A DEEP WOUND

Fraya Confession

"So, you've never dated?"

"Hm."

"If deket same guy, ever?" ask Febi again curious about me. Look at the look on his face, like people want to get important information. Kepo is a person.

"Either."

"Who?"

"Ustaz," I replied spontaneously. Tu right, I'm the one if asked, surely will answer that. Nyerocos is the mouth.

"Huh. Ustaz?" Started, his mouth mangap the Febi, usually just try. "Ustaz who?"

"That's a hell of a thing, Feb. It can't be if you just a lot of it. Let this not be all," I lamented with a snort.

"If I don't go. No detailed information from you."

"What a need, yes, do you know about me personally?" I looked at him annoyed.

You think try, man like me who's covered in gini. Kesel must have asked this. I don't like being smashed!

"Yes. Need. You are my friend. So, if there's anything I can help you."

 

If you reply again. Talk about long at length. Males really ladenin Queen kepo kayak Febi. Not very. Fortunately, a coworker, if not a coworker, I would not want to hang out with him.

I'm trying to break up near Febi. Without asking him to talk again. Watching TV is better than the bad news that is not there. Talk shows or news shows are more interesting than watching soap operas. I'd rather watch action movies than soap operas. Especially about dating, there is no more value.

My phone rang when my eyes started to close. At first I did not open. However, out of curiosity. I said the phone was near my pillow.

 

[Assalamu'alaikum, Netherlands. Can we meet tomorrow?]

A message came in from Nisa's ustazah.

Makes my eyes turn straight. I hesitated to reply, but my fingers were itching if I didn't reply to Aris's old wife.

[Wa'alaikumsalam, Zah. God willing, Zah. If you know what's going on, right?]

My reply.

[We'll see you first. Tomorrow I'll tell you, yes.]

 

I don't reply anymore. Just curious, he suddenly asked to meet again. Is it possible that he would run me over because he was told by Aris's ustaz? Heh. If I get hit, I meet him in a public place. Could end my history. Haduh .. no no.

 

Okay, Manda's sleeping. Don't think about it anymore!

******

Next day. After thinking for a long time. Finally, I agreed to meet with Nisa's ustazah. Honestly, I doubt I'll meet him. The persuasion many\-times made me crumble. Until he agreed to his word.

Five o'clock in the afternoon, as usual when I get home from work. That's the time I asked Nisa's ustazah if she wanted to see me. At that time, we met at a cafe. The cafe is not too far from my place of work.

Arriving at the cafe I've seen ustazah Nisa sitting alone. Maybe, he's been waiting a long time. My feelings don't taste good. I tried to take a deep breath, then throw it rough.

My prayer is that hopefully nothing happens between my meeting and Nisa's ustazah. I walked slowly while breathing too. Not wanting to look nervous or anxious.

"Assalamu'alaikum, Zah," I said from behind Nisa's ustazah while holding the tip of my headscarf.

"Wa'alaikumsalam," he answered smiling widely. He was so happy to see me coming. That's what I think, but. "Here sit down first."

"Who are you here with?" tanyakanya.

"Self, Zah," I answered briefly. "Ustazah, been waiting?"

"Hm. No, I just recently came."

"Ustazah take a taxi here?" ask again. Why should I talk like this, Dad. I can't see if she's sitting sweet.

"No. Take Mudir's car."

I shut up for a moment to hear Nisa's ustazah. As far as I know, he can't drive. Now it turns out he can drive too.

"The diploma can drive?"

"Yes. Da."

"Who taught you to drive, Zah?"

"Ustaz Aris," replied Nisa's ustazah while drinking her juice.

Deg. Instantly this heart felt bad for him. I try not to think no. In fact, there is no harm if she was taught driving by her own husband. Why should I be hurt??

I try to get myself to sit back. Sometimes tidying up my hijab that is either messy or not. I want to quickly go back to the cost. Long enough ustazah Nisa busy with her own phone. He doesn't know what. I'd be pissed if I just sat like this.

Actually, what did he want to bring me here?

"Eh. Mandaic. Sorry, yeah, ana busy herself maen hape. Ana forgot even though it was the same anti," said Nisa's ustazah while putting the phone in her bag.

Basic emang. Cook yes he can forget my presence in front of him. What's needed, anyway. I must be invited to meet.

"Manda."

"Yes. Zah." Zah." I looked at Nisa's ustazah. And he also looked back at me.

"Sorry, before. If ustazah has an anti-meet." Now he holds my hand. Handled it. It seems, there is a want. That's how I feel.

"It's okay, Zah. If you can know, why would I invite you to meet like this?" many doubt.

"The department can ask?"

I nodded slowly giving the code yes.

"You still have no feelings, same ustaz A-Aris?"

Heh. Obviously, Nisa's obsequious question made my heart beat fast. Suddenly asked how I felt about her husband?

I took off the hand of Nisa's ustazah and lowered my hand. I looked at him fixedly. "You mean, Ustazah?

"Marry ustaz Aris."

Nisa's ustazah words pierced this heart. How could he say such a thing. Is he aware of his words?

"What do we mean?" I frowned. My hands feel cold hearing all the words of Nisa's ustazah.

"He loves anti. Marry him" said Ustazah Nisa memelas.

My mouth feels stiff. What answers should I give. "Us-usta-zah is his wife. What do wetazah mean? Why did Zah Nisa tell ana to marry her own ustazah husband?" many confused.

"Anti know what happened first. We got married because we were married. Although many times ana tried to open the heart ustaz Aris. Still anti is still in the heart of ustaz Aris. He is good, he is trying to be a good husband. However, during the household. Ana knows she's still very hard to forget about anti."

"Where do you know that Ustaz Aris is hard to forget ana?" I try to keep my own breath.

"He was often daydreaming. In fact, he often dreams. Mengigo called the name anti. But, ana never rebuked him. If he happens to mention the name anti during sleep. Ustazah could wake him up. Honestly, ana loves ustaz Aris, Manda. Ana wants to see her happy even if it's a way to marry you both."

I see clearly. Tears just flowed down her cheeks. My heart feels tight to hear all the words of Nisa's ustazah.

I'm speechless. And don't know what to answer. How can I marry a man who already has a wife. I'm a woman, even though Nisa's ustazah told me to marry her husband. It would be very painful for him to feel.

I try to take a deep breath every once in a while looking up. So that the tears that have flowed in the eyes do not fall just like that.

Oh Allah .. help me.