A DEEP WOUND

pushups

"Where's your dutch, Feb?" erin asked as Febi walked out of the room.

"You're asleep, Bik. What's up?"

"none. Just, let's talk to him. Long time no see."

 

The conversation between Febi and Erin's ustazah was clearly heard in my ears. Boro-boro sleeping. Maybe tonight I won't sleep well. Moreover, half the contents of this cottage already know my whereabouts. Doing anything will not be calm if it is like this.

Hopefully, Ustaz Aris isn't looking for me either. Not hoping, just. As Pika called out to me, it seemed that we were unintentionally seeing each other.

 

Oh Allah .. I don't know what will happen to me next.

******

"Manda. Manda!" Febi just kept shaking my body. "Wake, Da!"

No matter how hard I tried to close my eyes. Still, he keeps bothering me.

"Manda. Wake up! I know you're not sleeping. Everyone talk to you outside!"

Hearing Febi's words like that then made my eyes open wide. Bummer. Yes, that's how I felt then.

I then woke up and immediately sat down to frown at the sight of my workmate. Still quiet and asked nothing.

"You know. Everybody's talking to you" Febi said, looking at me. "I'm just confused about you. Why can you not tell if this is where the pesantren where you draw first knowledge. Why?"

"Yes. Why-why not?" reply me with a cry, "that's why you're going to me. Keep looking at that kayak?"

"Can I do something with you?" febi asked, getting closer to her body.

"What do you want?"

"That's a hell of a deal, huh, same oldaz Aris?"

Holy hooch! Why suddenly Febi asked about ustaz Aris. What he heard out there. Maybe he already knows everything. No-no. He would ask me everything.

"What do you mean?" I tried like I didn't understand Febi's question.

"I was horrified earlier. Many people call your name. And you said you still dare to find ustaz Aris," said Febi made me swallow to hear it. "After me, Ustaz Aris is not the one who often nyari you? Why are you the one who said to come find him. I'm the one who brought you here."

The vow! I gulped bitterly at Febi's words. What will happen to me next.

"Udah. Don't need to be heard. They did, "reply reply to me by switching the conversation. "What do they say?"

"No idea. I was just a horror of that, but I was curious, Da. How they say it's the same with you. Why are you the same ustaz Aris. What's the same problem with him?" febi asked with a curious face.

"I don't have any problems with him. It is ..."

"Only one, what?" ask Febi again.

"Nothing. Lupain," I replied again. "We slept, yuk, eleven o'clock at night."

Febi then nodded in agreement with me. Fortunately, he did not ask too many questions. If Febi gets to know my past, I don't know what his reaction will be like. And there will be many questions that he will ask.

The next day, Febi invited me to meet Erin's ustazah. However, I refused to come to see my ustazah. Febi said, Erin's ustazah wants to ask me something.

However, I kept silent in the room and did not want to be invited out by Febi.

I looked at Febi with narrowed eyes. To be honest, I was annoyed by his words like that. But, if not out to eat. Then, I can starve to death here.

One day, feels like a year here. In fact, it's Sunday. Should have returned to the cost, Febi even retreated to return to the cost. My head is getting dizzy in this cabin.

"Related, Da. Erin is waiting for us!" this time Febi was really angry with me. I also had to get up and get out of the room.

Febi invited me to the house occupied by Erin's ustazah. Erin's ustazah house is also close to the santriwati cottage.

That morning, I saw santriwati gathering in the kitchen. Candidate to get rice rations each. There are some students who recognize me. Classmates.

"Manda. Here, Son. Come sit down first" said Erin's ustazah kindly.

I smiled at my ustazah hospitality. He is still the same as before, still very friendly and kind.

We ate with Erin and Febi. Without anyone talking. Only silence exists when we focus on each other with each other's food.

After finishing the meal, Erin's ustazah did not go directly to the classroom to teach. He even invited me to talk.

"So, you work now, son?" erin asked ustazah in shock when she found out that I was working together like her nephew.

"Yes. Zah," I replied briefly.

"I thought you were going to continue school, son. You don't know if you're working?"

"Will, Umi. Hopefully by the end of the test tomorrow, Manda will be able to pass her university."

"Oh. You're on the list of lectures, son. So, this year going to college?" ask Zah Erin kindly.

I nodded in assent to my ustazah. We talked for a long time, and it was just talking about ordinary things. I thought Erin's ustazah would ask something not\-no.

"How are things, Salsa? You still in touch with him?"

"Alhamdulillah still, Zah. We still see each other often if there's time."

"Oh, yeah. Thank goodness, Son. Umi thought you guys weren't in contact with each other."

"Salsa, who's Salsa?" saut Febi asked us. He heard all the conversations I had with his aunt. Out of curiosity he asked who Salsa was.

"Salsa is my best friend, Feb. You know not the young woman who used to come after me. And he was also familiar with Mr. Hadi," I said explaining.

"Oh, That. Yes I know. So, she's also in school here?" ask Febi again.

"Yes. He's her best friend, Manda. Back then they were always together, "reply Erin explained Febi again.

"Ooo. Oh yeah, Bik. Bibik knew the man named ustaz Aris was often lo nyari Manda to the store," Febi told ustazah Erin

Febi's words obviously surprised me. He discusses ustaz Aris. I felt like I wanted to silence Febi's mouth so he wouldn't ask this to Erin later.

"Manda Nyari. Mean you?" ask ustazah Erin back.

"Assalamu'alaikum ... ustazah ..." an outside voice called Erin's ustazah.

"Eh. Bibik ngajar first, later tips continue to talk again," said ustazah Erin left us.

Alhamdulillahot. Before Erin asked Febi again. He was called by santriwati. Febi started wondering\-wonder. I think I'm keeping his mouth shut. Is there anything to be able to silence Febi's mouth so as not to be too cocky about people's personal lives. Why should he tell Erin's ustazah if Ustaz Aris is looking for me often. You shitty friend.