A DEEP WOUND

Play To Ragil's House

The sound of leaves being tickled by the wind. Accompany my solitude during the day. After eating, I chose to sit alone under the trees near the classroom.

Only alone, with no one\-who bothers. I opened a letter from Ustaz Aris.

[Assalamu’alaikum warahmatullohhi wabarokatuh. How is the anti-day news Manda. May you always be happy and always under the protection of Allah. Ana's sorry for the trouble yesterday. Because of ana, anti should be in nonsense that is not-not the same anti friends. Ana loves anti Manda, please don't shy away from ana. Insha Allah, Ana will immediately propose anti. Oya, tomorrow after the study event at the East Lombok Islamic boarding school do not need to participate, yes. Anti same Salsa want ana take a walk. Get ready for my candidate. Assalamu’alaikum warahmatullohhi wabarokatuh.”

I read the letter from Ustaz Aris, then folded it back.

Ustaz Aris nothing, kok ngajak streets. How the story is told not to participate in the study in East Lombok boarding school. Meanwhile, all students and santriwati are told to go see the study of the big Kyai. I'm troubling you myself.

Ustaz Aris asked me for a no-no. I don't want to. If asked to choose to attend a lecture or a walk. Then I'll choose to go to college. Not hypocrites. But ... There's no way I'm truant. Ustaz Aris has his head eror maybe??

I then went to class again to take the next lesson.

******

Three days later, precisely on Sunday all students are ready to be ready to take part in studies at one of the branches of Ar\-Rahman pesantren located in East Lombok. I am also ready to be ready to take part in the study.

“Manda same Salsa do not need to come,” Ustazah Erin scolded when the santriwati will ride in the car.

“Limaza (Why), Ustazah?” ask Ustazah Nisa.

“There are people who want to tell Manda to Salsa, they help ana first.” Ustazah Erin answered Ustazah Nisa.

“Oouhh, yes already, Zah. Ana goes first with other santriwati, Assalamu’alaikum, Zah.” Ustazah Nisa got into the car.

The Salsa and I who were banned were clearly confused. What we would do in the cottage so it was not given permission.

I keep wondering to myself. Is ... This has something to do with Ustaz Aris taking me out. However, who asked permission Ustazah Erin. Cook yes he knows my relationship with Ustaz Aris, but I suspect why it was not given to attend the lecture.

“Anti join us first Manda wa Salsa,” said Ustazah Erin who invited us to return to the cottage.

“We have to help what, Zah?” salsa asked who was walking with me and Ustazah Erin towards the santriwati cottage.

“Already, later Ustazah tell you,” replied Ustazah Erin again.

Sometimes Salsa and I have lyrics. What exactly will we do until it should be prohibited from following the study.

Arriving at the cottage, I saw Ustaz Aris already standing alone in the canteen. Salsa and I looked at each other and were confused when Ustazah Erin approached Ustaz Aris.

“Ustaz,” reprimand Ustazah Erin behind Ustas Ariz.

“Ya,” replied Ustaz Aris turned her body around.

“Why is there Ustaz Aris?” salsa asked me.

“Ana has stopped Manda and Salsa from leaving. Just order ana, antum carefully bring them both. Do not let there be slander because antum bring Manda and Salsa out.” Ustazah Erin advises Ustaz Aris.

"Na’am, Zah. Ana understands, God willing, we will take care of both of them. Ana also wants to come out with Manda and Salsa because she wants to give something important to Manda.” Ustaz Aris answered Ustazah Erin again calmly. And very calm.

Not wrong anymore. My guess turned out to be true. I was confused as to what was on his mind so he remained determined to take me out. It's important what he wants to talk about.

“Now you two go with Ustaz Aris, remember! do not let anti-story if you have gone with Ustaz Aris.” Ustazah Erin told me and Salsa.

“This means what, Zah?” I asked with a confused face and actually I wanted to scold Ustaz Aris as soon as possible.

“Iya, Zah. Why is it so tense Ustaz Aris same Ustazah?” salsa asked again who was standing near me.

“Already. Temenin anti friend just go later,” replied Ustazah Erin to Salsa. “Manda, may the anti-match with Ustaz Aris, son. Aris loves anti. Ustazah knows this is wrong. Sampe-sampe does not give anti-permission following the study. Just this time, Ustaz Aris wants to talk about the same important thing anti, son."

Quiescent. Yeah, just silence I can do. I don't know what to say. Wanna get angry? No way! There's no way I'm angry in front of Ustazah Erin. It is my teacher.

After Ustazah Erin told me, she left me, Salsa, and Ustaz Aris. Ustaz Aris asked Salsa and me to get in the car. I'm still confused by Ustaz Aris's intentions. Makes me not want to get in the car.

“Why anti not be in?” ask Ustaz Aris to me.

“What antum means, Ustaz. Ana confused?” ask me to face another. Wasted my face and I really wanted to be angry with him.

“Ana want to take anti out. Because ana wants to talk about the same seriousness of anti.” Ustaz Aris was trying to explain me.

Whatever the reason, what Ustaz Aris did was wrong. What if Mudir finds out? What if Uminya finds out? What if someone knows? What will happen to me later. Can't he be patient and think about finding the right time to talk about seriousness. It feels .. I want to grab it. But it's impossible. Oh Allah ...

“Ustaz. Ana's already told you the same antum. Everything we do is wrong, Ustaz!! Ana told you the same antum, please leave ana. Okay, honest. Ana is actually also heavy tell antum not to disturb ana. But at least antum think before taking action like this. Antum itu ..!!” I'm upset. And very angry. However, I was angry like that for wanting to keep my good name.

“Ana tau, Manda. So he took anti out because he wanted to apologize. Ana wants to marry anti as soon as possible,” replied Ustaz Aris who tried to slowly explain me. How patient he was against me. My voice was so loud to him. For the umpteenth time I also asked to be left behind. Still, he didn't want to leave me.

Salsa who saw me did not want to forgive Ustaz Aris and did not want to continue the relationship with Ustaz Aria made my friend get out of the car.

“Manda, Ayokk we get in the car first. Maybe, Ustaz Aris want to talk about marriage equally antum.” Whisper Salsa near me.

“Ana doesn't want this to be a problem, Sa. While antum tau 'kan, Ustaz Aris has also been betrothed to Ustazah Nisa.” I answered Salsa again.

“Ya tauk, but Ustaz Aris does not love Ustazah Nisa. He's just love antum. Antum not a lot of reasons! kasian Ustaz Aris's. How many times he had to say the same antum if he would not want to marry Ustazah Nisa,” said Salsa continued to persuade me to want to get in the car and go with Ustaz Aris.

Salsa's attempts to persuade me were not in vain. My heart was broken and wanted to be taken out by Ustaz Aris. I sat in the front seat, and Salsa chose to sit in the back seat.

The feeling of annoyance towards Ustaz Aris made me just speechless in the car, without saying a word. Only silence was adorning in the car. It is possible that Ustaz Aris was also confused as to what to say to me. Whatever!! The point is I'm upset. Sometimes I get confused with myself. On the other hand, I love him very much. However, on the other hand also my mind continues to be surrounded by guilt to myself having been in a relationship with my own teacher.