Loving You Secretly
Unrequited Love
“Vi, no new gossip!”
“Oh yes? What?”
“Renald ma Titi has been really tight lately. Maybe they..”
“Jadian?”
“Maybe.”
“Good.”
There was a bit of pain in my heart when I heard the bird. When I talk about it. Titi, my dear friend in college. We are always happy in anything. So is Nindy who is also a struggle with me and Titi. We came with a different background, a different one. But, I felt that there was something that I didn't know about myself until it was able to unite the three of us in the same feelings and thoughts.
At the end of this semester, our class held a visit at the institution to see the implementation of the sciences obtained from college. We, a class of about 30 people visited a pretty good health agency and learned directly from there. It's stunning! The world of work turned out to be very much different from what I had imagined. More challenging. Heavier. That's his reality. The journey will be unforgettable! The best moment!
“Nindy, Titi really again deket am Renald?” slowly say.
“Ngak! They are not so but it is funny to see them. Especially so, no?”
“Hmm.”
“Why? You don't agree that they are made?”
“Mm... No! I agree if they are made,” I replied doubtfully.
“Eh, look at Titi! He's on the road with Renald. Samperin yuk?”
“I wait here aja deh Nin,” I said while leaning on a bench.
I don't know why I felt I couldn't bear to watch Titi get too close to Renald. There is something that makes me dislike their closeness. Nindy also undoes her intentions and accompanies me leaning on the bench. Time stopped for a moment. When I realized, there were two figures of extremely familiar beings standing in front of me. Sparks of fire fell down in the depths of my heart and I felt a deep pain.
“Vi, go there yuk! We can take pictures there. Tuh look! The view is really good. Yuk!” take Renald who is still standing in front of me.
“Mm... I...” my word is unresolved.
“Udahlah, come!” said Renald while pulling me in the direction he pointed.
I can't resist it. I can only follow his steps. Nindy and Titi followed us behind. I still wonder to myself. What the hell is going on with me? What does this feeling mean? I can't possibly like Renald. HE IS NOT MY TYPE! (Consider the writing! Capital letters, bold, and underlined. So, very clear.) Yupz! Renald is not my type. I like guys who look neat, pinter, cute, and not shy anyway.
While Renald is a person who has no shame, crazy, sense of humor exceeds the threshold. Especially yeah? Saucy? Not really! A pinter? Far! Far! The point is that the characteristics of Renald no one entered my criteria. This is what confused me. If she's not my type, why don't I like her deket ama Titi? Could my type have changed? No! No! Turned into a Renald level? No way!!!
“Vi, I love our same class girl,” Renald said one morning.
“Oh yes? Good though. You normally like girls,” I replied ngasal.
“I'm serious, Vi! But I don't think I can get him. Anyway I'm just fans and I don't expect to find him.”
“Oh yes?” I replied with half a heart nanggepin Renald.
“Why are you today? Any more problems?” Renald asked after realizing my disinterest in venting or the story.
“No problem. Just normal,” I said as I left Renald just like that.
I'm actually interested in Renald's story. I want to know who Renald likes, which of course I wish it wasn't me. However, my feelings that I did not yet understand masked my interest in it. I chose to go and avoid Renald and I hope I'm not in love with Renald who is 100% not my type. I'm sure, sure enough, he is not my type!
“Vi, just now Renald said he likes our classmates.”
“You know who that girl is?”
“Titi. She likes Titi. I think it will be exciting if they are made, yes not?” titi asked with a face as bright as the shining sun to hear the news.
“Iya. Exciting too,” I replied briefly.
There is still a little bad taste in the heart. Eentah. Either sad. I don't know what to call it. For sure I'm afraid that I'm in love with Renald. I'm afraid to get unwanted love again. I'm afraid unrequited love is greeting me back. I fear when the person I love chooses someone else, my best friend. Suddenly my phone rings.
“Hallo!”
“Hallo! Vi, this afternoon there is no time?” ask for a voice from across.
“There. Why, Tomy?”
“Out yuk? Want to?”
“Where?”
“To where. I'm still at home!”
“Okay.”
“Then I am samperin in an hour.”
“Okay. See yes!”
That afternoon I went with Tomy and forgot Renald, everything about Renald. I'm with Tomy, my first love, my unrequited love. Someone I've loved for years. The one who made me hold on to my feelings for years because I couldn't express them to Tomy.
“Tomy..”
“Why Vi?”
“I seneng can still meet you.”
“I'm also grinning,” says Tomy.
Evening came to replace the afternoon that accompanied my togetherness with Tomy. It was the conviction that made me realize that he (Renald) is not my type. The togetherness that made me realize never to choose another. The company that made me never stop loving her. Togetherness that grows my hope in someone even though they have to wait, wait and wait for some time. Waiting until there comes a time for me to get her love. My waiting will always be beautiful because sincerity accompanies it, because love does not have to have.
* I dedicate it to people who may never realize that someone close to them has loved them for a long time,
that someone close is unable to express his love,
expressing deep feelings because you never realized it.
And for people who still harbor feelings, and,
Enjoy that wait
Until you can reveal it,
And never regret
when you have unrequited love
because all of that will only be the past in the end
