I'm Not Your Choice

Chapter 7

*at PDmall

I waved towards the middle-aged father in a black shirt and blue jeans. "Please sit down sir, I'm Elsa."

The father sat down to catch his breath and smiled at me. His eyes were like looking at me from the tip of my hair to my toes.

"Why sir?"

"That's Why - napa Non, so this is Non, I'm Mr. Toni. I was joined Mas Candra's family from her baby, honestly I was shocked.

because I agree, Non is not Mas Candra type. And Candra already has a boyfriend. Mas Candra also I know the love of her boyfriend.as I picked up the phone yesterday. continue I was told to give this to non."

Mr. Toni gave me a white envelope. I opened it and read what it was.

'Seck of 50 million'

"Sir what does that mean?" I was stunned by the nominal content.

"So after I picked up the phone from non. Mas Candra said, you know what you don't want, so I was given this envelope. I was also asked to see a non." Mr. Toni tried to explain things to me.

"Bapak knows? whether I am pregnant or not is not certain.Great Candra can predict that I am pregnant. Though I just want to ask for help accompany to the doctor.I also quite know myself sir, I'm who." Elsa tried to hold back her tears, twisting and winking her eyelids several times.

"Yes I know non, now I just want to give this from Mas Candra." Mr. Toni kekeh gave me the envelope.

I put it on the table and said. "Already sir, return it to Candra only. I don't want our relationship to end like this. I was wrong to get carried away and do silly things. I went home first, sir. Excuse me, goodbye."

I walked out of the mall to the PD mall parking lot. Turn on my motor matic and pass it back home.

I'm why it's ridiculous, Candra just disappeared from a month ago. I called him inactive too.I still wish for him.

I must remember Fitri's words

"You guys yes, already like to say rich cell phone signal, means already bosen same girl"

**1 Month later

It's Candra's birthday. I heard from Mr. Toni they're having lunch at Valley Resto. Mr. Toni still hopes that I get justice or at least Candra will accompany me to the Obstetrician.

I brought my cupcake, Candra loved my cake.I looked at my work, six medium cupcakes and I wrote...

"Happy Birthday My Special One".

******

I got to the front of the room that was rented. With a light blue knee-length dress. This shirt was given Candra on my Birthday. He hopes to see me use it one day.

I peered through the open door. With my heart carrying a cupcake for Candra, I saw Candra, Surya, Siti, Riska, Hendrik and the woman sitting next to Candra. The woman sits with Candra's hand in hand. Very friendly from their body language, what is Candra's boyfriend?

I heard their conversation.

Solar \= Candra! you owe the story to us. What about our class, who's his name? elsa, ella, sandra or whatever. Remember, the gift I've transferred! 10 Million for a woman like that, an expensive price, you don't think she can be aggressive and stupid.

Cristin \= why did you take on the Surya challenge? you know, I don't like you to play with women's feelings. If he continues to fall in love with you how?

Candra \= .......

Hendrik \= uh lo but ga sampe impregnated him right? kasian is the son of a good man - kind and respected. I know enough of his late papa. people are very generous and high social you know.

Candra \= (take a glass) for what, she's just a female interlude. To be more precise, people all the time in my life, entertainment and women who need money. I also gave money to him. Cockroaches that look more like baboons (chicken cut) are not the same Iw. He just needs money to pay for his family's debt.

aja aja, yesterday he sold himself to gw. as long as you all know, I screened him more than Surya gifts.

Hendrik \= Elsa is the son of a good man - well. He's an innocent and honest boy, pretty good if you're right so.

Candra \= is good?? you know how many millions I have spent to pay off his debt. think lo. emang gw mills money. poor yes the same poor. ga level gw!!

..

...

'Oh god Candra. I..yeah! Conscious Elsa! you are a poor woman.'

I covered my mouth with my palm. My tears can't stand to drip.

"Mbak.ini please enter the dalem yes. Tell me to take someone." I left the cupcake to the waiter. fortunately there was a waiter who came out after arranging the dish at the table.

Then I passed away, I refused to see him again. As the waiter opened the door to enter my seat, I looked towards the room. Candra looked at me and tried to code me.

I'm gone, I can't help it. My chest hurts so much, I swore I didn't want to feel anything like this.

*****

Yeah, I'm just a cockroach and a baboon for him.

son. how's this? I cried in my room. My head was heavy, my tears were dry.

As I cried I heard my papa friend coming. "Just tomorrow should go maximal next week. You sold this house, I need all of it. Let's go, my son wants to use this house."

