Loving You Secretly

Single-minded

There was the sound of laughter, shouting, noise, noise and even the sound of tv that seemed to be allowed to light up with a large volume. It disturbed my sleep at the time. With the view still blurred and the body is still tired I force myself to immediately wake up from the island kapuk. I put on my glasses and then I turned off the fan that was still spinning and beating in my room. With a stagger I began to open the door of my room and let the noise I could see. It turned out that the commotion came from friends of one campus at a time as a contract with me. “Eh wake up also lu.” Saut one of my friends named Agung saw me out of the room. That day I was not in class and intended to laze in the rented that I live with my friends but that's what I often do hehe. Maybe it is not my time to laze today because I was invited by Agung to go to campus who wanted to attend an EO (Event Organizer) meeting on my campus. At first I refused but because of the seduction I started to shower and followed him to campus.

Oh yeah, I haven't introduced myself. My name is Rio 3rd semester student at one of the universities in Jakarta. My college major is Communication Management therefore there is an EO course which is a mandatory course for my major. Initially my intention to follow Agung to attend the EO meeting was to want to know more about how the course went. Naturally because at that time I had not taken the course. This is where my new story begins. When I met him. A girl who stole my heart. Her name is Lita. He was small, white-faced, had a slightly flat voice and he was also wearing a hijab. I really like to see a girl wearing a hijab on her head because to me it is a sign of her fear of God. He is also a smart man. Where do I know that from? That's because during meetings I always pay attention to it. From the way he talks, the way he issues opinions to the way he leads meetings. A woman serves as chairman and is able to lead the meeting? I think he's smarter than I saw at the time. It turned out that attending my friend's meeting was not a mistake because I was able to meet him and this is where I first got to know him.

Without realizing that time continues to run, the day continues to change and my friendship with Lita continues. Until now I have entered semester 8 and Lita has graduated first. Not because he's my senior but because he went to college with a fairly short time of 3.5 years. Still ringing in my ear how she sounds when she laughs. It still looms in my memory how her sweet smile excited me to go to college. It still crossed my mind how he walked. All those memories are still neatly arranged in this memory of my brain even though I have to be able to accept reality if I can't have it. I've known him for almost 2 years and I've been feeling him for that long. Do you know if he realized it or not? Does he know that I always get tormented when I have to see him laugh at other men? Does he know if he's the reason I went to college? Only he and God know.

But anyway I have to keep accepting the truth if I can never have it. I have to accept my destiny because I have to see her happy with others. I should be able to endure this pain when I know I'm not the lucky guy to have it. Maybe this is the consequence I have to accept because I never dared to express love. This is something I got out of what I could only sniff. A simple but painful feeling of love when it must be deeply harbored forever. But this is the path of destiny that I chose myself, the path of destiny that I have to go through. Never escape my mouth every time I say do’a to my Lord for your happiness. Never forget I always say your name every time I ask my Lord for protection. God, if this is the best I can get, if this is indeed your path to my happiness and happiness and if this is the path that can make him always smile then I am sincere God. I'm sincere.