A DEEP WOUND

Impasse

Friday’at morning, where other santriwati take advantage of the time to wash their dirty clothes. Because that is our activity.

Jum’at day is a holiday for santriwan and santriwati in the boarding school. My friends are busy with each other and I wash in the bathroom.

When so engrossed in washing, there was a sound of an announcement for the santriwati gathered in front of the courtyard of the santriwati cottage. I tried to quickly brush my clothes after hearing the announcement to gather.

“Wahid .. ,” that's the count of one of ustazah through the microphone.

I haven't finished anything yet. But they were told to get together.

And my laundry is not done either. With an upset face I put the clothes that have been washed in a bucket.

Every time, I get annoyed with the rules of the cottage. In the cottage where I explore this knowledge, very often if on holidays gather the students to do something.

Even though it is a holiday, but there are still activities. Even so, I don't want to complain or get bored with all this.

I try to stay confident and able to get through everything for what I aspire to.

“Isnani ...,” second count of ustazah again.

Without waiting for a long time I immediately ran, and left the laundry. Because if it is late, then anyone santriwati who is late will be punished. And that's all been the stipulation in the cottage. If in law, I am very embarrassed to be seen by other students.

“Antum have finished washing it?” salsa asked me, but tired of running away from the bathroom, I just nodded in response to Salsa.

That morning, the sisters were told to gather to clean the dirty yard in the cottage. We were told to pull out the grass that had started long, and of course I also did it with friends.

Finished pulling out the grass, I also did not forget to move the scattered rocks. Because I was upset and tired, I threw a stone that would be moved. Unintentionally suddenly the stone floated in front of ustaz Aris as he was passing by. Really, I don't know if he's going to pass. Finish me.

“Aaaa ..jeez!" I went straight to him and definitely apologized to him. “Aduhh .. afwan, Ustaz. Ana was unintentionally? Ustaz not why-why ‘kan.”

“Alhamdulillah, no. Anti next time don't throw like that. Later if anyone passes continue to hit, ‘kan anti di salahin later,” said ustaz Aris advised me. Obviously I nodded while apologizing when he said that.

“Na’am, Ustaz. Once again ana apologizes,” reply me again lowered my head.

“La’basa (it's okay), anti Manda name, ‘kan?”

“Na’am, Ustaz. Name ana Manda.” It turns out that the handsome ustaz who is often admired by these santriwati is still inget with my name. But ... he just asked for a name and left and left a big smile in front of me.

Undeniably, he is so handsome, tall, like an Arab prince. But ... That's what my friends said not with me. To me, Ustaz Aris is mediocre.

Maybe, if I want to admire it, he will be amazed by the intelligence he has until he can go to the University of Cairo and get a scholarship. That's what I'm proud of him for. Not with his good looks.

******

As usual, I took lessons with other students in class. The lesson takes place in class quietly.

At that time, all the focus paid attention to the ustazah that was explaining in front of the class. The lesson came to a halt when someone knocked on our classroom door.

It was none other than Ustaz Aris. Ustazah Maesaroh who was explaining also turned to see him say hello.

“Assalamu’alaikum, Zah. Sorry to interrupt, call me Imanda Ramdhani. Wanted by his mother,” said ustaz Aris told ustazah Maesaroh.

Then I heard that Mom was coming, very happy. Finally, my mother came to visit me. Ustazah who heard directly allowed to go out to see Mother.

With a face so excited I walked following ustaz Aris.

“Oh yes, Anti from where?” ask ustaz Aris to stop his steps and turn around to see me.

“From north Lombok, Ustaz,” I replied.

“Away once, Which village?”

“Angan Village, Ustaz.” I replied with a slightly hesitant voice.

“You have a brother?”

“No, ana single child. No brother.”

“Oouhh.”

Ustaz Aris asked me familiarly. In fact, my brother was asked by him. As much as possible I answered his question.

From a distance, I saw Mother sitting in front of the terrace of the cottage santriwati. I immediately approached him who was sitting alone waiting.

“Mother,” My reprimand greets Mom with a big smile. How much I miss my mother. That day paid off with his arrival.

“Yes Allah. Nak.” My mother hugged me tightly.

“How are you? Mom misses you. You think you're going home? But, apparently not, indeed you are not entertained.”

“Sorry, Buk. At the cottage many events, so Manda did not come home during the semester break yesterday. But, later on the semester break class increase. God willing Manda to come home, Buk.”

 

However, the mother hid her sadness, still the puddles of tears surrounding her net were clearly visible. However, I as a child tried to convince Mom that I was fine at the cottage.

 

Even if I tell the truth, how much I miss him and my hometown. Especially for ten months I have not returned since I was entrusted to the boarding school. Like other parents, I brought food and pocket money for me.

While at the cottage I rarely visited by Mother, but I still have good friends who want to always share together. To release the longing, my mother and I had a long conversation and talked about the state of the village that I had not seen for a long time.

“Yes already, Mom goes home first, huh? You are well here, diligently-craftsman learn it.” As she stroked the top of my head gently.

“Iya, Buk. Thank you for taking a look,” I replied to my mother before she left me.

******

During the day all other students are busy with their respective activities. While I was in the musholla busy memorizing the holy verses al-qur’an. With a certain memorization, Salsa came near and disturbed me.

“Da. I suppose?” Salsa was sitting near me like she wanted to say something, but was a bit hesitant.

“Mmm ... What!” my answer.

Salsa's words like that obviously make me a taget. And felt if my throat suddenly felt stuck by something. “Uhuk ... Uhuk ... Uhuk!! antum anything at all, Sa.” I pushed Salsa who was near me.

