Loving You Secretly
Only Love Is Perfect
Morning when Bandung air still feels cold, I was ready to go to campus. Today is my deciding day, my graduation hearing. My current feeling was very turbulent, there was a slight feeling of unease, but I tried to forget about it
“Today I have to succeed..” I'm deep in heart.
I also walked out of my boarding house, and before closing the gate, I looked back at the boarding house that I had lived in the last 4 years, too, a simple house with a friendly and understanding costing owner when I was late to pay the cost…
Yes I am, Arman, the son of a private driver in Serang Banten city who has disappointed Abi and Umi by not escaping to the State College, which is due to the kindness of his Boss Abi, who has failed, I was hired to continue my education at a Private College in Paris Van Java.
TEETTT.I almost jumped to hear the horn of an MIO motorcycle that almost hit me. The driver just laughed…
“Woy... early in the morning do not daydream.. think about the trial...” he shouted while laughing.
Knowing that the driver was Joan, a sweet tomboyish girl from Java-german, the son of a famous businessman in Jakarta, I could only grin.
“eh Joan... ready for trial..?” I returned the scream while approaching him.
“udah dong... nih... in the backpack..” he replied with a smile.
“Gile... full very tuh backpack.. want to go straight up the mountain again nih...” I glanced at the big backpack on the back saddle.
Joan nods vigorously, “yuk together to campus..” take her “all hold my backpack yes..” he continued with a big smile.
“already know.. loe habit..”
grouse me while sitting in the back while holding his giant backpack. Joan's smile turned into a big laugh, and the motor drove to the beloved campus.
Joan and I've had a long, long time since the days of OSEK, where we were both punished by the seniors of “sadis” just for not bringing 25 rupiah small money that naudzubilah did not understand how loud. And since then we have become familiar even we are always together in filling KRS, choosing the same courses and classes, only in the selection of our different student activities…
Actually, many colleagues are confused how can Joan and I can be friends, such as Heaven and Earth. Our characters are so different.
I, Arman, more type of sweet child, hanging out in the Library, reading novels, newspapers or anything that can be read 🙂 maybe you could say I am the type of butterfly student aka college home-school.
Organize even I look for a quieter like a discussion group, Team Chess is not strange anyway.
While Joan, far from the opposite, the tomboy girl is more expressive, happy to challenge even her organization she is a lover of nature and very active as well.
But somehow, we can be friends and even friends, maybe it is precisely because of the difference that we fill each other…
Maybe because of the very clear character differences that no one thinks we are dating and indeed we are not dating.
Actually it was in my heart to express love to Joan.but seeing the difference in social status that was very, very far away, I threw away the feeling, she said, not necessarily Joan will accept me and even later ruin the friendship that has been there, so…
We were joking along the way to college and it looks like Joan was very, very cheerful today.
Finally we arrive at the campus, the atmosphere is still quite quiet, in the parking lot of the new motor there are several student and employee motorcycles.
“eh Joan.. loe trial hour to what...?’ I opened my helmet.
“hhmm, what time is it…? Wah forgot tuh..” replied Joan lightly.
I immediately looked at him sharply while glaring. “time the hell important schedule so forgotten..” thought I.
“hehehe... becanda Man, 10.00 hours in room 211, his tester lecturer sir Denny is the same Bu Julia.. satisfied... calm down Arman dear, I memorize..... hehehehe..” said while pounding my shoulder softly.
Wuih.... relieved also it turns out that he did not mess like all this time, ever he came to campus directly from Mount Gede without bringing anything and the severity kept him “Man, he said, now what college is it...?” it's so bad, though…
“if you are Loe Man?” askalanya.
“gue first at 9.00 in the Audio visual room.” answer me while looking into my bag, see my thesis presentation preparation complete or not.
“Arman... later wait for Joan yes, do not go home first.” Joan said almost whispered near me.
Surprised to hear his speech style change drastically than usual loe-gue..
I nodded while raising my head and looking at her, it turned out that Joan was staring intently at me with a serious look.
“ok deh Joan, I first yes, nyiapin LCD her first.., later I wait in the cafeteria..” I stepped leave her towards the lecture building.
