Loving You Secretly
Mahadevi
“The expanse of the sky is perfect, enthroned with stars, but one star that glows, dangling down to greet me..” “Cieee Rizki sing yaaa....” chirps Nabilah cut my senand. I glanced at him, I saw his smile fluffy mixed with the rhythm of the gentle wind and the ripples of the lake water. And I returned her smile. Then I continued singing my mahadevi song from rice.
That afternoon the two of us were walking along the edge of a lake that seemed to stretch. It looks like touching the clouds with orange and orange tinge colors adorning the horizon. I was completely powerless to reveal all the beauty of that time. I could only hum a small hum that the echo of his voice soon disappeared in the afternoon breeze. I don't know how many times I've done something like this, maybe a hundred times, but I never get bored in the least. All as it has become my routine to go enjoy the situation here, every afternoon I always wait until the sun covers the sun that begins to set in the west to change with the moon that is always present to accompany the days here.
“You don't want to go home Bar yet?” I said as I continued to enjoy the scenery without glancing at Nabilah. He answers. “No, I'm still here. I rarely enjoy this kind of atmosphere. I always work in the city, you know the city is very far from things like this. This is one of the reasons why I every holiday must take the time to go here”.
I nodded in understanding. I realized, Nabilah who lives in a big city where the everyday things he sees are just tall buildings. Nothing but vehicles filled the street were adorned with loud honking sounds and lights flashing brightly at night. But the brilliance of the colorful lights can not match the beauty of natural lanterns here.
Indeed, I think it is natural for him if he finally wants to continue to linger in this situation. Sensing the whirling of the afternoon wind, the ripples of the lake water, the shoots of the weeds swaying in the wind and the sound of the faint-hearted clutching rang out in the distance. All mixed into an indescribable beauty. In fact, even I who have often done things like this just like Nabilah, still amazed by what I often see.
We then sat for a moment on a large tree trunk that had long died with a direction slightly jutting into the lake. All went back to silence, we were back dissolved with our own feelings. This is what I like the most. Sitting alone with her without anything else being talked about, felt her strands of hair being blown off the wind and falling slightly on the surface of the skin until it smelled its signature scent. I really don't want this atmosphere to pass quickly, if you know Blah…
“It's too late Blah, I'd better take you home yes, it's not good girls come home night-night”. I break the silence. He did not reply, his eyes staring far away meaningfully at the sun who was leaving for his contest, making the atmosphere slowly dim. I finally grabbed her arm to take her home. “See you tomorrow yes!”. I said goodbye after taking Nabilah home. The rural atmosphere at night turned lonely. Only the clutches and other night creatures occasionally make a sound.
I really can't sleep tonight. I remember for sure, I'll be celebrating my birthday soon. I saw the date on the calendar attached to the wooden wall. Now on the 15th, two more days are Nabilah's birthday. I have to make something special for him. I thought about what to give her on her birthday. “I have to give something special that he never imagined before”. The voice of the crickets is still heard. Some time later, I unconsciously fell asleep.
Today, as usual I do my habit before taking a shower. At that time it was still showing at eight in the morning, the dew was not yet fully evaporated. I still water the flowers in the small garden of the yard. Without me knowing, Nabilah came and rebuked me from behind. He came like never before. This time he rode a bicycle complete with a helmet and protector. I was a little surprised to see his appearance this time. Before I could ask, he hurriedly explained. “Rizki, I would love to bike by the lake, you accompany me yes, we will race there”. He shouted while smiling. “OK you shower first san gih” he said again without asking for my approval first. I nodded, Immediately I took a towel and rushed to take a bath. The cold mountain water touches the skin. Before long, I was ready with my bike and all the gear. We rode our bikes to a lake just 1 km from our village.
Getting to the edge of the lake by bike is not a difficult thing. There are only a few climbs but it is not steep at all. We paddled casually without expending much energy. I deliberately slowed down my bike to get a chance to stare at Nabilah longer. His long hair decomposed back blushed by the gusts of wind. I was fascinated again. Ah, what kind of dejavu is this.
