A DEEP WOUND

Sacrificing Feelings

The holidays are over. All the santri back again as before in the boarding house.

Follow the rules again as before. In a moment, I'll finish school at the boarding school. And ... will be married soon. I hope there is no hitch about my plans and Ustaz Aris.

We were sitting in front of the canteen terrace eating the snacks we bought from the canteen.

“Ana can't wait, Da. See antum married Ustaz Aris,” Whispered Salsa who sat near me.

“Of course antum want to say if ana married later?” I asked to look at my best friend.

“Yaa, no, but want to see antum quickly wear a wedding dress. Must be really beautiful,” said Salsa smilingly looking at me. In fact, I also smile because I am happy.

“Wait a minute, stay a while. Exam only stay 4 months, after that .. graduation and H.” day I'm checking myself out to see Salsa. Which I feel impatient. Want to be with Ustaz Aris soon.

“Hopefully ana can also be a future husband who is like antum. The sleazy, handsome, smart, tajir trusss. The world of the Hereafter is complete."

“Ya Allah .. hahaa antum mah, don't talk about the world of the hereafter. I think how that sounds."

"Yes yes, anyway ana doain may antum mate. And it'll be easy."

"Amin allahuma amen,” answered me and chuckled at Salsa.

“Yeehh, laugh at him,” says Salsa singing her mouth.

“Antum it, too much, complete the world of the afterlife.” I picked up a bottle of water that was near me. I don't know what to say about my best friend. Often he also hates. But often he is also fun and funny.

“Yaa, that's how we liken it,” said Salsa again replying to me.

“OK, okay, it's up to antum,” I said again to Salsa.

The next day, precisely on Friday morning’at. I sweep in the front yard of the santriwati cottage. Without leprosy Ustaz Aris behind greeted me.

“Nyapunya diligent,” Ustaz Aris pass just like that in front of me.

I who heard those words immediately stopped sweeping. I just smiled blandly at Ustaz Aris who was walking towards the house of Ustazah Erin who was not far from the cottage santriwati.

I continued to sweep again after seeing the man\man who would be following me.

******

“Kok side dish aja vegetable,” said Salsa just look at the rice when eating with me.

“Already. Thank goodness,” I said again to Salsa. While I, continue to eat my nose.

“Ana no appetite if you think gini,” My friend was starting to be jealous looking at his rice.

“Already, just eat. This is not the first time we use vegetable side dishes, before 'will often, new kok now antum do not want to eat using vegetable side dishes.” My reprimand was a bit upset at Salsa's attitude.

This is not the first time we have eaten a vegetable dish. Before that very often. And that's the truth. And eating vegetables every day is healthy. My best friend, there are always many reasons.

“Eehhh, the Ustaz Aris. We're tukeran rice, antum stay here. Ana wants to ask for a good side dish with him.”

Salsa took my noses for granted, and her nasi was given to me. Obviously I was gaping to see Salsa take the rice that was in my hand. I don't know what he's gonna do.

Apparently, he called Ustaz Aris who was about to pass in front of us.

“Ustaz. Ustaz Aris .. here.” Salsa waved a hand calling Ustaz Aris. It was seen Ustaz Aris welcoming Salsa's words. Until he approached us.

“Antum what to call Ustaz Aris?” ask me to Salsa.

“What's anti call?” ask Ustaz Aris to Salsa. And I just silently looked at Salsa who had called Ustaz Aris.

“Ustaz see try, cook prospective wife antum do not want to eat? Said he didn't like the side dish, Ustaz.” Salsa donated to Ustaz Aris who was taller than him while giving her his name.

“Eehhh, no kok, Ustaz. Salsa lie, this is Salsa Ustaz rice. Last ... “ my words came to a halt when Salsa said again.

“No, Ustaz. Why lie the same antum. Antum will believe Ana that Salsa is Manda's true friend. No way, ana has to lie.”

“Ya already, later ana buyin anti rice. If anti do not like not forced,” said Ustaz Aris saw me. I looked up to him too with a face forbidding him from buying rice for me. I shook my head to let him understand that Salsa had lied to him.

But my efforts are in vain. Ustaz Aris doesn't understand the codes I'm giving you.

“Do not, Ustaz! don't!” I stopped Ustaz Aris from leaving.

“Nothing really. Anti don't be ashamed. When should anti be ashamed?” ask Ustaz Aris now standing in front of me.

“Ngak, Ustaz. Ana is not shy about antum, but this ..” Ustaz Aris just left me.

It also made me angry and jealous in front of Salsa. I took my nose from Salsa and continued to eat my nose again.

“Haa, ana also said what is the same anti. Ustaz Aris already believes in ana., moreover 'will he know ana is a friend of antum. So, whatever you're told she definitely believes.” Salsa was talking near me without me caring.

After eating, I wash the dishes in the kitchen. Leaving Salsa out of annoyance he had already lied to Ustaz Aris. Salsa even felt innocent of anything. He was just ignorant of my attitude that was upset with him.

I then went back to the santriwati room to rest on holiday. I didn't expect Salsa to run up to me, calling my name so many times.

And I still do not want to look even though it is called many\-times.

“Manda! Manda ... !! waitin!” Salsa pulled my hand from behind.

Not saying anything, walking on regardless of Salsa pulling my hand.

“Manda. Cook because it's angry. Sorry ana yes,” said Salsa begging me.

“Ana do not like the same way lying antum Ustaz Aris,” I said again who is now sitting near the closet.

“Ya ana tau. Maafin ana, yes, cooking antum does not kasian same ana. Ana does not appetite, so Ana must lie so Ustaz Aris want to buy antum rice.” Salsa is sitting next to me.

"Antum' will know, there are many friends who gosipin ana. Kasian is also Ustaz Aris antum rambles like that."

"Yes, sorry. Excuse me. But if he's an antum biliin. We both eat."

“Kok aa anyway, who asked 'kan antum.” I looked at Salsa with an angry face.

When Salsa and I were arguing about Salsa asking to buy rice. One of the santriwati called me and said that Ustaz Aris called me.

I came out to Ustaz Aris with my face of jealousy.

“Anti why?” ask Ustaz Aris who gave me a black plastic parcel containing rice wrap.

“No why-why,” answered me trying to smile bland.

“Keep if not why-why. Why is his mouth so sweet?” ask Ustaz Aris again.

“Antum tau no, that was not ana who did not appetite. But Salsa's a lie. Say that ana is not doyan the same side dish.” I'm trying to explain.

“Already. Ana tau Salsa lied,” said Ustaz Aris replied me calmly.

So gentle, he was a patient man. In fact, my childish nature was always patient she faced me.

If admitted, I used to be embarrassed to meet with Ustaz Aris let alone to be seen by other santriwati. Now that shame seemed to be gone since Ustaz Aris really wanted to get me married.

Not to mention that he had brought me a suit fitting, it made me even more sure and not ashamed to meet him in person.

“Where do you know Salsa is lying?” ask again.

“Kan ana has seen Salsa from afar while she nuker rice equally anti,” replied Ustaz Aris smiling.

“Oouhh, so,” I said again scratching my forehead a little.

“Ya. Anti entry there,” said Ustaz Aris then left the cottage santriwati.

I went in to call Salsa to take her out to eat the rice. Looking for a quiet place so that other students do not wonder if we get packaged rice from where.