Joan caught my arm, like forbid me to leave it, but then immediately release it back “Success yes Man.. doain me too yes.”.
I waved my hand while running small, I was too busy with the affairs of this trial so did not take much heart of the incident earlier.
—-
Young coconut ice my final order came as well, my thesis trial presentation was quite good.
Profs. Juwana and Doctor Inspiration actually pressured me to the end, fortunately my guidance counselor was kind enough not to come to pressure me.
Currently completed my task. perfecto without revision, it is not useless I worked hard to compile chapters per chapter of my thesis since 6 months ago.
At 11:15 I glanced at my watch, Joan was not yet seen…
“what's the news he is..” thought I.
“what is the trial long, or he forgot to make an agreement with me and finished the trial directly to “markas” MAPALA yes.?”
While sipping my young coconut ice, I tried to contact Joan, bewildered a little to the fear that she was still in the courtroom and would disturb her and eventually sulk, wah…
I raised my HP and heard a woman's voice …
“saf your pulse is not enough to make a call..” the gap has been tekor to pulsa me…
I finally decided to wait for him in the cafeteria a little longer, but I will also remain on campus waiting for the official announcement of the results of the trial at 15:00 this afternoon.
Finally from a distance also seen her high figure until proportionally her complete Joan with her giant backpack. apparently not yet to MapALA Headquarters she.
I waved to her and Joan as soon as I saw her running straight towards me. Horrified also saw him run away staggering with a huge load on his back. I would stand up and be ready to run if Joan suddenly fell…
Thank God Joan made it to my table. Without ba bi bu he immediately drank my young coconut ice to the toilet…
After putting his giant backpack on the chair next to him sat opposite me, and smiled broadly while looking at me…
I sat back and looked at him and my young coconut ice glass in turn, my sign of protest at his drinking without excuse…
His smile instantly turned into a big laugh.. “Sorry Man... cape nih...” reason on me…
“iya not pha-pha, but yes ask permission first dong, directly toilet again..” gruntuku joking.
“how was the trial, success right..”.
I continued while calling back the young coconut ice seller.
“pesen 2 more yes mang..” shouted me while pointing my 2 fingers, the young coconut ice mamang nodded in understanding.
“iya... earlier it was Julia ma'am who rada rese, nyerocos continued, until sir Denny would not be mulu, revenge times he ama me yes..?” joan's tweet recounts what happened in the courtroom.
“la yes, inget no courses bu Julia khan who loe dapet F, until finally you have to take a short semester.?” answer me.
“oh yes... hehehe.. forgot I Man..” Joan grinned wide.
“iya because I have to help you learn, I canceled my village...”.
“hehehe... sorry Man, thanks yes my love..” Joan replied with a big laugh…
The young coconut ice mamang came and put 2 glasses of young coconut ice directly taken by Joan.
At last we both fell silent, I was engrossed in stirring up my drink while observing the twisting round of young coconuts I was stirring.
From the corner of my eye I saw Joan staring at me sharply and with a sad face.
I raised my head and looked at him…
“Why Joan... was done earlier in her trial..?” I looked at Joan worried.
Joan just smiled.
Suddenly Bobby the head of MAPALA, appears ..
“Joan.. let's have the kids ready, we chase Sunrise on Gede..”.
I saw Joan, it seems Joan's body language shows discomfort in a reprimand like that by Bobby.
“ya already in advance, I still chat with Arman.” replied Joan who sounded a little tart.
“oke, I wait at the headquarters yes..sorry yes Man...don't be long yes Joan, the children are impatient nih..” Bobby replied while walking out the cafeteria.
“you want to go…? Yes already the way gih, later in the enemyin the children of MAPALA you know.” said I responded Bobby.
“Arman.. according to loe, I went no yes..?” ask Joan with a soft face…
“This time we have been difficult to meet..” he continued again.
“ya... it is up to loe... what right I forbid loe go, girlfriend is also not let alone husband hehehe...” I replied while chuckling…
“oh that's it, so according to loe I go aja nih..?”
it seems Joan is not satisfied with my answer which in her grades is not serious.
“lho khan is ready..”.
I replied while gesturing with my chin towards his giant backpack.
Joan glanced at her Backpack.
