A DEEP WOUND

Aya's Regret

 

The sky was so beautiful as eyes looked at him. Decorated by stars scattered in all directions. Very lovely. Wind gusts are slipping slowly. The wind tonight isn't so body piercing. Even it's cold.

I'm sitting alone tonight. After a week, my best friend left me. If I could, how much I wanted her to stay with me longer.

 

But all of that would not be possible. He will be scolded by his father if he continues to live in my house. Moreover, she is the favorite daughter of Father and his brother. Can be berabe later if he stays here long.

"Manda," a soft voice came from my mother.

I turned around, helping Mother who was standing near me. I just smiled broadly at my mother's face.

"You don't eat?"

"You're eating already, Mom."

Now she sits near me, stroking me.

"When?"

"So when Mom wasn't home."

"Oouhhh, I don't think so. Yes, you slept there. Don't stay out too long you've only healed, son."

"Manda just finished eating, Buk. Later on," I replied with a limp face.

"alright. Oh yes, Salsa .. How many brothers, son? The first time he's been here until now was picked up by the same person."

"That's Riko, Mom. Salsa's older brother, Salsa, is Riko's sister, Buk."

"Ouuhhh," replied Mother again.

"Why is his mother Salsa's brother?" my many.

"none. I'm just curious, that's why you."

"What's the cirain, Buk."

"There's nothing, '" replied Mother smiling blandly.

 

I then invited Mom in to sleep. Because it's late at night.

 

******

 

Being at home with no activities at all is boring. I am still confused as to what to do next. After failing to finish school in the pesantren.

 

Wanna college? not likely. With the lack of mother. I can't possibly trouble him. Even now I still remember the disappointment I gave to Mom. And even now I am still very guilty.

Ever since I got out of the pesantren, I never mentioned my memories of being in the pesantren.

Maybe he was keeping my feelings. So as not to think about what I've received there.

Because, if you remember all that again. My heart still hurts. So hurt. It took me a long time to recover from the heartache I had received.

"Manda ... Manda," Mother's voice called out to me.

"Yes, Buk ..." I stepped out of the room to get to Mom.

"Mom wants to work first, you stay at home, yes," Mother said to me in her soft voice.

"Manda come, yeah, Buk."

"Don't! You just recovered, just rest at home."

"But, Buk. Manda was tired at home constantly," I lowered my head with a sad face. So that Mom would let me come.

"Anyways, you stay home. Don't go anywhere just yet. You just healed. And I want to go to the rice fields, not good work, son."

After I thought about it. Than to trouble Mom again later. I also told the woman I loved not to go with her.

The house feels empty. Mom goes to work and I'm the only one at home.

Because there is no activity. I decided to go into the room to read a book. Perhaps, by reading a book my mind can feel calm.

 

My hand reached for a novel. I initially wanted to read another book. I don't know why I chose this pink novel. The novel that my best friend once gave me was Salsa. As I recall, I haven't finished reading it. So I decided to continue reading the novel.

 

He knows I like to read novels. He also enjoys reading novels, not novels. But ... Salsa is a hobby of reading as well.

I opened the novel in pink. I opened the first page, and on the second. I found a folded white paper.

Curious, I opened the paper. Apparently, the paper was an old letter that had been sent by the man who had been in this heart.

 

Just by reading half a paragraph it feels like the heart is sliced\-iris. Be ill. And very sick.

 

Every time I remember it, these tears are always pouring down my cheeks. Now I know what it feels like to be betrayed. In the past, I always asked? Why do women cry when abandoned by the man they love? And what does it feel like to be betrayed? Now I find the answer. The pain of being betrayed cannot be expressed by words.

I'm certain. Any woman in the world. If you love a man and plan to get married. But in fact he just left us. It's gonna hurt a lot. We know that a soul mate already has something to determine. However, it would be nice if he apologized first and told us that he could not marry us. Not running away from problems and making decisions just like that.

Ustaz Aris .. I'm confused what to tell him. I hope God does not meet us again. Because I don't want to see him again.

In a daydreaming moment, think of a betrayal. My phone reads. It says that it calls in the name of Salsa.

"Hallo. Assalamu'alaikum," I said.

"Wa'alaikumsalam, Manda."

"Yes, Sa. Why?"

"Nothing, just want some news. How's antum doing?"

"Alhamdulillah, fine. How about antum?" ask me to come back while getting up from my seat.

"Well, Da. How come antum never connects ana, anyway?"

"Sorry, Sa. Ana has never held a cell phone since she became ill. This is just tumben hold hape."

"Oouhh, yes. Oh yes, Da. Ana wants to take a walk next week. Won't you?"

"Walk? where to?"

"lack of knowledge. Later we will be the same Riko sister went. Antum would you?"

"Mmm .. ana doesn't dare to promise. Then ask permission first with Mom. What are we going to do?" I ask you again doubtful.

"Pake the car. Cook on a motorcycle! Want that three bells?"

"Yes, no, it's just ana. Use a motorcycle."

"No. We'll use Dad's car. Roki's sister also wants to meet antum."

"Meet? What's for?"

"Yaaa he just don't want to see antum fluster continues. That's why he took us for a walk."

"Oouhhhh, yes, Sa. Tomorrow if permission is the same Ibu ana tau antum. A long time ago, yes, assalamu'alaikum."

I hung up the phone ending the conversation with Salsa. I hope, hopefully allowed out with Mom. Because, just healed. Afraid that he won't let me out later. My mother was always worried about my situation.

A mother's love cannot be replaced by anyone.