I peeked out of the kitchen, mama just kept quiet like people couldn't say anything.

Candra Adiwinata, you have to pay dearly for all this!

My mom sold this house. I'm looking for a contract for us, there's only a house in a narrow alley we can rent.

The house move confiscated all my energy. Martha cannot go home either. I handle everything myself. I almost forgot I was pregnant.

I woke up and felt like my stomach was hurting. It feels like heartburn like people are going to have a bowel movement. I ran to the bathroom, I sat there quietly withstanding the pain. It hurts so much. I want to vomit too.......

oh my....!!

I fainted for a few minutes, when I came to my senses, I gathered all my strength to slowly stand up.

then, I looked towards the closet. Lots of blood coming out. I don't know what this is that I remember hurting my stomach.

I walked slowly to my room. Took the bandage and stayed silent for a while and laid down my body. It hurts so bad. I can't wake up.....

 *********

In the middle of the night I woke up. I remember what happened to me first. The pain in my stomach was like it had just happened.

I woke up taking a medicine box on my dressing table.

Well. my insomni cure, my stomach cramp pain medication..

I'm reflecting....

I shed tears....

Do you know how I survived my circumstances. With my loneliness, the pain and the fall of my life.

How I've been living my life for eight years.You're as good as coming, as if nothing's wrong.

_in office on friday

"Els, go home teng yuk."

"Yuk brother Cit.cute beautiful coffee in Starbik yes." I tidied up the files and rushed away absent.

I walk with imagery.

With us queuing up at Starbick.

We chose to sit in the corner so we could gossip freely..

We laughed considering the ridiculous incident at the office this afternoon..

"Hello, can I join.?" I was silent to see who interrupted us.

Candra...?

"By, join me here empty." The image allowed us to sit to our right.

"Thank you" Candra sat down and looked at us with a smile.

"Full tight yeah.sit here. I'm citra." The image thrusts the hand into candra.

"Candra...Candra Adiwinata." They shook hands, but I was still silent and dumbfounded. He is where - where.

They shook hands and started talking.

I was silent looking at the two of them.

"El...Just like diem.."

"huh!"

"I peed dlu deh.. Stay yes.." The image left us to the toilet in the area outside the coffee shop.

...

"You haven't looked at it in a long time, how did you say?" candra started the conversation.

"It's not you who said it. I'm just a baboon and a cockroach." I'm upset.

"Hmm.still snot too. By the way, the cake used to be delicious. Thanks to ya." Candra still remained with her smile.

We just kept quiet I was busy reading the Cosmo magazine I just bought. I didn't realize Candra was moving to sit next to me.

"Els, how about we get married?"

I glared at Candra. "Lo mabok nih, gausah weird - weird. The wrong drug. Crazyhead!"

The image came back and saw my face turn into anger looking at Candra.

.....

 

"why did you eat wrong?" ask Fitri.

"engga mak..gapapa. I still want to join parttime." I continue our journey to the wedding ballroom. where we parttime for additional pocket money.

...

"uh, isn't it here? you're Paul's son, right?"

greet one of the guests present.

"yes aunt, I'm gonna have to look for extras."

"oh, broke ortu you. kasian said suicide papaanya." I was silent brought Water Jug to fill drinking guests.

I went to smile from the guest.I touched my chest.The pain of God...

everything was dark and I felt my body go limp...

..

..

..

"papa.papa.." I ran after papa. papa hugged me. Papa just smiled and said "be a strong woman."

.....

I woke up, opened my eyes.Look around, the atmosphere was different.I looked around, I saw a male figure.

I'm making sure who he is again??

Mr Toni????

"Mr..."

the man woke up.."non was conscious?" mr. toni walked towards me.

"i why sir?"

"non has just been on his stomach. It seems like today can go home, but the doctor wants to meet non first."

it turned out that Mr. Toni was one of the guests and saw me when I fainted. took me to the maternity hospital.

my obstetrician said it should be immediately on kiret/cleaned. because I had a miscarriage but not clean. Many are still attached to my uterus and have the potential to become cancer...

'the pain of stomach cramps may be an effect because you do not immediately bring to the doctor when you bleed.This is why over-the-counter drugs as a painkiller. You can still get pregnant again even though it is less likely. But it's all from God.take care of your womb and body.you're young and your future is long.' Doctor Bian gave me a prescription and the nurse escorted me out of the check room.

Mr. Toni was waiting outside, he stood up and approached me. "I took the medicine first sir."

"i just non. have not sat here alone. I take non home later."

I could just shut up and look at the passing vehicle in front of the hospital.

........