“JOAN.. JOAN .. ayooo, we pursue Sunrise nih...” heard the boisterous sound of children–anak Mapala from the top of the Truck.
Joan looked towards them, and looked back at me sharply.
“how did Arman... Joan go no huh...?” his voice sounded soft
“ya already walk there.. later I see the results of loe deh... have fun yes..” I smile to him.
Joan stood up and lifted her backpack, she smiled sweetly at me, and stepped away from me…
“actually I want you not to go Joan..” I felt in my heart that Joan walked out to the truck carrying MAPALA students who were ready to take them to Mount Gede.
—-
In the evening at my boarding house, I was busy reading the newspaper, looking for job openings, bandung felt colder than usual, he said, the rain watering the city of flowers is quite large making lazy to move from where I sit.
GECK.. GECK.. TOK. Suddenly there was a knock on the door, I could see the clock on the wall at 10 p.m. I saw the room around me, there was no one apparently all already on the sidut…
“who the hell are gini nights visiting..?” I grumbled a little because I had to leave my seat
“where has PW so much more..a hh..” I walked towards the door and opened the door.
Behind the door I saw Joan, standing with a wet body, I immediately grabbed her arm and took her in
“Man on the porch, Joan was not long awaited for ten-men..” Joan refused to enter and walked to the seat on the terrace.
“ya already, I take the same towel Hot Sweet Tea... let loe do not catch a cold..” I go directly inside. At first glance I saw that Joan wanted to ban me but I went inside.
I quickly got out with the towel and the sweet hot and put it on the table.
“Arman... how is the trial value Joan..?” he asked as I threw my body into the chair in front of him.
“sip sist..., dapet B+ loe, by the way how can it be nongol here, malem-malem again..?” I answered while trying to find out.
“eh no pha-pha really, Joan just wanted to see this letter to Arman.” he said while showing a blue envelope. I saw him full of question marks…
“letter whatan nih... I take it now yes..”.
“don't...!!!, not now...!!!” joan's hand don't touch my hand to prevent me from taking the letter.
“tomorrow Yes Dear Arman, at 2 pm.” Joan smiled, although in a pale state the smile remained sweet.
“lho... why should it be 2 noon Joan..?” I was confused on his terms.
“Arman-Arman, anyway later at 2 pm the letter yes. promise...” Joan once smiled sweetly.
“iya deh, in waiting at 2 pm.” replied me while showing a frown like a child.
“nah so dong dear..” Joan smiles widely…
“Man... Joan straight back yes... The children are still waiting for Joan in Gede..” Joan said while standing up and started walking to the edge of the terrace.
“HAH... malem-malem this back to Gede... tomorrow only?” I almost screamed
Joan just smiled and turned to run out under the growing rain
“Be careful ya Joan..” I can only murmur staring at Joan's back which soon disappeared in the darkness of the night…
I went in and locked my door and saw the clock on the wall at 11:30 p.m.
Suddenly I became very sleepy, I decided to enter the room and pull the blanket and suddenly remembered .. “oh yes the same towel glass is still outside… ah already tomorrow morning I finish..”.
Not long after that I slept…
—
DOCS.. DOCS.. DOK...my room in the gedor I woke up shocked.
“WHO...!!!” I shouted from the bed.
“Dono... there's a nyari loe outside..” sounds authentic from outside.
I went out of the room and I saw Dono standing at the door
“Noh... There are guests in front..” he said while pointing to the front door.
In front of me I saw Bobby and Andy the kids of MAPALA, they were standing on the porch chatting. Looks tired face…
“Hai Bro... What's wrong..” my question as I sit on the patio chair, I see the sweet towels and tea I made last night for Joan, apparently Joan did not drink any and the towel was still dry.
“Man... steadfast yes Man.. Joan accident..” Andi embrace me.
“HAH... when... now where is Joan?” this must be the time when he's back at night to Gede I thought.
“semalem delapanan hour..he is still above” Bobby continued while bowed.
I nodded to the seat. Andi sat down next to my chair
“not possible... don't be kidding you not funny tau.!!!”
“semalem at 10 an Joan stopped by here, tuh his drinking marks are still there..” I said loudly feeling played by the children of MAPALA in front of me.
