A DEEP WOUND

Scratches

I don't know what I feel. This heart's all over, sick, tight. Tears want to flow. What is right in front of me is him. O Allah .. Who is in front of me?

That day, unintentionally. I had to meet again with a man whose face was so shady. When God had to meet us unintentionally. Yesa ... holiday that time, with Salsa and Kak Riko make me have to meet the man who was once part of my life story. The man I hate and love.

Why should we meet? her gaze? Her eyes?? with a heart so sick and so tight. I averted my eyes and quickly wanted to leave in front of the traitorous man.

"Manda. Ma .. sorry," said Ustaz Aris after accidentally spilling ice on my shoulder.

All I did was shut up and refused to say a word.

"Ustaz Aris," said Salsa near me.

Salsa came to me. With a nervous face, I could not deny how devastated I felt when I saw him again.

"They. Ayoookkk left," Salsa withdrew my hand, and invited to quickly leave in front of Ustaz Aris.

It was possible, Salsa understood about my feelings back then. I also obeyed him to leave in front of Ustaz Aris. I think I want to cry. And hit.

Why didn't it take long we had to be found again. What's all this mean??

"Manda ... Manda ..." whose voice calls again if not Ustaz Aris who keeps calling me.

 

I went even faster with Salsa. And ... My steps finally came to a halt, as he confronted me.

 

"Ana want to talk about something anti?" xtaz Aris said to me.

It was so hard to open my mouth to answer her words. Well, my mouth feels locked. In fact, just look at it like I'm not. Just staying down and being quiet is all I do.

"Manda. Ana wants to talk about the same anti-important thing? can't do that?"

"Can't!"

A voice answered Ustaz Aris and he was Riko. I was just looking down, seeing Riko approaching us.

"Manda has to go home. And he has no chance to talk about anything that is not-no" replied Kak Riko with a slightly dislike tone. "Manda. Haush ..."

 

My hands. Well, my hand was held by Riko. With whose permission he dared to hold my hand. I fell silent and followed him to quickly\-quickly leave from before Ustaz Aris. With such circumstances, I had to refrain from my anger as well as Brother Riko who held my hand tightly.

 

We walked to the car, and soon I'll be escorted home for sure. Still with an uncertain feeling.

"Mmmm .. sorry, yes, just now," said Riko turned my head while driving.

"Sorry for what, brother?" askaku.

"I'm sorry, because .." Kak Riko's words suddenly came to a halt as Salsa swept from behind.

"Why could it? Ustaz Aris met us earlier. Keep ... he use call you all over again, Da. What does it mean try."

 

I just kept quiet and didn't answer my best friend's question. I also do not know what Ustaz Aris for to pursue and call my name. Maybe he wanted to apologize or not? I don't know??

 

"Udah. Don't mention it again, Kasian'kan, Manda," Riko told Salsa.

"You know, Da. When you are sick, when you are unconscious. In fact, Ustaz Aris once asked you to go to the hospital. But ..."

"Udahlah, Sa. Don't discuss it anymore" Riko replied to Salsa. And Salsa did not continue his words.

I was shocked to hear Salsa's explanation. Meanin?? Ustaz Aris used to look for me at the hospital. But ... Why don't you ever tell me?

"Nothing, Da."

"Nothing, anyway, answered, Sa?" my question is full of confusion.

"Not really," Salsa answered me like she was hiding something.

Why you never told me. Why Ustaz Aris is looking for me. Does he want to apologize to me?

But ... on the other side of my heart that once loved that shady face. Now I have to see him with his wife again. And honestly, my heart hurts so much. At the meeting on the beach, I saw his wife sitting down. Who else if not Ustazah Nisa. It feels like anger, disappointment, and only God knows about pain that words cannot express.

******

"Manda."

"Yes, Buk."

I turned around, when Mom called me from behind.

"Mom want to ask you something?"

"Yes, Buk. What do you want to ask?" I sat on my bed and Mom sat down next to me. His face was starting to scare me.

What do you want to ask? His gaze and the look on his face .. I know him very well. He will ask something that is not ordinary.

"What were you doing at home, Salsa?"

"Nothing, Buk. We had a vacation, and ..."

"And what?" ask my mother again.

My mouth was closed when I remembered meeting Ustaz Aris. That time, I had a chance to ask Mom. That, Ustaz Aris came to visit me when I was in the hospital.

"You want to ask me something too, Mother?" I stared at the blind woman I loved so much. I tried to ventured to discuss the man who had stopped in my heart. "Is it true Ustaz Aris ever visited Manda to the hospital, Buk?"

"What's? Ustaz Aris?? Why are you talking about Ustaz Aris again?"

"Javab, Manda, Buk. When Manda was unconscious, Ustaz Aris had been here to visit Manda, right!"

"If Mom says yes. What do you want, Manda? You want to find Ustaz Aris again! Do you dream of marrying her again? aaaa!!"

"No. No, Buk. Manda did not wish. Because what do. Manda just wanted to know, why when I realized I didn't tell her she was singing Manda!"

This time my voice was a little loud in front of my mother. After Mother also came out loud to say when I discussed Ustaz Aris.

I know Mom doesn't like it. Especially since I've been insulting. I really don't like it when I discuss the boarding school, let alone Ustaz Aris.

"Eat him, I asked you! If you know he's ever been looking for you here. What do you want, Da?" Mother's voice weakened asking me.

"Manda ... Manda was confused, Buk. Holiday time with Salsa and Riko. Accidentally met her," I lowered my head to answer Mom.

"Certain ... Is he approaching you? What else did he say?"

"Nothing, Buk. I stood back to my back, my mother. Cuman .. said he wanted to talk about something. But ... Manda avoids it."

"Mom will tell you. Your time at Salsa's. Ustaz Aris came here looking for you. Mom's wondering, let alone her looking for you, son."

"What! He's here, Buk?"

"Yes" answered my mother.

"Keep ... What did he say?"

"none. He came home when he knew you weren't home. I want to sleep first, I'm lazy to discuss Ustaz you are."

I was silent when Mom was hiding something. Which he doesn't seem to want to tell me. I'm sure, Ustaz Aris must have had a purpose so he could have turned me home.

I also thought about the meaning of Ustaz Aris. Actually, what he wanted to say. No no, I should forget about him. He already has a wife, I have to be aware of that. Help me forget god. Don't torment me with this erratic feeling.