Some tens of seconds we went through with an atmosphere like this. He looked towards me. I was still looking at him and without realizing the sight we were seeing each other. Immediately I divert attention so that he does not realize what I am doing. But he seemed to have found out, I saw him smiling meaningfully. I haven't returned her smile. In my mind there was another feeling. I don't know what it is. The feelings that have been hurting me lately and are disturbing every night of my sleep. Trying to cover all those feelings, I asked him to chat a little. I rebalanced the bike so I could match the speed of the bike.
“Bilah”, I said as I continued paddling. “Over time you vacation here?”. “Lumayan, maybe about another week”. He answered with a mediocre facial expression. “How about you yourself Rizki?” He asked back. “I also have more than a week. My vacation here is still ten days before entering the dormitory again. So after school I will return to Semarang”, I replied. We went back to silence. Maybe our thoughts are the same, both do not want to leave this village immediately. But besides, I also do not want to immediately part with Nabilah. “What about your career in Jakarta? Isn't it even though the holidays everything must still run?” “Iya sih”, he replied. “But at this time other members are having a tour event to Japan, there are some people who do not participate. Me included. So maybe I'm here while waiting for their arrival”. Said explained. Nabilah currently has a good career in Jakarta. Some time ago he entered a search event for members of an idol group that is quite famous, and he was finally elected. So that all his life started to run there. As for me, I am currently studying at a high school in Semarang. So we were not so often able to meet and enjoy the atmosphere of the two like this.
After hearing some of the answers, I was relieved. There is still time to tell everything. “I will prepare everything well” mumbled in my heart. We continued to pedal bikes through a small, rocky road past the plantation. Until we finally arrived at our destination. Soon we went down and rested on the trunk of a wooden tree that we often did as before. I saw Nabilah swinging his feet over the surface of the lake water. I also imitated his behavior and deliberately sprinkled a little water so that it soaked his feet. He glanced and smiled, immediately avidly replying to my actions earlier. We splashed water on each other. Until about the clothes. I smiled to see Nabilah laughing so loosely. His hair was again scattered in the wind. Oh my god I was trapped back in a dejavu that kept on repeating.
The more daylight, the brighter the weather. Even so, the air still remained as cool as before. Nabilah climb up his bike, “I want to try riding a bike here ah”, he said. He rode a bicycle around the place. I kept looking at him while leaning against a tree branch without intending to do the same with him. But suddenly brukkkk. As a result, he fell off his bike. I was shocked and I quickly helped Nabilah. Fortunately he was okay because he was already wearing a helmet and protector. There were only a few small bruises and a streak of wounds on his knee that spewed blood. I remember, around here there are several types of foliage that can be used as a natural wound remedy. Immediately I took a few strands, then I washed and crushed them using both palms. The leaves that have been***** are attached to the wound of Nabilah. He grinned for some reason, maybe the wound felt sore.
“Hold a little”.my words are soothing. “The effect does exist, but only for a moment. Also will not feel”. I clearly. He nodded while still blowing his wounds that had not dried. “Enya carefully, here the land is uneven, slippery and a lot of rocks scattered. So prone to slip”. I scolded him a little for anxiety. He even laughed at me. “Rizki, I should have been more anxious because I fell, not even you who are worried about it”. “It's worth me to worry Blah, I don't want you to get hurt because of me..” I'm almost lost. “You why Rizki?” Force him. “Because of me... because I have to be responsible for you here”.ukasku. “iya, but not necessarily until kali”. He's even getting sucked.
“Ya already then”, I said. “You brought lunch right?, we ate there first yuk” said as I pointed to a place under a rather shady tree. “Good idea” said. “I've also started to get hungry”. I led him under the tree. Hahaha you are indeed excessive Rizki said. But he did not refuse when I finished it. That afternoon we enjoyed lunch accompanied by a breeze. Lunch here feels much more delicious accompanied by jokes and occasionally colored by the sound of birds chirping.
