Loving You Secretly
A Different Love
Two friends. Men and women love each other. They both make a lot of difference, but they are the ones who can cover that difference with each other. Perhaps their faith breathed in the love of friendship. Which makes both of their beautiful smiles combined into a tangle of affection, but not like two friendships. The two hearts between them understood each other, understood and taught affection gently. Lydia and Kevin.
Meet in a surau on December 25, 2003. During the celebration of Christmas for Christians, Kevin and his friends enjoy the belief and beautiful celebration of the day, cool as cool as a soul that metamorphoses with beautiful jasmine flowers or others around the surau near his church. Since then, there has been a bond of friendship between Lidia and Kevin. They start playing together, cycling, even if one droplet is seen between one friend, there will be a complement with a smile. The smile of a true friend, who never tires of teaching kindness and fortitude when everyone is away even though his friend is wrong even though he is always together. No wonder if they are said like people dating.yes it is more appropriate if a pair of brothers, understand the number of togetherness since they were 6 years old, it has been 9 years now. Always the same, there are always simple memories of laughter or kite games that they used to play.
“Li remember our childhood playing like this?”
“don't ngaco Kev by the way, rich just now we sahabatan haha”
Currently Lydia educated her brain, honing herself in Junior High School 3 Kenanga Raya, while Kevin attended school at SMP Citra Raya. Despite their different customs and beliefs, they are always convinced that one of them is unlikely to leave a friendship even if there is no customary common ground. It is they who will deliver the true lantern of friendship, so that they feel how glorious their story is with eternal difference.
One day, they promised to go home from school together. Kevin was waiting for Lydia in front of the school, the plan they wanted to go to the cafeteria just to drink fanta water. It turns out that Lydia met her friends, then she joined and invited Kevin to meet. Lydia was a bit tomboyish, like not memorable as a woman, the beauty of her body was visible, it was very dear to her God who saw. her attitude alone while drinking was not polite. Lidia's panties were visible and Kevin had a glimpse of them as well. With an amused feeling, Kevin cleared his throat and said
“em... who's the one whose underwear looks red again. wow... hehehehe”. Spontaneously, Lidia was shocked and realized that she meant Kevin. Lidia dragged Kevin out of the school cafeteria and said
“You're nothing vin! I don't know how people feel! I'm ashamed!”.
“Sorry my dear Lydia, I'm kidding, besides you don't know any manners either! Girls should be feminine little why, your beauty is not seen from the beauty you dress up or dress that does not cover up. Your own mother would have said that, I just don't forget?”.
Lydia slightly understood what Kevin meant, she fell silent, flashing through her mind summarizing some of the grand words she heard.
“meaning what you said I was going to show you, I was wrong. Sorry, baby? we go home yuk!” holding Kevin's hand.
“Li ntar I play to your house can you? Aunty wants to bake her cake?”
“Iya play aja. I feel lonely when you go”
What a look Kevin had after Lidia said it felt different.
In the afternoon, Kevin invites Llidia to relax in the park near the house while eating cake.
“Vin?”
“hem?”
“gitu very, ngliat I kek if again by the way, I would not like to be asked by you”
“hem”
“not sensitive!”
A few minutes Lidia silenced her best friend, her stomach was amused from behind, Kevin must have been on purpose, he thought. Lydia got up and ran down the earth's groove around the park and Kevin chased after her. Really it reminded the little elf who used to joke around with each other laugh with her prince. Six years ago.
After a long time playing chases, Kevin invited Lidia to chat in the park.
“Li? Lo diem aja? I was wrong?”.
“Cape doang, pinch you hard earlier, pain Vin”
“Yes, how do you wear such a dress anyway? not usually mamerin aurat. You're more beautiful in a veil. I remind you in kindness, it's your God's guidance, right? You forgot again said mother?”. Kevin looked into his little friend's eyes.
“Eh em the weather is very hot”
“Whatever heat I will make you comfortable, but you do not gini again huh? Promise?”
My God, is this Kevin's caress? Don't break our brotherly love, I don't want this burly palm to stop stroking and holding me gently. Let every inch of it always offer beauty.
As the day went on, the solar lantern that afternoon might somewhat burn the grievances of those who felt it. So they just relax waiting for dusk to show themselves to clash with the face of the night.
Time shows at 01:00 noon. Lidia felt very dizzy, she could not accompany Kevin to basketball lessons at the place of Mr. Dian. So he went to see Kevin at school for permission to go home first. While talking to Kevin, suddenly there was a drop of blood coming from Lydia's nose.
“Iya Vin so I'm here to.”.
“Show that blood stick out of your tiny nose?” Kevin felt lied to. He was worried, he was shocked, he felt numbered two about Lydia's trust in him.
Lidia was worried, lest this naughty disease would show her greatness interfere with my life in front of my own best friend. For a moment of observation, Kevin cleaned the growing blood from my nose, feeling a very soft touch of cotton.
