The Second Life's

LXXXVII - The Past

He touched my cheeks, my lips, and lastly clasped my hands tightly. After that, there was nothing else he did. My hand remained held by Idris until this very second.

My condition is still the same. Helpless and unable to put up a fight if Idris crossed the line. I felt his warm breath in my left ear. I don't know what he wants to do.

“Sorry to make yourself uncomfortable. But, it is only on this occasion that I can grasp your hand easily,” Idris whispered.

My finger was toyed with by Idris. He did that long enough. Even though I tried to move, open my eyes, or scream, I couldn't. And it makes me even more frustrated.

“From the beginning you always fell ill like this,” said Idris. “And when sick, you always ask me to accompany you until you recover.”

“Do you remember when you were sick first and you asked me to accompany you while I was having a lot of work piling up.” Idris laughs. “I have to work on your bed. You remember that?”

Of course I remember. I remember very much. But, it was an event in my first life! How could Idris know that?! So, did he come back to this time with me?! But, why?

“Ah, sorry. You won't remember that. Because it's part of your dark past. The beginning of all these events happened,” said Idris, sounding sad. “I'm sorry, Charlotte. I regret having been incited by the woman's words. You will definitely never be able to accept my apology.”

Is correct. He also remembers the past. He ..., br*hsek male. Why would he come back if the edges made the same mistake?! There is no point in talking about the past.

“Sometimes I feel if you also remember our past like me. But that's impossible, isn't it? If that's true, I don't know anymore how to behave in front of you.” Of course I remember!

Geck! Geck! Geck!

“Who?” ask Idris.

“I'm an Imperial Doctor, Your Majesty,” said someone from outside.

Idris seemed to be moving out of my bed. “Come.”

The door sounded open. And the sound of footsteps of more than one person was heard. A while later, someone checked my pulse, and also placed his cold palm on my forehead.

“Queen seems to be in traumatic shock. From the symptoms, this is the Queen has experienced more than once,” said the Doctor. “Just let the Queen rest until her fever subsides. He must be hard pressed. I will prepare tranquilizers and vitamins for Queen.”

“Good. Do whatever it takes to get Charlotte back to healing. I don't want him to continue to suffer like he is now,” said Idris.

My hand injected something, and I immediately felt calmer than before. Shortly after that, I fell asleep without dreaming of anything. It is only darkness and silence that I face.

***

I can't remember my childhood. Maybe there are only a few memories I can remember. That's not very important either. It's not something I want to remember.

My feeling is that Mom did something to my memory. I was forbidden to remember that until this moment. Everything must be closely related to dark magic, the Empire, and including my own mother.

Everything is still full of question marks. When I tried to remember, I immediately fell ill. Likewise when others offend things that smell the past. Bizarrely. Very quaint. What kind of trauma did I experience or my mother instill in my brain until I became like this?

Only my mother had that answer. And, well, my mom's gone.

“Good morning,” greet Idris, when I wake up from my sleep. Apparently he didn't come home. “How is your body? Is it better?”

“Why are you here?”

“Why are you here?!” irked me.

Idris looked at me and sighed with a tense face. “I'm just worried, Charlotte.”

“Worry?” I chuckle. “Worried, you say?! Your current behavior is very evasive. Aren't you aware of that?”

Instead of responding, Idris lowered his head. His actions are getting pissed off me. The figure of the man sitting a little far away from me, was sickening. Not stand up and provoke emotions.

Suddenly good, suddenly evil, suddenly spoiled to me, suddenly spoiled to Rose Hindley.

“If you want evil, evil only. There is no need to show false kindness as it is now. I don't need that,” I said fiercely.

“I don't love Rose,” says Idris.

“What? What other joke did I hear just now?”

“I'm serious. I just love you, Charlotte,” I'm Idris.

“Sinting! You said yourself that you couldn't let go of Rose Hindley. Now you say you don't love her? What else do you want?”

“I don't know. But, I love you. My feelings will not change forever. We were very familiar when we were kids. And we have also agreed to build a beautiful household. You remember that, right?” Idris' eyes sparkled with pleasure. I don't understand why he's like that. It sounds like a desperate wreath full of trouble.

My morning mood has been corrupted by my own husband with his ridiculous and sickening behavior. I don't understand Idris' mind. Did Consort Sienna do something to him?

“I don't remember.”

“True too. You've been traumatized quite badly since your mother fell ill and left this world. Some of your memories as a child become unclear and vague in your brain,” said Idris.

“You know something about my past?” aska interested.

“Your past?” Idris's behavior is strange. He rubbed his nape with repeated movements. “Is there anything you want to know?”

Something is strange. It might be wiser if I didn't ask Idris. The one who is in the stronghold of the bad guys. Idris's behavior always made me feel wary of him.

“No. Forget my question. Go home, Rose Hindley must be looking for you,” I said indifferently.

“You sure you don't want me to accompany you?”

“No.”

Idris stand. “Good. I'll go so you can rest in peace. Don't forget to take your medicine, Charlotte. See you later.”

I just kept quiet. There was no intention to respond to Idris. He finally gave up, and walked out of my room. Thankfully, I can now breathe freely in my own room.

My body is still weak and I am unable to get out of my bed. Inevitably, I should keep resting for today only. If forced, I would definitely fall ill again.