Bobby and Andy looked at each other confused at my words
“but in fact Man, in the 8th hour we are not kidding.. his body is still on top, the other children again evacuate down..” Bobby tried to explain…
“jasad... so Joan..” I was suffocated to hear the word Bobby…
“iya Man, Joan did not get helped.. sorry, this is my fault..” Andi said while crying.
I was speechless, my sight was empty .. Joan…
“so, at that time in post 2 Joan had said we had turned back because the fog began to fall, but Andi forced to continue even mocking Joan cowardly, but, the other kids support Andi in hopes of seeing the sunrise at the top of Gede” Bobby tries to explain the incident.
I remained silent, I saw Andi getting down and holding back her tears
“terus Man, in the middle of the journey, somehow, there is a large tree on the side that suddenly collapsed almost hit Andi but apparently andi pushed by Joan..
Bobby looked at Andi.
“Man I messed up, I was wrong. geezin I man..” Andi gasped on the floor.
I could only pat Andi on the shoulder who was sitting down on the side of my chair…
“Joan... died on the spot..?” tanya I wirih more like hissing
“nggak Man, we managed to evacuate him back to Post 2, we hope to go straight down, but Joan's condition is very severe, she. deep wounds..”.
“in post 2 he asked for an envelope and did not know he was rich tearing his Diary Book yes Ndi.?, he kept asking to be handed over to Loe Man after that .. Joan…
so we are here, to run the last mandate Joan..” Bobby continues to try to tell the events in Gunung Gede.
“what time is Joan..?”
I glanced sharply at Bobby…
“about 10 an Man, I ngenes so Man.. Joan smiled, she was like sleeping.” seen the shadows of tears began to appear in Bobby's eyes…
At 10. Joan was in front of me…
“oh ya Man, before forgetting.. This envelope that Joan asked to be delivered to loe...” Bobby handed over an Envelope... BLUE ENVELOPE exactly as Joan would have handed over that night.
I look at my watch reflexively at 2 p.m…
Just like Joan's request at exactly 2 p.m…
“Man, I'm the same Andi back then yes we go back to Gede, help evacuate Joan.” Bobby stood up and approached Andi and cleared his way out.
I just fell silent not answering, holding the blue envelope Joan's last message for me…
—-
That afternoon, in a luxurious burial complex in the cikarang area, when everyone had started to return to the rest area, I was still stuck in front of a gravestone.
JUANITA SCHMIDT
the name on the gravestone is written, a name that for the past 4 years filled my days.
I took a blue envelope out of my pocket and read it. I don't know how many times I've read it since.
The contents of the envelope contained a tear of Joan's dairy, the last of which she wrote…
“Bandung,
Joan's last day of college.Today's trial.woow, Joan finally became a Boo scholar…
But really, there is a sad feeling, oh yes…
Hmm... Arman. Joan really wants to be your girlfriend you know. Joan has fallen in love with you since OSEK first, but how come you never told Joan anyway…
Pa, maybe Joan is not perfect for Arman, right…?
Yes, anyway today, finished the trial. Joan wants to talk with Arman that. Joan Dear am Arman and Joan love Arman…
Kwkwkw. don't love Arman's face..
—
Well forgot..it has been the same promise of MAPALA children finished the hearing to ride Gede.. bodo ah. anyway Joan must talk to Arman point.
—
Yes Arman so yes. Joan wants to be banned from going naek Gede. Joan wants us to celebrate the success of the trial both of us. Dinner is so good…
Ah yes already, later down big Joan wants to immediately kidnap Arman, invite to our lembang Dinner there. sip. deh..”.
I was stuck reading the letter and I felt no tears falling and I whispered on the belly button…
“Joan... You are so perfect in my eyes..
Deep in my heart and brain, the song we both had in senior law where Joan and I were told to sing a duet
You're so perfect
In my eyes you are so beautiful
You made me
Will always adore you
At every step
I always think of you
I can't imagine
My life without your love
* do not leave me
Will not be able to face all
Only with you I can
Refs:
You are my blood
You are my heart
You are my life
Complete myself
Oh my dear you are so
Perfect, perfect
You hold my hand
When I was weak and fell
You whisper the word
And remove all my regrets
Perfect by Andra & The Backbone