“why Lydia never told me about her illness. Why did he have the heart to keep this a secret on his own sahabt” That was Kevin's conversation with his heart's eyes.
“So what are you hiding from me?”
“Just dizzy”
“Pusing thought of me? That's why you never told me the same?”
“No but I'm not papa, really Vin”
Lydia hid it in Kevin's arms. He doesn't want Kevin to destroy his secret. He didn't want to talk at the time. He just wants to enjoy the good times with his best friend.
Since Kevin learned about Lydia's disease from Mother, Kevin never again invited Lydia to play like before. He was afraid that anything would happen if Lydia continued to be overloaded and her illness recurred. Penetrating Lydia's happiness. Kevin has to focus on his new girlfriend. Via.
Almost every day Kevin is always with Via, whether it's going home from school, eating together, learning to church they are always together. Lidia had seen her best friend with Via when she was about to go to the mosque, for some reason Lydia felt very sick, this feeling was not flowering, she said, nor was the jasmine that Kevin gave her every moment. It felt like Lydia was waiting for a miracle if she had to leave the peace of the city and the turmoil of her heart. Lydia jealous. Yes what about the sweet story and all the sadness that they passed for 15 years had to be separated just because of a drop of blood as proof? Lidia is unemployed that Kevin has forgotten her and because Kevin already knows her illness, Lidia feels her best friend is disgusted to be close to her. Lydia always locked herself in the house. She always cries. But in the depths of his heart, he would still behave as he used to, when the cancer had not invaded his brain.
One day, Lydia was determined to meet Kevin when the graduate announcement was made. He wanted to see a flash of a charming smile, which made his eyes look only at that smile. Or the gentle caress he had been waiting for these 2 years. He saw Kevin was looking around for his name in order to pass or not. Kevin was with Via. From behind, Lydia patted Kevin on the shoulder.
“Dooorr! what are you two doing?”, asked Lydia with a forced smile.
“eh Lydia, ngagetin only,! basic little boy yes.. do not know anyone else confused nyari name” he continued, looking at the woman who was beside him. Embrace him, then, then,
“oh yes Vi is my best friend from small, Lydia”
“Hay, Seneng can know you”
Kevin was confused as to what he should do. He must defend who, his best friend or one girl is interfering with his friendship with Lydia. That girl is really very cunning.
“Lidia denger! you are too young and too restless for my silence, I already have a girl and you still care about me? I won't be able to go back to me, I beg you to understand. Remove me from your shadows every day also remove me from your life”
“I'm very.” Lydia couldn't continue because she was cut off.
“Please go, now Lydia, not one more second or hours you stand here” snaps Kevin.
“When God gives me one happiness, I choose to give you that happiness Vin”
“Plis go.”
Lydia felt depressed at that moment, she held back tears, yet she was still able to move her eyes without a single tear. Just smiling. “I go home first yes, just saw it keep stopping by” said Lydia.
Kevin had wanted to chase the little fairy, he felt wrong to say what was not important he said to his best friend. But he remembered there was also a Via. Girl clings to Kevin's arms so Kevin can't run after Lydia. He decided not to pursue her, perhaps Lydia felt less noticed. But, for Kevin it's all just memories. He wants to go back to his past, continue with a happy ending. It felt difficult, beside her stood the girl who would become the empress in her heart. Might as well. Or just pretending.
One week passed, Kevin and Lydia never got in touch again. Until the time comes, Kevin comes to Lidia's house and sees Lydia lying limp in the room. Lydia shed tears as Kevin walked towards her bed. He tried to rise from his inability to stand up to welcome the most beautiful prince he once had.
“Give me this all-starved convenience O God to feel happiness in my simplicity, if love is beautiful please feed this heart to the man” Lydia dreamed for a moment.
“Darling, I'm sorry for all my mistakes, you are the most beautiful friend I can't escape so I. Here rest your body on my body, inget yes, yes, I will support your body when you lose all your strength. I'm trying to be behind the trail of your grief steps, only I want to be happy with you but I want to say something.”.
“Iya it's just your words, in fact you never have to entertain me right fitting I'm sick rich gini? now I feel what I have is back again including my spirit.
“Lidia, I miss you, I want you to always be there for me, to be my friend forever, absolutely, I want to believe in a feeling that will never change from you for me, but I have to go. My father told me to move to Malaysia. I have to go to school there. Because you can't leave your job, I just want you to know that I'll be in every smile and cry, I won't leave, I'm always in your heart, even though thousands or even billions of kilos of your tracks are separated from me, our relationship should not break up, huh?, you promise to call me, baby is it your health? As you love me I” Kevin said in a sad tone.
“I also ask that if I go, you should not cry.. I am always in your dreams to make you smile like you first again.”, replied Lydia quietly.
“Where to go? Inhere? In my heart?”
“No, does God love us, if God wants to be cemented the same I do not I have to go?”
“Loh why ngaco like that?”
