A DEEP WOUND

Party dress

“Anti like this model?” ask Ustaz Aris to me who picked the wedding dress at one of the desaigner shops.

“Ya, likes, Ustaz. But ana prefers the same white one earlier,” I said looking back at the beautiful white wedding dress. I reckon.

Not to forget that Salsa accompanied me. Salsa who was often my bodyguard was merely\ in order to hide my relationship with Ustaz Aris. In order not to be a slander, if I go out with Ustaz Aris.

“Salsa, how according to antum?” I asked Salsa who was standing near me.

“If ana anyway, both are good, Da. But even better is that white color.” Salsa looked towards the white dress I wanted.

“Ya, already. We order a model like that later,” said Ustaz Aris told me again.

“Keep between his clothes like how?” ask again.

“If it's a boy, wear a black suit tomorrow. Men are not complicated like women,” replied Ustaz Aris glanced at the smile of seeing me.

After doing fitting clothes, Ustaz Aris rushed to take me and Salsa to return to the boarding house. As usual, I sat in front. The ones close to Ustaz Aris and Salsa were sitting in the back seat.

“Ustaz. Antum already told Mudir same Umi antum not?” let me look at Ustaz Aris who was driving.

“Not yet,” replied Ustaz Aris shaking his head.

“Loh, why not, later if this is a problem how?” ask me now with an expression turned to worry.

“Antum also do not know Mother antum,” saut Salsa from behind.

“Yes. Ana tau, but 'ana will have to wait for graduation first and tell you, Mother. If now he is afraid he is shocked.” I'm trying to explain Salsa. "If Ustaz Aris doesn't have to wait for anything. No way ana must finish school in a new boarding school can me .. marriage."

Even now, I still feel worried. Moreover, Ustaz Aris said if he had not told Abinya. I'm afraid I won't be approved.

Arriving at the boarding school, Salsa and I got out of Ustaz Aris' car. Where that afternoon, the santriwati were assigned to clean\-clean every afternoon. With the exit of me and Salsa made the santriwati look at us strangely. I don't know what they're thinking. The point is, I and Ustaz Aris are getting married soon. Any minute.

******

When I'm going to the bathroom. I met with Ustazah Nisa while walking. By recognizing yourself as a santri. I smile to say hello in front of Ustazah Nisa, my sweet smile was replied by Ustazah Nisa and returned my greetings from me as well.

“Wa’alaikumsalam warahmatullahi wabarokatuh,” replied Ustazah Nisa.

When I was leaving I was stopped by Ustazah Nisa, I considered her gaze so sharp towards me. Or just my feelings or not. To the point of making me bow, not wanting to return his gaze.

“Ana can ask same antum?” ask Ustazah Nisa to me.

“Yes, Zah. Antum wants to ask what,” I replied again to see Ustazah Nisa.

I started to tremble and was scared.

“Antum go where was Ustaz Aris?” xtazah asked Nisa suspiciously to me.

“Mmmmm, that's Zah. Ustaz Aris ...? out of anterin buy medicine,” answered me stammering and nervous.

I don't know when I'm gonna hide all this.

“Ana please same anti. Help u! jaharin Ustaz Aris's. May anti understand with these words ana.” Ustazah Nisa firmly told me.

Shocked, gaping, and like someone stuck in this heart. Be ill. My heart ached hearing my teacher's sudden words.

Only that word came from the mouth of Ustazah Nisa. Then left a very sharp look on me. My heart stopped beating when I heard his words. His words did not hurt.

But ... he dared to rebuke me. Surely he already knows my relationship with Ustaz Aris so dare to rebuke me like that. I felt like I could not think when Ustazah Nisa rebuked me to stay away from Ustaz Aris.

How could I leave the man who made me fall in love. If only I felt love. Maybe I'll give up hope. But this is another story. Ustaz Aris and I have promised to get married soon. And we both like. How could Ustazah Nisa tell me to stay away from Ustaz Aris??

I felt like I didn't want to do anything when Ustazah Nisa asked me to leave Ustaz Aris.

I turned around to go back to the room.

“Manda, anti why?” salsa asked me as she sat alone while the other santriwati were studying.

I just shook my head and did not answer Salsa anything. Perhaps Salsa was curious until she approached me and sat down close by.

Ask in a soft voice again.

“Antum why? Same story Ana?” salsa asked holding my hand.

“So you met Ustazah Nisa,” I replied with a sad and limp face.

“Terus .. He said something similar antum?” salsa asked again wrinkling her brows.

“Ya,” is just a nod that I gave you.

“Yes already, we learn it there only, we story there.” Salsa also took me to a place that was not too close from the students who were studying.

“Believe it or not, Ustazah Nisa .. tell ana to go away Ustaz Aris." With a sad face I told my best friend.

“What!! he said like it was the same antum,” with closer Salsa was shocked to hear my words.

“Ya,” I replied nod again, “honest, ana is afraid of losing Ustaz Aris, Salsa.”

“Yaa, ana tau. But the one who loves antum Ustaz Aris, who will marry the same antum Ustaz Aris. And Ustazah Nisa has no right to ban Ustaz Aris. They were indeed betrothed but Ustaz did not want to be with him.” Salsa tried to explain me by holding onto my two hands.

“Eat him from it, Sa. Ustaz Aris and Ustazah Nisa in marriage by Mudir. Ana's afraid! will not match Ustaz Aris.” The clear water is now wetting my cheeks. Flows slowly. Is this as complicated as love? For the first time I felt love and for the first time I felt pain because I was not necessarily a match with Ustaz Aris. I'm afraid he'll make a fool of someone else.

“Antum denger. The soul is determined by God. But if it is far away like this. Until the antum is brought for clothes fittings. There is no way Ustaz Aris will find antum, Manda.” Salsa kept trying to convince me.

“Ana tau, Sa. The soul mate is determined by God, but even though it has gone as far as fitting clothes. God can also thwart everything whatever it is if God wills. Nothing is impossible, for Allah is all-powerful over all.” I tried to wipe away the tears that were soaking my cheeks.

“Makanya antum in tell sure, if antum sure Ustaz Aris is the best. God willing, antum must be a match with him.” Salsa wiped away the tears on my cheek. Only Salsa can be where I pour out my heart but to Allah.

“Ana fear!” I said looking at Salsa.

“Antum do not have to fear, ana do’akan hopefully antum really mate and launched everything.”

“Amin, allah humma amen,” answered me trying to smile in front of my best friend