A DEEP WOUND

Aya, Awan and Taufik

The wind was blowing pretty hard. Until I had to take a jacket covering my body. In this weather, Ustazah ordered the sisters to gather. And inevitably we have to follow orders.

Where all the santriwati are told to gather and march. I also focused on hearing the announcement from Ustazah Anisa. On the other hand, you also have to hear the words of friends about me that are not-no.

And I was quite surprised to hear their words.

“Maybe, the intention is not school. So it is the same injustice Ustaz Aris,” said one of the santriwati who spoke near me.

I don't know who they mean. Do they mean me or Ustazah Nisa?

The point is disturbed to hear their words like that. They called the school. Did i? I can't be seuzon! Maybe someone else they mean.

Who had heard the announcement. Now I have to hear the words that hurt me to hear. I tried not to be offended, and thought maybe I wasn't the one I meant.

“Yes, the intention is to find a soul mate. So beautiful, like people really hope to marry Pak Kyai's son. Though 'right, Ustaz Aris said he wanted to be in a match with Ustazah Nisa.” Sometimes the santriwati giggled near me. Their words made my heart feel scratched.

 

After the announcement is completed. The sisters returned to the room. I also quickly returned to my room. Hearing the words of a friend like that made my heart feel sliced.

 

What do they mean. What he meant was me. Do all the residents in this cottage already know the relationship between me and Ustaz Aris? Oh my god .. I'm scared.

Once in the room, all eyes were on me. By looking at me so strangely. I feel uncomfortable and uncomfortable.

I tried to lower my head to the closet, and now I open the closet. Salsa also came to pull my hand from behind, to invite out. For the umpteenth time he came at the right time.

“Why antum hand pull ana?” ask me to Salsa.

“I want to tell you something, we talk outside.” Salsa asked me to sit in Musalla. Because in Musalla there is no one who will disturb.

“Antum already know about the rumors circulating in this cottage,” said Salsa sitting closer beside me.

“Gossip, what?” I asked with a curious face.

“Santriwati already knows a lot about the relationship between Antum and Ustaz Aris. And not the relationship that happened in reality that was rumored.” Salsa looked towards the window, afraid that anyone would hear her talk with me.

My heart felt like it was going to fall off hearing Salsa. All my friends know. What will happen to me?

“In reality, antum mean what?”

“Yaa, ana means that antum in saying women are not real. He said hypocritical woman! even antum in said dream that same Ustaz Aris.”

Salsa told me everything like she was struck by lightning.

 

My feet don't feel like they're stepping on the ground. What I heard this.

 

“Means, what did you hear earlier that was really?” I asked again, looking at Salsa.

“Tadi, ana listen, Nadia same friend nyindir-nyindir that. They did not mention the name of the woman who said beauty. Anyway he said no school, but find a soul mate. And they also said that there would be no way that woman was a match with Ustaz Aris. So, that's all he meant, ana?” I looked into Salsa's eyes asking meaningfully. I can't even hold water anymore.

My net can't hold back anymore. I try not to wet my cheeks. However, clear water flowed profusely wet my cheeks.

“Yes, that's all real. What I mean is, antum!!” salsa told me.

I was trying to patiently hear Salsa tell me about the gossip going around. The pain I could not get through the words about all the ugliness I was accused of was really painful.

"Why? Why God, I must meet Ustaz Aris. What happened to me. I should have focused on school. Why should I have a sense with the child leader of the boarding school where I went to school. What would I have done, if you knew. Will he be disappointed in me?" I'm scolding you near Salsa. I even cried near my best friend.

"Manda. You have to beat me up. You relax. Don't think the no-no. Don't think of anything that hasn't happened."

"I can't be calm, Sa. What the other friend said was overdue. I'm afraid that if mom finds out later. Though my intentions and Ustaz Aris are good. We'll tell you later, if the time is right. And he also promised to marry me" I looked at Salsa still in tears.

"Yes, Da. Ana knows. Ana knows all that. Now antum hand it all over to god. God must have a beautiful plan for antum. Just go through everything with time."

I hugged Salsa tightly. My hands clenched tightly. My mind is no longer. I don't know what rumors will be circulating about me later.

******

A few days later, when the learning process was over. I write down all the questions that surround my mind.

[Assalamu’alaikum warahmatullohhi wabarokatuh. Ana apologized earlier, Ustaz. Ana first sent a letter to Antum. Honestly, Ana is too tired with all the talk about us. Gotta get to when Ustaz. It used to be the intention of the school here to explore knowledge. But somehow God brought us together. The seeds of love grow among us. Ana just wanted to say, please from now on don't bother Ana anymore. Ana wants to focus on school, Ustaz. Afwan, it is better to continue the antum relationship with Ustazah Anisa. Because there are many who have heard that antum will be betrothed. Please stay away, Ustaz. Maybe this way it will fix things. Assalamu’alaikum, Ustaz.]

This is the only letter I wrote to Ustaz Aris.

I whispered Salsa to give Ustaz Aris the letter. A letter about all the questions that are always present in my mind.

“This was thanks to Ustaz Aris?” I asked Manda who was standing in front of the class, where it was just the two of us.

“Iya, cook someone else,” I replied breathing.

“Ya. Later we will find there Ustaz Arisnya.”

“Search where?” ask me in wonder.

“Ituh, in the bushes!” salsa replied with her disheveled face looking at me.

I chuckled at Salsa talking like that. Salsa also giggled to see me laughing.

“Antum guess Ustaz Aris what snake, trus should be in search in bushes.” I still chuckle in front of Salsa.

“Ya slender, antum even nanya-nanya all. In fact, right, antum tau usually ana should wait for him in the cafeteria first. Just met, already know nanya.” Salsa embraced my hand to invite the Zuhr prayer together in musalla.

“Antum is funny too,” I said when going to Musalla.

“Ana seneng look antum laugh, Da. Antum do not be too dreamy, do not think about all the rumors circulating.”

“Already! don't talk about it anymore, we just take the water first. Ayookk,” I avoided discussing my relationship with Ustaz Aris. I don't want to think about anything that's not. The school was very disturbed because of something like this.