“Father you once said that if he loves his children, he privileged us, privileged you too, it depends on time, if we can choose also we want to get rich first again kan”
“Lidia, I love you, you're anter me tomorrow to the airport huh? The last thing I want to see is you're just like your beautiful smile.
My race's turmoil seemed to have started to grow much different than it had been a few weeks before. It felt heavy, one electron stuck firmly in my chest, circling to choose between a final smile for him or staying asleep for his health.
“How about Via?”
“I only see Li's future, not the past, your same future later”
“So you?”
“Udah split with Via”
Relieved. That was the only feeling I laid out next to the turbulent sadness was very strong.
Tomorrow at the airport. The last time before they parted, Lidia had a chance to get a message, just a few sentences and that would always keep Kevin in his heart
“Kevin, you are my best friend, I love you so much. For example I go, further than you, you promise to always inget our memories so far, you can not be sad, you can not forget me. I will see you there, from the eyes of my heart even though I am only a friend who always bothers you, wasting your money, often emotional because I am depressed with my illness, I am sorry?”.
“Not Lydia, it's wrong.if I think rich that, there's no way I want to be equal to you all this time, you're a little fairy that God loves for me. You are a gift, I love you. Her tears are never to be shed again, right? You are beautiful when you smile. You're the most beautiful friend I've ever known”
For a moment they met face to face. Paying attention to the faces that have changed, maybe more mature, thoughts that they never forget, the story of their jokes and joy.
Even though the two love planets are far away, every day they are always in touch by e-mail. Kevin always sends support to Lidia while Lidia can still enjoy the beautiful world. Cancer that attacks the brain Lydia not always survive.
The more days the Lord gave the omen to Lydia. God is sorry to see her in pain. Mother tried to find a doctor and wherever the doctor was, but they all gave up. Lydia accepts this fact when she has to end, without Kevin at the last moment of life. He just wishes Kevin always came into his dream, that night in a Pelita hospital, North Jakarta. For all the stories he remembered in his little memory. And a spirit that never dims because of his best friend, a very noble friend.
July 1, 2012. When I first entered High School, the school that all students in the world want after graduating Junior High and that's where the last second before Lidia left, the school that is coveted by all students in the world after graduating from Junior High and that's where the last second before Lidia left, he had opened his last e-mail that maybe tomorrow he could not open it. He was stunned and poured so much tears because of what he read..
To: kevinsaputra@gmail.co.id
To: noc@gmail.com
Hal: Meaning in my heart
Lidia, I knew about your feelings when you met me while I was with my boyfriend, via. I know from the look in your eyes that you miss my love. I have long felt for you. I love you so much, maybe I love you. I realized our world was different. I vent my love to via so I can spare you, but I can't. I miss your smile, your joy together with me. You should be there if you come back to Jakarta later… I'm sure you can recover even though I can only support you from here.I'm afraid that from the first I told you about my feelings to you, it's just ruining our patience. I don't want to lose you Lydia.You should be able to, for me, I know you love me too. Our love is only hindered by differences of belief. And that's why I didn't tell you long ago. Greetings Kevin.
Lydia's hand shook as she was about to clear Kevin's delivery. Blood from his nose kept coming out, yet he should be able to write something. I don't know what it is, but I have to.
To: lidiayuda@gmail.com
To: kevinsaputra@gmail.co.in
Hal: The meaning of my love
I don't know what to say. I love you Vin. I know my soul match has been there for you for a long time, it will probably be eternal in a matter of centuries or after I leave later. Though my love is different with all my heart. This love that takes care of my tears becomes a lasting taste for kamwebf. I'm sorry it's so hard to write these words. I'm tired of this fingers. Just to be with you, I was willing to break through the growing pain of djkeno.if time could be repeated, at least I could still express my feelings directly without blood on my nose that was getting worse…
Hadn't had time to send her reply to Kevin, she fell. Fall asleep. For eternity. To meet the Khaliq, accompany the Lord there. God has another plan. God loved Lydia, he wanted Lydia back to him.
“Mother knows son, you can be this loud because Kevin, mother sincere son, mother dear same mother child. Mother does not want you to be sad because see mother nangis kayak gini. You are happy yes want there, later Lydia is present when the mother again sleeps, Lydia the story is the same mother if there is a comfortable place for this Mother's child”
Now Lydia has been able to toughen up, not tough, she will never feel any pain. God has prepared his destiny for us. Lydia's a strong boy. He always smiled even though his physique and heart were deeply wounded. Ms. Eva saw the e-mail that had not been sent, immediately she sent it to Kevin. Miss Eva also called Kevin when Lidia left. Has found His Power. Their love will not be united. Kevin came home to Jakarta when Lydia was just buried. He could only give a smile to the jasmine flowers and the ground that now covered the rigid figure he loved all his flaws. He promised, someday.. He will welcome his love, in another world.The unchanging thing is beautiful, but the beautiful thing must change. He remembered that sentence before Lydia left him.
