Loving You Secretly
Half of Me
And it happened again…
An old story that repeats itself…
You're hurt again…
Of the complicated love you live…
My name is Cakka Nuraga, a guy who is very very lucky to have a friend like Oik Ramdlani, she is a very very beautiful girl, smart, kind hearted, supple, and many I can not reveal it.
I'll try to tell you about Oik, let's hear me out.
Hmm, I and Oik have been friends for a long time, since we were in elementary school, where I was, there was Oik. Until our High School we were still friends, I was so happy to be by her side, to see her laugh, to see her smile, her smile so beautiful, rivaling the beauty of the faithful sun present every morning.
Well, but I started feeling different when we were growing up, a feeling I couldn't neutralize, a feeling that popped when I faced him, my heart pounded 3 times faster, I was embarrassed when I got close to him. I don't understand, I don't understand all these feelings. What is this feeling?
I tried to be ordinary in front of him, the same when he told me about the guys close to him.
“Sakka I just made up with Alvin loh.”
“Cakka I just made up with Debo loh.”
“Cakka bla bla bla”
hahaha, I'm very happy to hear that, but know it, Ik. My heart was broken, broken, the feeling was like being watered by hot water, withering and dying. But with that sun-like smile of yours, that feeling grew back into a powerful thing even though you were happy because of someone else, not because of me.
But, my heart was sad when I saw the tears on your face, why are you my little angel, don't cry. My heart was broken seeing my sun grim, my sun was covered in black clouds of grief. I was sad when you hugged me, crying in my arms, because of the jerks who broke your heart. Realize, there I am! There was me who accompanied you and never hurt you!
I wanted…
You feel…
You understand I understand you…
I want you to realize…
Your love is not her…
The days I spent with you, my little elf, my morning sun.
And behold! Today you again look sad and tear on your cheek.
You cry again, my love.
I hugged her, My heart cried seeing you as weak and helpless as this. I began to realize that what I felt was Love, I love you, Ik. If only you knew, and I wanted you not to know. I don't want to add to your burden any more, I hope you can understand my gestures, that I love you the same. I'm pretty happy to see you smile, even if it wasn't for me.
But, look! You're crying now, and I'm grateful, so far you haven't cried because of me. Oik, I always pray for the best for you, even if you never realize me.
Little Fairy, do not torture yourself by loving the wrong people, open your eyes! Look who your true love really is! Not him! Not them! Wasn't…
Listen laraku…
This voice calls your name…
Because half of me…
Yourselves…
I feel like a cowardly man, unable to express his feelings, but, Ik. Know that I feel close to you, very close to you, feeling at one with you. And that might envy all the men who want you. I'm happy, if you're happy.
I just want to see my morning sun continue to shine with its aura of happiness.
I was right here…
Understand you're never alone…
I am always near you when you fall…
I want you to feel…
You understand I understand you…
I want you to understand…
Your love is not her…
The morning sun, I felt all your sadness at that moment.. My heart is shocked, restless, agitated.
How could you possibly get the disease, I knew the burden on your heart at the time. I-i know.
You must be steadfast, Kidney Failure Disease that you suffer is nothing compared to your current light that must continue to shine.
Be strong, Ik, be patient. Remember that! You still have God, your parents, your friends and you have me, Ik.
Oh, don't you cry. I don't want your light to be covered by a cloud of gray black and replaced by a speck of rain as your tears. Don't cry, come here. Come near me, I will try to wipe away those tears as best I can. Because I am you, I love you.
Listen laraku…
All your wounds are mine…
Because half of me…
Yourselves….
Maybe this is the destiny that God chose for you, I want to take the time to write this diary before the accident happened, I want to write down all my heart before the decision to donate my kidney for you I take. I hope you will read it, because after you read it I hope there are no tears in your eyes, I just want your beautiful smile. And my Morning Mentari can shine back to shine the world with her beautiful smile. Take care of my last gift, Ik. Don't cry anymore, I don't like it. Don't get me wrong choosing whoever deserves you. Fight with the kidney I gave you, continue your life with passion. Because there are still many hearts and souls who want to be illuminated with your soul-warming sunshine, like you who always shine on my heart. I Love you, Ik. I will be with you because half of me is in you, because I am you.
I Love you last and forever 🙂
Oik closed the sea-blue book, his lips quivering, trying to resist the cry and regret was incredible. He even just found out that the kidney in his body belongs to Cakka. Oh lord! How foolish he was to realize that a great and true love was all around him, he was so sorry to find out after it was too late.
“Cakka, I'm sorry. I also love you.” he said softly, his tears fell on the sand of the beach. He rose from his place and looked at the twilight sun.
“I hope you can feel my love reply from up there, Kka. Sorry me, I love you too.” he said again with tears that kept dripping down the sand of the sea, he walked away from that place. The sea is calm, and the end of the bed of the sun is twilight, when the morning sun has done its job.
Wusshhh…! The wind blows through the sand of the beach and incised a word on it.
Cakka is Oik's.
