Loving You Secretly

I Love Him

The murmur of the waves was boisterous, the occasional splashing of water washed away the droplets of sand that glistened into a rhythm that always sang melodious songs sneaking in my ear hole. As usual I enjoy and I always relax in the morning behind my house. Behind my house is so vast, not just broad. But it was very wide, spread a bluish but clear puddle that I could not see the end of. I know only that this is the base of the land, in this land, in the land that I am now stepping on my two feet.

Every now and then I glanced at the timid smiling sun that had appeared from the eastern ocean, the longer the smile became clear. So bright, like a light bulb ready to light up in every room when the dark comes.

The birds began to come out of the nest looking for breakfast for their children.dancing on the expanse of the ocean that stretches, so beautiful, so tempting, and spoiling every eye that sees it. Not to forget the name of Riski Agung Pratama which is lined up like fishing boats that come out of the end of the ocean which is getting bigger and bigger. Riski Agung Pratama a familiar name in my five senses, almost every second of my pulse flowed the name Riski Agung Pratama.

Not a girlfriend, because we never have a word to be made. Even though people around me say we're dating. Not a friend, because I don't want to be in his heart like other friends. And certainly we do not have a TTM-an relationship. I don't care when she's swarmed by girls who might someday want to be on her date. Likewise with him, I do not know how he responded to my closeness with the guys around me who are also ready to hunt me who I was granted by God a beautiful face, a beautiful face, so that not a few eyes of men who glanced at me or amazed at me. Plus my attitude is very easy to get along with even people I just knew. And I can only keep my attitude when I'm with him.

People say that if we have no jealousy, we have no love. Is this really not love? But honestly I can't lose it either. I am happy when I am with him, the streets are just looking for a beauty and I also appreciate all his sincerity to me. The sincerity of a lover towards his lover or the sincerity of a friend to his best friend or perhaps the sincerity of a brother to his brother. I don't know either. I was obviously happy with the attention he had been given to me all this time.

The higher the sun, the more the light feels hot stinging Village where I was born, Tanjung Mas is not cool anymore like his smile when he came. I also have to hurry to get ready to live my life routine. Life as a student. Student of Faculty of English, IAIN Walisongo Campus Semarang.

I spoke to the sea, to the birds, to the sun that accompanied my morning. Maybe they'll cry with my excitement, maybe they'll even be happy about my loss. I don't know either. I can only hope that they will faithfully accompany me tomorrow morning.

“breakfast non” pinta mbok Nah who saw me enter from the back porch while carrying my drink glass whose contents I had spent was not left.

“iya mbok, I want to shower first” I replied to mbok Nah who was never tired to prepare food for my family from morning to come morning again.

After taking a shower and ready to leave, I saw the phone from earlier in my bed. Two missed calls, I opened and the name of Riski Agung Pratama is listed on the mobile screen. I can only smile sweetly when I see and read it, I can do nothing but disappointment at my ignorance when Riski Agung Pratama called me. How else do I want to call back also I am ready to leave, it can also cause me to be late for college. So let.

With a maximum speed of 80km/h I geber the speed of my favorite matic motorbike, overtaking each other with the bus that will enter or the bus from inside the Terboyo terminal which is not far from where I live. and also the Boja city bus that sometimes stops, just to drop off passengers or carry passengers, including some students of IAIN Walisongo, which will later be dropped off at Jl. Profs. Dr. Hamka Ngaliyan Semarang is right in front of their campus and my campus as well.

“Love?” a voice called out my name in the parking lot. I'm right and left is Rita.

“iya Rit,” reply me with a smile and raise my hand.

“how her PR” asked impatient Rita to see my work

“beres boss.” Confidently I took out the paper from my bag that hung on my shoulder.

“hahh?” Rita was just dumbfounded when she saw the paper I brought.

I also returned the bells with my astonishment that did not know what Rita meant, while asking myself if there was anything wrong with the paper.

“aduh Love dear,” as soon as he called me the familiar greeting of our friendship.

“you know not now what college eyes?” he added with a lot of question marks swirling over his head.

“statistics” my answer is relaxed

“ini what paper?” linguistic papers were presented to me.

It turned out that I was wrong to print our task, understandably when I finished it I interspersed with my busyness reply to a message with Riski Agung Pratama who does not know what is now in the neighboring city.

“hehehe, sorry dear Rita, I was wrong bring my bright” answered Rita's worries over my mistake.

I take my bike again and go straight to the gas with Rita to the nearest cafe, it is customary for every task of my college to be completed directly I uploaded to the website so as not to be lost inedible by the virus and can also be opened anywhere when we need. After all, now the cafe is no longer a rare place, even now in the villages already know what a cafe is.

Today was so fun with some of the events on campus. And occasionally Riski Agung Pratama appeared with me through Sort Message Send in my phone. Yeah, I'd rather have her on my phone than her presence in front of me, because that would make me feel wrong. And requires myself to be as direct as possible in front of him.

Tomorrow is Sunday, that means tomorrow I have no college, no assignments of course. Again I passed the Sunday night alone and confused with thoughts that I did not know who was in it. That's how I went through my weeknights, unlike the typical teen Sunday nights that he says are great nights for dating.

My fingers began to dance to the letter by letter that was on my laptop keypad, wanting me to confide everything in my mind to my Lord. I'm sure he'll hear me and give me what's best for me.

Tanjung mas, December 08, 2012

Yeah Rob, yeah,

I know everything that happens in my life is none other than Your will.

I can't afford to put my foot on, though,

I waved my hand and moved all my organs

without your permission.

I know you won't give me more trials than I can. And of course the best thing you're gonna give me.

Yeah Rob, yeah,

I'm confused by the feeling you've given me,

I don't know if it's a miss or just a curiosity

meet with my best friend.

I was confused by my love coming to each other and

makes me unable to anchor my heart. So too with names

Riski Agung Pratama's. My tongue can't say “iya” for him

and also say “no” for him without your word

Yeah Rob, yeah,

To Thee I leave all, for You are the regulator

all life and electorate are best for Your servants.

I print and I take the old bottle in my house, and I put it in my hand and throw it out to sea as far as I can throw it. That way is what I often do if I have a problem, either venting me or just greeting my miss to Riski Agung Pratama. I don't care who finds and reads it. Because I can't possibly say my miss to her, in front of her. Although sometimes I want to say in front of him, maybe he will feel happy after hearing it, and maybe he will be angry with me when he hears it.

As the day went on, the sun still came to spread a smile as dawn arrived and drowned as dusk picked him up, getting lost from sight and the world felt dark without its light. Until finally I received a piece of red heart paper with a light blue ribbon inscribed “married: Riski Agung Pratama bin H. Nur Said with Neila Khansa binti Ibrahim” my heart was so hit, my feathers were goosebumps, my hair was shivering, my eyes began to drift and I could not stand the more I could stand the drops by the tears that flowed and then wet my cheeks.

Instantly it was like I was tearing up, burning scorched and even throwing the paper into the middle of the ocean to sink. But all of that will not change the content of the writing. I cried, I moaned, I was sorry, I felt lost. One thing I know for sure: Follow your heart when it has wanted you so much. Your heart never does anything wrong, because that's what you ask for. Now or later, when you can no longer and regret yourself.