Loving You Secretly

Nata and Athan

An old swing that now looks worn with age. It is this old swing that bears silent witness to the story of friendship between two sons of different faiths who have now grown up and are beginning to understand the meaning of love. This friendship began when they were both 5 years old. At first, Nata knew Athan when Athan had just moved from Medan to Jakarta to live. Athan moved to the house right next to Nata's house until they finally became close and familiar friends until now. We both spent time together in the old swing in the middle of Nata and Athan's house, this swing was made especially for both of us, our father who made it for us. This swing was deliberately made only to sit two people, which means that this swing can only be occupied by me and Athan, no less and no more. This swing is also made as comfortable as possible, can be leaned, lying down, sitting and this swing was given a roof so as not to heat and not rain when we were there.

Oh yeah, meet my best friend his name is Nathan Immanuel, I often call him Athan and now people also call him Athan. I chose to call him Athan because if the name was reversed it would be my nickname, Nata. Yes Athan also made that name for me which is actually the long name given to my parents is Natasha Fahira. Yes, we both have different beliefs, I follow Islam, and Athan is a Protestant Christian. But, that's the name of a friend, not looking at it in any way. From childhood since we were friends, our parents never forbade us to be friends even they taught how to tolerate fellow believers. Even sometimes, even more funny, we both like to wait together when his best friend is worshiping or even just reminding him to worship. I love him so much. To be honest, after all this time I knew Athan, I had long harbored feelings of like for him but had not dared to express it. Athan is handsome and he is very considerate of me.

One day, the day before the MOS event was held where Athan and I would spend 3 days at the new campus. We did deliberately take the same university and majors and grateful we both entered in one of the public universities in Jakarta. The day before that day began, I intended to express my feelings to Athan. That afternoon, I made myself look at least neater than usual. I rushed to Athan's house, as soon as I got out of the house, I saw a sedan parked in front of Athan's house. After the car stopped perfectly, a beautiful girl of my age came out of the car with her parents in neatly arranged clothes. And once I got to know her face again, I just realized that she was Cindy, my friend and Athan in elementary school. She looked more beautiful, I just went over and greeted her and she welcomed me with a warm embrace that she did not seem to forget me. I made small talk to him about it until I asked him what purpose he had come here for, so he wanted to visit Athan's house, I don't know what the business is but he soon enters Athan's house with his parents. I also denied my intention to go to Athan's house through the front door because there were guests, so I went to Athan's house through the back door that was open, which was open, I went in and saw Aunt Nita, Mama Athan, making drinks for her guests in front. With a cheerful face I entered through the back door and greeted aunt Nita for just a stale base.

“Siang aunt.”

“Eh Nat, ngagetin aja you.”

“Hehe sorry tan. What's the aunt doing? Make a drink, huh? I help ya?”

“Iya already know still nanya you this Nat. No need to.”

“It's a doang kok tan. Oh yeah, Athan where the hell is aunty? How not to look?”

“There are still in front again receive guests same papahah.” Said aunt Nita while making a drink without turning her face towards Nata.

“Oh. That's Cindy's guest with her papa mama, right? Why are they here tan?”

“It's just Cindy, you don't know?”

“Tau what?”

“Duh emang Athan did not tell you?”

Nata just shook his head while he was singing his lips.

“Athan it wants to be betrothed to Cindy. Later if you have graduated college they will also marry.”

“What? Athan was betrothed to Cindy?” ask me to repeat to make sure what you hear is not wrong.

“Iya. I used to be aunty want to drink this drink in the future used to not taste good as guests have been waiting for long. If you want to meet Athan later deh yes aunty tell him if you find him. Okay?” said aunt Nita then left Nata who was still in shock.

Nata was just speechless not to think that it happened and immediately I went running towards the swing that I used to call Athan the Swing of Friendship. Nata cried out all the pain of his heart, felt tight indeed when he knew it, not to mention he knew it when he was trying to express his feelings to Athan. Nata continued to cry until the makeup that had been neat now became a mess because of the tears. Shortly after Cindy and her family came home, Athan approached me on the swing. He sat down next to me and he seemed to see me crying, quickly wiping away the tears that fell on my cheek because I didn't want him to see me crying.

“Heh Nat, did you start me? What's up?”

“No papa kok.” Nata said while wiping his tears as if he did not want to look at Athan who was sitting next to him.

“Ah must be a lie, where might elo call me but not papa. So why cry?”

“No, I don't cry.” My words lied.

“Do not lie to Nat. I know you already from small, I know if you cry again, you must have a problem right? Story dong to me!”