“Kok what the hell? Antum don't see how Ustaz Aris sees antum. Tajem! Since first entering our class, antum aja asked the name. Keep ... when we see the subtle creature, God accidentally brought the antum again with him. Keep ... when Antum's mom comes, who calls him too. Continue ... ??” Salsa moved her arms to speak in front of me. That's the hallmark of my friend this one, he often if talking his hands can not be silent. Keep moving.

“Terus what! Already! antum don't be weird and Salsa, where maybe ustaz likes the same ana. Remember that! we're here to learn, ana doesn't know the same likes as well. Ana doesn't understand her name, love what it's called. Ana's age is the same ustaz Aris is much different. No way!” I replied a little annoyed at my best friend's accusation.

“One thing to know. Nothing in this world is impossible! if Allah has willed, for nyatuin antum same ustaz Aris, how?” Salsa glared at me and kept whistling loudly assuring me that Ustaz Aris was indeed like different every time I saw him. To me, what Salsa said was too exaggerated and unreasonable. The teacher likes the students. Not very.

“Umur ana same Ustaz Aris it pretty far. So, it's not possible either.”

“Apaanya different far, just different six years, really. Antum 19 and he 25,” said Salsa again explaining me with confidence.

Hearing Salsa's rant keep calling ustaz Aris pissed me off and left. Looking for another seat so that my best friend does not bother me anymore. When can he memorize if he remains annoying.

I continued to memorize verses al-qur’an, suddenly Ustaz Aris came. Me and the other santriwati were told to gather when they all sat down.

That afternoon also al-qur’an rote memorization will be monitored by Ustaz Aris. Usually supervised by ustazah, but that day for the first time an ustaz where the santriwati deposit memorization.

What happened again the other Santriwati was very happy when tau ustaz Aris watched. While I am between happy or not. It felt, my heart was beating fast when tau ustaz Aris was the rote deposit that day.

Either the nervousness I feel, or maybe because I'm not sure about my rote or what? Often I did not understand, and for the second time I had to feel the thumping of the heart. Confused itself.

“Manda, see me? Ustaz Aris cautiin antum again tuh,” said Salsa began teasing me again.

I think I want my best friend's fish. Because of what I said, Ustaz Aris often worried about me. Feelings don't come anymore, even though I don't know about how it feels to someone.

I don't understand about love? Although I often hear it, still I never dated or know the meaning of the word about taste to someone.

One by one santriwati came forward to deposit memorization. After I finished memorizing, I went forward to memorize the memorized verses.

Occasionally ustaz Aris smiled as I started memorizing the verses of al-qur’an. I tried to respond to his smile. Perhaps ... His smile was just a hospitality for his students.

“Bismillah hirrohmanirrohim,” says.

“Awhile ago, whose anti Manda name?” ask ustaz Aris to me.

“Imanda Ramdhani.”

“Ya already. start memorizing.”

“Bismillah hirrohmanirrohim, Aaaam’mayatasa alun .. anin na’bail azim,” I memorized An-naba's letter until it was finished.

After I finished memorizing, I returned to my seat. And again Salsa came over and teased me.

“Ana said what too, Da. She smiles again ‘kan same antum.” Salsa teased me again, nudging her shoulders at me, giggling herself.

Because it was very upset to be teased continuously, I moved to sit to avoid being ignorant of a Salsa. If there's no one, I've already taken him all out.

******

Finished depositing memorization, me and the other santriwati came out of the musholla. Go to the room to put the face. Then the santriwati gathered together for lunch as usual. I also went to the kitchen to eat.

And of course I don't forget to always be with Salsa. Salsa often irritates me. But I love him as a friend. We both ate that lunch.

That afternoon too, when all the santriwati calmly eat their own food. Ustaz Aris passed in front of the eating santriwati.

The emergence of Ustaz Aris even makes all santriwati immediately fail to focus on eating their own food. All eyes were on him, except for me who was just annoyed and peed to look at him.

 

What I still confused, why the hell all really admire the figure of an ustaz Aris. Even Salsa my best friend immediately misbehaved also saw it like other santriwati.

 

“Ya Allah .. swear! really handsome?”Salsa started to harass you, misbehaving when she saw ustaz Aris.

While I who saw the behavior of my best friend felt like vomiting. I thought that all my friends were flirtatious and insignificant. Who could not see the handsome man instantly drooled. I also continued to eat rice. No matter with the other santriwati talking about ustaz Aris.

“Manda,” heard a voice from behind calling my name.

Which I was going to put the rice in, undo and take the rice out of my hand.

I now looked back, a hand sticking fried chicken in front of me. I turned around, and the one who gave me a piece of chicken was Ustaz Aris.

“Take,” say ustaz Aris.

I just gaped at the chicken that was given to me. His heart was pounding again and for the third time it made me only speechless to see the handsome Arab-faced male figure already in front of me giving me a piece of chicken.

“Syuk .. syukron, Ustaz.” I thanked him then he left after giving me a piece of chicken.

“Why do you love antum, Da?” salsa asked in surprise.

“Where do I know,” answer me again.

“Ana also said what. He likes it like antum.” Salsa sumringah seduced me.

I, who was mediocre, began to get annoyed with Salsa teasing me about ustaz Aris again. Apparently, and not long after. Ustaz Aris returned to share the santriwati together a piece of fried chicken.

Seeing all of that was shocked. Why are all the other santriwati also being shared. I thought I was the only one who was loved.

I try to continue eating my nose. Hiding the annoyance. But, in reality all santriwati are shared.

“Hahahaha .. I think the step forward on this one is wrong, Da.” Salsa laughed around me.

“Who told antum nebak-nebak people like the same ana. That's ‘kan, it's proof! it is not only Anna who is loved. But ... all other santriwati!” I replied to Salsa while being jealous.

I tried to hide my disappointment and annoyance to ustaz Aris.

The incident also became clear evidence that Salsa alleged to ustaz Aris who likes me. Is wrong!