A DEEP WOUND

Early Farewell

"Hey!" I was shocked when Febi patted my shoulder from behind. "Why you?"

 

I looked at Febi with a gloomy face. And it was lazy to answer my workmate.

 

"Thinking ustaz Aris, yeah .." ledek Febi nudged me.

"That's what. Why think of him."

"Truly, don't think of him."

"Hm. Really," I replied with a sewot. Instantly I was upset when I heard the name ustaz Aris.

 

Actually, there was actually also the Febi. If I do think of Ustaz Aris as well and think of mother anyway.

Next week, I will take a written test at the University where I will go to college. I hope, hopefully there are no obstacles and distractions.

The passion to work today doesn't seem to exist. I don't know why I feel bored and bored. In fact, even at lunch time I was reluctant to go out to eat.

Usually, lunchtime arrives. I was the quickest to go out with Febi to go to the food stall. However, today felt bland and uninspired.

Which still continues to be reflected in this mind. Dream about ustaz Aris asking me to get married. Really, I'm in a dilemma with all this. Yesterday's dream felt so real. In fact, dreams sleep during the day. But why think about it.

I admit Ustaz Aris used to be married to Nisa's ustazah because he was in a match. And I don't know for sure whether Ustaz Aris had to do it or not.

I wanted to ask him, but it was impossible to ask him to meet.

Heh. Why do you have to worry about ustaz Aris. The spirit of work is lost because of him.

I miss mom, I finished the writing test together. I'm going home to see mom. In fact, how willing this self is to tell the burden of the mind. But, I would be surprised to hear all my stories.

Especially hearing the figure of Ustaz Aris. I hate it so much when I talk about my past. So, it feels heavy if you have to tell your mother.

As close as\-nearn I am to mom. If it's a personal matter like this. I never told you.

 

"Aren't you eating?"

 

I looked up when I heard someone reprimand. I saw Febi was near me. His face was so sparkling\-shine like today was his happy day.

He held a parcel, which I certainly did not know what it was.

 

"Woe. I was asked, how, what was it from earlier? You why, anyway, I keep glum attention from this morning. Why?"

"What the hell," I replied lazily.

"Oh, yes, you have no intention of going back to the cottage?"

"You mean?"

"Yes. When we go home, you meet with the head of the cottage. You were told to come back?"

"Hm. It's just a stale base, won't I go back there?" answer again. Then leave Febi.

"Manda! really don't want to come?"

 

I stopped my steps when I heard Febi's words. And of course, I looked back a little.

 

"Next week it looks like I'm going back to the cabin" said Febi.

"Why are you going there again?" many doubt.

"You want to know, Erin. Because my mother told me. You don't want to come?" ask Febi again.

"No," I answered and set foot again.

******

I looked at Salsa who was still busy eating her rice. He was so very voracious, like a man who had not eaten for many\-days.

While I, just look at the occasional drink of ice mixed that I ordered earlier.

"Aren't you eating?" salsa asked me to break my daydream.

"No."

"What did you eat?"

"Udah. This morning," I answered, drinking the ice in front of me.

From yesterday my appetite was gone. I tried to calm myself down, but still couldn't.

My heart feels completely covered by love. In fact, for days\-days I still think of men\men who actually already have a wife.

"You got a problem?"

"Huh." I was shocked when Salsa held my hand. "Md. Nothing, really."

"Of course, if there's no problem why is it like that?" salsa asked seriously at me.

My best friend is very good at reading the look on my face if there is a burden in me.

"Nothing, really," I replied lowered my head again.

"You tell me the same story. I know you must have a problem. I know you very well, Manda."

I tried to smile, even though I just smiled in front of my best friend. "Next week, when you're done with the test, I'll go home."

"Going home? that means going back to your village?"

I nodded in agreement with Salsa. I was confused by my attitude. To speak is to be lazy. Sharing a story with Salsa. I really can't talk at length.

This\-moment alone feels better for me to feel. I feel comfortable if daydreaming alone without being disturbed by anyone.

"Hm. Who are you going home with?" salsa asked me after she put in her last mouthful of rice.

And yes, I do not like to see people who eat while talking. Lah, that was Salsa as long as this thing was the same as me. He nodded while talking about it. Actually, I've been watching him talk while he's grumpy. But, back to me again males.

So, I just kept quiet to see Salsa talking and answering her sober question.

"I don't know." I wish Salsa would take me home. He asked who I would go home with. It was a shame to ask her if she didn't offer to take me home first.

If only, my village would be deket. There's no way I'm going to get into trouble like this. If you use public transportation to go home will be very far. And it takes hours\-hours just to be able to nyampe.

When, I have a motor. If you have, maybe I will also visit my mother often. Ever since Aris's old mind, I feel kanget with mom.

How much I wanted to embrace her. If I could now I would hug my mother tightly.

"I'm peing, actually your anter. But now there are a lot of activities on campus. So, I can't, Manda."

"Yes, it's okay." I used to feel so delivered. However, since Salsa said so I did.

There's no way I'm gonna have to make people's kids come home. Even though he is a close friend.

"Oh, yes, what if you are accompanied by Riko," said Salsa Sumringah.

"Huh. Riko's sister? Riko's sister is working, Sa," I said again frowning at Salsa.

"Yes, tauk. But, I can tell him later if you want to go home again. God willing he would be sure."

"Eh. Nay! Kasian Kak Riko's. He's working, Sa. Cook yes he has to leave his job because of me. Don't need. I'll take public transport tomorrow."

Honestly, I'm a little scared of public transport. Not to mention the long journey, while I am also a woman. If there are no passengers, the driver is often down the road.

I remember my time with my mother for the first time to Mataram we used public transportation. If the public transportation we use does not have passengers, they have the heart to nurunin even in the middle of the way home.

It is very sad if you have to move\-move seats using public transportation. I don't want the truth, but if mom's fear continues. It is not comfortable to do\-wake.

Do not forget to vote yes, as much as\-many 😉😊😊