“Gue no papa Than. What are you doing here anyway? Why not find Cindy inside?”

“She has come home earlier, keep saying mama earlier lo nyariin I yaudah I rush here.”

“Oh. Congratulations on your matchmaking with Cindy, hopefully lasting.” Nata said while hiding his sadness behind his fake smile.

“Haha yes-iya thanks. But you know where that came from? I haven't told elo.”

“Mama lo said to me.”

“Oh pantesan, emang ya nyokap it a really bucket even though only I want to tell you uh even already the same first nyokap.”

Nata just fell silent listening to Athan's rant.

“Eh Nat, so you were crying why? Because you know if I want to be betrothed?”

“Neg. Udah ah do not need to be discussed again, my males.”

“Ya already from lo sad, mendingan us walk while nyari equipment for MOS tomorrow. How?”

Not only did I answer but Athan immediately pulled my hand to get into his car. Wouldn't want me to go along with her.

The next morning, Athan picked me up at my house and he called me for fear of being late and his taxi was waiting outside.

“Patient little dong Than. How many do you see my hair? There are 17 tau according to the date of birth so bother tau.” Nata said a little upset that Athan was impatient.

“Ya already hunted the taxi was waiting from earlier.” Angered Athan.

“Iya-iya. I'm leaving mah pah, assalamualaikum.”

Athan and I went straight to campus for the first day of MOS. We both chose to take a taxi because we would be bothered later if we brought our own vehicles, not yet had time for Athan and I breakfast because of the rush of fear of being late, because, be us breakfast together with a sandwich made by mama Nata that we share two and we eat in a taxi. Arriving there, all of them were already seen preparing for the opening ceremony of the first day MOS. Athan and I immediately ran towards the back row at that time. After the ceremony, the MOS begins. The senior's face was sworn, they were like a very bully junior. The first time we were told the line, I saw a man who had been watching me since I first set foot on this campus. The man barely blinked to see me. I think the man was also a senior at this campus but did not participate in Mos and just deliberately sat on the bench under the big tree, a place usually used by students to study or just sit around. The senior who was mOSing I thought I was daydreaming and did not listen to him speak, so I was told to get out of line and asked to ask for an autograph on a senior who seemed to be really senior on campus. With a feeling of heaving I tried to approach the person who was listening to music while relaxing under the tree.

“Excuse me Brother,” greet me trying to call him.

“Ngapain you here? The other children are on the line according to their respective majors for MOS. What is elo?” senior brother replied, Judes.

“Iya I used to join their same line but because I was daydreaming so I was told to get out of line and kept asking for brother's signature as punishment.”

“Award signature? It's good lo! Who told you to dream of ospek?”

“But brother, I don't daydream. Come on, brother Leon for his signature!”

“But to be a junior have dared to call my name again. You know where you call me?”

“That's in the alma mater jacket sister will have her name, Leon Hadi Samantha.”

“Oh yes I forgot the writing. Duh why I am the bego anyway.”

“No! It's good you said. It's so bad you're a new kid. Belagu very!” Leon said emotion then pushed Nata down.

“Aww..” Nata.

Quickly, the guy who had noticed Nata from the chair under the tree immediately rushed up to Nata and Leon was. Athan who witnessed the incident actually did not have the heart to see Nata fall, but he could not do anything because he himself was in the law. It was this guy who came to save Nata.

“Hey, why are you? Which one hurts?” ask the guy to panic himself.

“Aww..” Nata can only moan in pain on the right knee and also his right elbow that was injured until it bled. The guy actually scolded the senior named Leon earlier, who he was a friend of the guy.

“Heh Leon! Don't be rude, dong is a girl! Don't think I didn't see it, I saw it all. Then he just asked for an autograph, why did you even push him to fall anyway? How are you doing?” angry that guy at Leon.

“Iya I know, but relax aja dong bro! I also accidentally kali.”

“Don't you accidentally say lo? Obviously you deliberately push him still ngeles lo. Loe knew the rules themselves when the MOS was not to hurt new students. Loe didn't realize he had made a wound until it bled? That's a sign that Loe broke the rules. Or do you want me to report to the chairman of the MOS committee so that you are punished all?”

“Eh yes do not dong bro, can run out I if you report to the committee chairman. Please don't dad!! I'm sorry deh.”

“You should apologize to him not the same I.”

“Iya, I'm sorry yes the deck was accidentally swearing.”

“Yes, gapapa kok.”

“Yaudah do not repeat again, lo inget it!”

“Iya-iya sorry.”

“You're not papa? I healed the wound?” the guy said it was nice to me.

“No need, just a small wound will heal itself.”

