you slept.” Ustazah Maesaroh then left us.

“Haduuhh .. fortunately, he did not see the food."

******

The next day, all the students entered the classroom. Where the day was repeated. Ustazah also shared the matter of repetition with other santriwati.

“Salsa, sntum already love that guy?” I asked Salsa to look back.

“What? love what?” answer Salsa again.

“Letter!”

“Oouuhh .. Yes, just now, just relax. Beres mah everything,” replied Salsa by blinking her eyes.

I took a breath and exhaled softly. A sense of happiness that I cannot express with the word\-word.