As usual, I made sure he got to his house first. I just got home. Our house is not too far away, maybe only a few hundred meters. So I'm used to doing things like this. When I got home, I cleaned up, and sat in front of the television looking for a good TV channel, until I found a Japanese movie drama. I was curious and watched it. When I opened twitter on my blackberry, it turns out Nabilah just updated his status that was immediately displayed on my twitter timeline. She was watching the same TV show I was watching too. I retweeted his status.
I had prepared all my plans to surprise her for her birthday, that night, and I sent her a short message. “Bilah, tomorrow your birthday huh?happy birthday Nabilah, hehe sorry I even say it now, because fear first with your fans. I'll have a surprise for you as your birthday present. Don't forget you come later in the afternoon at 3 o'clock right under the tree near the lake. I wait you know, don't let it go. see you tomorrow Nabilah, good night and Happy Birthday”.
Nabilah read the message from Rizki with a happy feeling, he also replied to the message and promised to come tomorrow according to Rizki's request. “What a surprise ya”, said Nabilah curious while lying on the bed. “Kok I even so deg-degan gini ya”, he said to himself with a smile. “May the day quickly change” he said again. Finally he fell asleep bringing curiosity into his dreams.
Morning arrived, the sounds of roosters from a distance were rumbling with each other. The morning activity runs as usual days, the farmers go to the rice fields and the daily grind begins to feel. Rizki awoke from sleep hearing a noise and then her gaze stared at the glare towards the window reflecting the morning sunlight bias. Elsewhere, Nabilah awoke at about the same time. Slowly, everyone began to wake up and go about their daily activities.
Nabilah still remembered Rizki's message asking him to come to the lake this afternoon. He gets excited. Right now I'm one more mumble Nabilah. I have to change for the better and more mature. He was grateful for still having the opportunity to live his days happily.
By late afternoon, Nabilah came to the lake at Rizki's request in a short message yesterday. He finds Rizki already sitting there while sounding occasionally strumming the guitar. Nabilah did not immediately reprimand him he still wanted to hear the notes that Rizki chanted through his guitar. Rizki turned her head and found Nabilah behind her. “Oh it turns out you have come bar. Come sit here” he said to invite Nabilah. Rizki put down her guitar and took out a box containing a birthday cake with candles totaling 15 as per Nabilah's current age. Then all the candles were lit. “Happy birthday Nabilah. May you be more sinter, mature and successful and more beautiful” he said. Nabilah smiled. “Come cut the cake. But do not forget you make a request first ya”. Nabilah prayed and then blew out the candle after which he cut the cake and gave one mouthful to Rizki. “You feel your birthday” said Rizki while laughing.
“Oh yes I have a gift for you bar” said me while removing a small box containing a pendant in which engraved my name and Nabilah. “That necklace I deliberately made myself for a few days. I want, with you having this, you will always remember me and the atmosphere like this wherever you are Bilah”, I said. He accepted with pleasure.
“There is one more gift for you bar” said me again. “Lho is there again? How much is it. hehe what is kadonya?” Nabilah. “No, this is just a small gift. I want to sing a song for you barat”. He smiled back. I picked up the guitar and started playing a song called happy birthday
“Today is the day you've been waiting for
Growing up a year you're happy
What I gave you was not just a ring
Not a bunch of flowers or poems is also a heart necklace.”.
I continued to sing, followed by Nabilah who eagerly followed me. Our eyes met longer and this time I did not try to divert them, nor did Nabilah. Memories like this are what I will never forget in my entire life with him.
I had intended to express all my old feelings to her. But everything I thought about was gone when I saw a smile on his face. I didn't know what to do at the time. And I decided to just keep this feeling to her, only I knew, just being able to meet her and be alone with her like this for me was more than enough. Let my love for her be spoken only through the hum that soon disappears in the wind, and let me only express all my feelings through the moon. Maybe someday if fate allows us to unite, then we will be united by his will and his plan. Love doesn't have to have each other, right?.
