Loving You Secretly

At the end of here

I occupy the front seat of the audience but at the very end. Always was. In order for the two eyes that many people call this turn can still see with intact athletic body pieces with all the agile motion of a split second when successfully returning a hard smash from the opponent. Favorite views. But sometimes the beautiful view is often disturbed by the passing of the team officials who are right in line to attack me. In fact, sometimes they disturb my beautiful view when he is in an important moment. Like last year when I failed to record a scene of his gratitude for the victory he achieved. I missed the event when again the team officials ran to hug him. Then after that, I could only whine about regretting it for every subsequent match. Always pray full of wasp so that the scene can reoccur without me having to miss it again.

“Nar, come on why do we pay a lot to watch his game if only to sit at the very end here? Nanggung.” Rena, my only loyal companion in passing this ritual – began to decorate. As always. Always ogah-ogahan to put his ass when again I choose the last seat.

I just smile knotty, befell it. As always. “Neg no pa-palah Ren, from here it is also still visible.”

“What looks? Looks like old man bangka's back?”

I still remember it with a smile. Just smile. I can't at least say much if it's about my feelings. A feeling? Yes, this match is very closely related to something that I don't know what the name is always in my feelings. Something I've always tried to hide. For enjoying myself.

“Sinar, this time I beg you to answer my question. What difference does it make sitting in the middle of there the same sitting here? If you really like him, you should be bolder dong to deketin yourself loe there.” Rena doesn't want to lose. He always showered me with similar questions. Then again I just nodded. Makes him look furious throughout the game.

The name Thunder was far in my mind first, shaking the drums in my ears before so in the cheers in this building. I've known her a lot longer than women who don't know that.

My life has been side by side with his since we were just as small. From a long time ago, I have been used to seeing the dispute really. I memorized the curve of his hand in controlling the racket. I became one of his loyal spectators when he always enlivened the afternoon with a match between villages. And like now, I always enjoy the action in my own way. In a way I don't talk much at the end of the alley. From there, something slowly began to grow. Linger over my feelings. Which even until now I can not describe what the name “something” is.

Thunder knows me. In fact, he once asked me to teach him math lessons by studying with him. But I refused. Always resist. Even though I was a child, I knew what I had to do with it. Against a superstar candidate who if I was just a little near him it could make me unceasingly dream. Dreaming of something that I was sure would make me fall in the end.

That's a philosophy I still use today. Which neither Rena nor anyone will ever understand. The philosophy of being around him is to let me dangerously fly with these two sticks into the dream realm. The dreamland of a near-perfect handsome man who is not worthy of being dived in by a disabled girl like me. It is too risky to fall and get sick. I wasn't ready for that. So forever I'll just be on the other end of here. Enjoy this feeling. In my own way.