Loving You Secretly

Resentment

All gathered together into one when selfishness, anger, annoyance and love hit no one can understand at that time. Maybe only I can understand, there are many friends who try to calm my mind but it seems like what they tell me has not hit the heart…

I asked my own heart over and over again. But still selfishness and stubbornness my mind is not synchronized with the contents of the heart, so as to make it a nestapa. I assume all this is a phase of life maybe not only I have ever felt something like this called ‘resah rasa’…

I tried to assign all the fret in my heart to God, by making love against the Qibla. I pray to the Khalik, to the one who has life. At that time God has not answered, and I understand that, God will not answer the prayers of His people directly need a process and time to wait for His answer…

I continue to live my life still with fretful feeling full of wishful thinking that does not want to go, I do not worry anymore will fret that feeling because I enjoy and grateful to fret that feeling. And I let it all shackle in my heart, I continued to curl up to fight for a feeling so real so close even without a bulkhead…

And now I realized actually fretting this is the taste of ‘love’ that was intended for him, while at that time I had not realized it so I was shackled by the restless sense of uncertainty. It's all so annoying turns out…

Now I try to attract his attention by greeting him first, at that time he was with his best friend. Actually I'm a little embarrassed to say hello, but what I want to say is my heart is stubborn, hmm so happy my heart when he greeted me back…

Now I think sometimes happy and happy is no different, because both of them can not make me sleep. As the time goes by my closeness and he gets more familiar and ‘resah rasa’ may not exist, which is now ‘rebah rasa’…

One day I asked him to see the lord of heaven and the lady of twilight who was orange, it was beautiful at that time because there was only me, him, the universe and God there, watching the beauty of the lord of ufuk and the mistress of dusk is making love on an almost dark day…

Our hearts are in the middle of the past, our minds are in the mood, and our feelings are always coming. I tried to hypocrite this taste but what? I can't deny the most sincere taste of the power, maybe this is God's answer to me, I'm hugged pus without flinching to care. My heart is now lying down wanting to embrace you lulled by a false hope that I will not hope and neither will I turn away…

I was so excited about the moon on this lonely night without stars around, I kept pondering, pondering over me and you to be us. It's hard to align 2 different hearts to be 1 and maybe I'm not smart enough to captivate her, but if there's a little bit of heart space to stop by I'll never hurt, I promise…

Time goes on, days change, the moon changes and now I continue to hold 2 hearts that are not even at all only I love him without reply. It's not that I can't turn to another heart but it's about stubborn feelings so I'm sorry if I keep trying again and again.

You fly me a lot You drop me a lot, that's great for me because that's why I learned how to fly with you happy and how to get back up when I was dropped by you, often I hear the word ‘maaf’ coming out of your mouth, I don't need to apologize from you all I need is understanding from you that's all… don't bother you making me jealous because I've fallen and been able to get back up…

I'm here to hold on for you, for my love for you is also spruce. Although you often quibble and deny your own race but I know actually you also put a sense of love for me. Various ways have I done to believe your feelings but my heart is very hard still not want to expand I will not be tired to stop trying even though until you hurt me as much and as you want, your heart, because my heart is already fixated on you…

Cemara, that's the name of the woman I love she's a super cute woman but I'm being lulled by her and I can't pretend there's no sense in her. My patience has been tested, my confidence is certain to be able to stop in his heart even though his heart is still reluctant to give me the slightest gap…

My heart is now burning with no passion when I find out you're in an approach with gabriel, oh. It's enough to make me sigh and make my heart dag dig dug ser made.

I know some people are destined to come to your heart to love, love and hurt you. Even so, you must still believe around you there are still people who can love and love you without hurting, ‘see your parents, your brother, the universe and I’

Not long ago I heard the news that the spruce and gabriel had truly become romantically entwined, at that moment my heart was troubled. My mind was swayed by the roar that hit me violently, I no longer know how and what to do at that time. Really now you're dropping me really into the bottom that makes it hard to reach.

As I walked by the time I saw the firmer and gabriel more and more unbearable by the soul, in my heart I assigned, ’what is your way to make me stay away from you? there is no other way, other than this you make love right in front of my eyes that you have given me false hope…

Here I do not give up but let my loved ones be happy with others, I will always pray for you and pray for you to answer me and then I will always miss you even though I am not missed by you and I will always be like me without anything different from either side…

For now let the pain test me, mature me, make me stronger, make me learn and introduce me to gratitude without any resentment…

Right now in a hugging silence, I just want to be shut down but your shadow is so persistent it dwells on my weary crackers.Even in every corner of my small world, your silhouette traces to its side. There is no more anxiety, it's just how complicated it is to parse one story after another that I have chosen in the heart. How strong you are there, while I am so tired. Until never after I renovate the pieces scattered because of you…

The mind that kept shouting called out your name that became more and more intimate with gabriel, making the restless feeling re-unraveled around the court of my heart. The mind that grumbles cannot withstand the pain created by you and because of him…

Right now a fuss, a fuss, a frown envelops the mood but I won't let my life get upset!!! Look someday you'll salute even kneel asking for my heart…

Once upon a time I asked even though in my silence, if I could roll time? it turns out it's not about time. It is only His desire and will for the scenario of life about me and presenting you at the bottom of my time is His way, of sincerity in love and sincerity in accepting the real reality…

The night gets further and tired not only makes me closed, until now your stop is still quiet. The deadly verdict made me choose to step away and let you judge me as you pleased. Until silence hugged me and did not release me, until the owner of Love and eternity met me by His way…

The moonlight will slowly disappear and change the sun which is a sign of new hope I will achieve. Nature's rotation forms a time without tolerance!! A lot of things flail over me, is time on my side? there must be a time when this time is still not on my side and I am still grateful for it…

JUST SO YOU KNOW ‘RASA GRATEFUL I NEVER KNEW THE WORD TIREY’

‘Cup cup don't cry baby’ beautiful words that cool the heart when I'm sad about something… it turns out that growing up and waiting for love is a much painful and even sad thing and looking for a sincere figure for a conscience conditioner is very complicated…

Where is my soul? Are you running where he is? I don't know.it was a divine secret that was very secret and still sealed…

Cemara now you are happy with gabriel people you may have known only a few months, now your happiness is also happy even though you are happy not with me. I always pray that you and him be in tune until your hair bleaches…

The journey is still long now let me spell out my personal before picking up the dream. Thank you so much I say you only give hope to me without certainty, now let this sweet story sail with a hick, even though in the middle of the journey, the shipwreck drowned and made it a memory…