“Can't be that, a wound like gini if not diobatin can be an infection. I am the same as you, huh?” said the guy a little forceful for my safety. I also nodded. The guy immediately carried me and took me to the seat he was sitting on while watching me.

“Sorry yes can not take you to UKS because the usual bring the key has not come so can not enter deh. But you calm down, I'll do you a favor.”

“Iya gapapa, thank you very much sis.”

“Yes, you were even diem anyway the same as Leon?” said the guy while taking out the P3K box from his bag and immediately treating me.

“Yes, how dare I fight senior. Oh yes, brother why is it so good with me? And I keep seeing from the first I came like my sister's watching me continue huh? Hmm but it's not that I'm interested, I just want to know what I see is real or not.”

“Hahaha you are funny yes, I was from earlier worried about you so that's why I saw you called Leon I hurriedly nolongin you.”

“But what's the reason you're worried about me? Is there something strange about me?”

“No, I love to see your beautiful and sweet face that there are no bosses tau.”

“This brother can be aja deh.” I blushed in shame.

“Haha yes dong. Okay the wound is done.”

“Still yes brother.”

“Samasama. Oh yeah, whose name are you? What college majors are here?”

“I'm Natasha Fahira, commonly called Nata. Law majors.”

“Oh your name is funny yes, unique is haha.”

“Makasih haha's. Oh yes, brother himself?”

“I'm Adam, medical school boy now semester 4.”

“Oh prospective doctor turns out, just can there is a P3K box in his bag.“

“Haha yes it is, not a medical school boy dong name if the P3K box is not in his bag.”

“Hahaha yes-iya bener tuh.”

After chatting for a long time, Adam actually invited me to accompany him to breakfast at a restaurant near campus. At first, I refused because my MOS that day wasn't over. But Adam's brother insisted and he would let me go to the MOS committee because of the condition of my feet and hands that still hurt. After that, Adam walked me home and saw Athan waiting on the swing and looking frantically for my whereabouts. As soon as I got out of Adam's car by the road while being led by Adam's brother. Athan came straight to me and looked so panicked. Just arrived, I was treated to questions that were piling up from Athan because he was worried about me. I told Athan everything from A-Z, as soon as he understood and I introduced Adam to him, then Adam's brother could go home quietly.

After almost a week I knew Adam's brother, me and him were getting closer and even had a more serious relationship, more precisely we were dating. After college, after Adam's brother shot me and we were together, the first person I met was Athan to give him this happy news.

“Athan!” call me while running towards where he is.

“Nat, I want to talk to you lo.”

“Athan, you should know. I just got shot by Adam and now we're dating. I swear and you were the first person I told you about. It feels so good, Than!” nata said flowery.

“Oh.. congratulations yes.” Athan said suddenly his face paled.

“Still. Anyway from now on you do not have to bother anter pick me up again to campus, to the bookstore, to the mall and you can freely do anything without the need I have to ngerepotin lo keep.”

“But I was repotined the same lo, Nat. it turns out I was late, I was the same first brother Adam. Though just now I want to realize my feelings to elo, Nat. unfortunately I'm late.”

“Than? How are you even dumb? Do I not feel like I have to take lo again? Yaudah anyway you do not need to be sad, yes, I want to enter the house and keep getting ready ntar malem brother Adam want to take me on the road. Okay well? Babay.” In the spirit of 45 Nata immediately entered the house and prepared. Meanwhile, Athan was still fixated in silence in the weaving that had been swayed by the wind, until that night came and Athan was still sitting there despite having to see his beloved friend go with others. Until finally, such a scene was very common in the eyes of Athan, even though now Athan has been betrothed to Cindy and will soon get married after their graduation.

Nata was now getting used to seeing Athan with Cindy, slowly Nata was able to forget his feelings for Athan and was replaced by Adam's brother who is now his lover. Actually, Athan and I both know each other's true heart that we have harbored these feelings of love but we realize that we can never be united more than friends. Therefore, we decided to live our lives with a partner who has now stopped. Since then, we have never played together again, never sat around in the weaving together again, like little friends in the past. Now, the swing is just a display and seems to have no meaning. But, forever the swing will continue to be a silent witness to the story of friendship of two people who will never be united by love as time passes. Now, after me and Athan's graduation. Athan and his family and Cindy's family are now moving to Bali to have their wedding and live to settle there, I have planned a wedding with Adam's brother who has now become a doctor. Perhaps this is what is called destiny, friends will never be love. Moreover, due to the difference in belief between us, God is fair. Although Athan and I cannot be together, we can at least be happy with the people we love and forever Athan and I will be friends.