Loving You Secretly

My love is Semanis Gulali

I walked out of class with Bella. Down the stairs and walk through the school garden again until finally out of school. Not a bad day but a pretty stressful day, today's lesson made my nerves tense.

“Bell, I can't go home with”

“Where are you going?” ask Bella

“Mau samperin mom in front of her gramed, bias”

“Oh, okelah”

“I first ya Bell” pamitku

“Daah Dian”

I started walking in the opposite direction to Bella, down a less crowded street. Enter one of the most famous malls in the city. My head looked to the left and right, watching everyone who was dressed just like me, yep! My schoolmates.

“Mama!” I managed to surprise my mother who seemed to have been waiting for me.

“Dian! Mom is surprised to know!”

“Sorry ma” I looked down scared scolded mama

“No papa dear, where to eat?” ask mom while embracing me.

“Di foodcourt aja ma” reply quickly

“Foodcout top or bottom?” ask mama again

“Aja aja deh ma” I wrestled spoiled in the arms of mama while traveling to the escalator

“Why not on the foodcourt down?”

“Take on top ma”

My mom and I arrived on the 3rd floor. Top floor of this mall. Arriving at the foodcourt, I turned my face to the right, eh how do I ever see in school? I asked in my heart. I once again noticed the table that was not too marginal.

“Yes God, it's Davi same Nifa sitting next door?” my voice was too slow, my heart began to ache, unbearable frowns began to shake my heart. I have a right to be angry? Of course not, I'm not the only friend who stopped by in his life.

“Dian, what's wrong with you? How to keep diem?” ask mama

I'm aware

“Dian no papa kok ma, yes already Dian pesen food first” I got up and walked to one of the counters, while observing the scenery that makes my legs limp. They are not alone but there are still Alfa and Gita. For me it doesn't matter if they sit next to each other, but not for Davi and Nifa! Nifa already has a boyfriend, why should I take someone else's booze? Where is Nature, does she not know what Nifa has done?

After ordering the food, I didn't dare to look at Davi anymore, it hurt me so many times to wait just ignored, then now? I don't want to remember him anymore.

—

“Yesterday Nifa participated in the same exercise you did not?” much

“Ngak sih”

“Means actually dong I saw him in the foodcourt with Davi, Gita, same Alfa” I resigned, and want to forget the worst memories.

“Davi?!” Lia.

I just nodded weakly trying to be steadfast.

“Davi sat next to Nifa” I tried not to be weak.

“Masa?!” Lia was still shocked.

I tried to calm down and didn't want to cry at all!

“Nifa said to me, if she wants to go with Nature, maybe Nature can't come”

“Why should Davi?”

Lia was silent, I was getting restless, I didn't understand what they meant?

“Yes maybe Davi was told to join Alfa” Lia stroking my shoulder. I sit still, who am I? Her boyfriend? Should I scold them? Shedding all the vexation that was stirring in my heart? God what should I do?

“Name where the hell?” I sighed, my heartache that I had repeatedly endured, was now beginning to appear and peaking again. The emotions I had been guarding also came out unconsciously

“They don't know my heart hurts like Lia!”

“Patience Di” Lia embraces me and leads me home

The sun began to submerge itself, and the moon began to appear itself alongside twinkling stars. I was still motionless from earlier, just looking at the sky while sitting on my balcony. I nodded, remembering the incident. I really have fought, for Davi and everything for Davi, what did he give me? Just the empty wind I got.

My struggle is always ignored. My attention is always being ended. My wait is always thrown down. I'm upset. Ja. I'm ill. Ja. I'm tired. Ja. Do I have the right to tell Davi? Does he deserve to know? God, I hope Davi knows what I mean, what I've been fighting for all along.

—

“Dian!” Call Lia who is waving her hands towards me.

I looked up and returned his hand. I stopped waiting for Lia who was running towards me.

“There is a task or PR?”

“No”

Lia and I walked together to class, until I met Icha and other friends.

“Ichaaa” call me while throwing the bag over to Bella's seat.

“Iya In?”

“Why are you sitting in my chair?”

“Yaa not papa”

“I want to tell”

“What?”

I told her everything I had all day yesterday with a pushy look from my eyes.

“Why the hell?” Ask Riska kepo.

I'm retelling it with, heart yaah. Not willingly.

“That kid is so in”

“Trus how should I dong? Angry times? Can not funny”

“Di, his son came tuh!”

Nifa walked gontai into the classroom. Observing the class, then taking out his phone as if he did not care.

“Do not know what girlfriend you have? Other people's children become victims” shouted Icha while insinuating Nifa

“Iya beauty pretender, Kasian loh Dian” Riska also satirize.

“Udahlah, kasian his son should not be shunned continue”

“You can't do that! She doesn't know who you really are, you should ask her ” Icha yells at me

“But I have no rights! I'm not who, I'm just.” My words are cut off I'm not sure I said that word.

“Just his ex?” connect Icha

I nodded weakly

“Di! You have to move on, you can't keep gini”

“But how? I can't move on and I don't want to move on!”

Icha was silent hearing my screams. I went back to pondering what to do, I hated it in this state.

“Lia, yesterday Davi gave me a birthday gift, the same was the one in MTD gulali itu” Nifa story

I heard him pretending I didn't know. Lia pity me, while I? What was I thinking? It hurts, yes. Expressing that feeling cannot.

“Di, later I buy you gulali too!” Icha insinuates Nifa again.

My head's dizzy. I just fell silent, what would Nifa want? Why should he take away the people I love? Wh why?

—

It alone can lift a shaken heart, but itself is lonely.

It alone can make the mind drift toward the past, but itself is silent.

It alone can make the mouth want to spit out various words, but itself is silent.

It alone can make the heart want to be accompanied, but itself is dead.

What I am thinking about right now is myself. How to forget someone who doesn't think of me. But it also takes a friend to tell the problem. What's more alone in the mall is not exciting at all. Lonely in the crowd.

Bruukkkc.

“Sorry, I accidentally”

“Iya no papa kok” while looking at the person who hit me.

I'm appalled. Oh God.

“Davi? Sorry I accidentally” I walked away from Davi.

“Wait” Davi holds my hand.

I was surprised, only this time my hand was held by a man.

“Why?” I hide my nervousness, I won't let my heart drift, nor will I let my brain keep thinking about Davi.

“Where are you going?” ask Davi

“I want to go home”

“You can't accompany me?”

“Where?”

“I want to go home”

“Do not go home, can I eat yuk?”

The deg! My heart started beating faster. My legs are limp, my hands are lunglali, I can't walk. Wants to speak but mouth is hard to speak. I have to how? Assented it? It's a golden opportunity I can be alone with Davi. Maybe if I refuse, the next day there is no such opportunity.

“Emm, yes deh” I hide my nervousness.

“What do you want to eat?”

I saw the gulali seller who was peddling the sweet candy, I immediately pointed to the candy gulalai.

“You sure you want that? Like a little kid,” Davi laughed at me. I just looked at it with a plain look.

“Child High School can also eat that right?” ask again.

Davi nodded.

I immediately took the gulali benform love. That's when my happiness started to appear. And I think my life is happy enough

Dear Davi

I know it's hard to force a love that never existed

But love can come because it is used to it, right?

I didn't expect us to be together

But what I hope for is a love that just keeps flowing for you…