I'm Not Your Choice

CHAPTER 27

I'm going into Candra's room. Tidying up my luggage and dirty clothes. Candra came and gave me another nightgown.

this time a pink baby doll suit with lilies. "you know I like Cand lilies?" I asked for reflex.

"oh yeah? it's a coincidence or indeed the universe bequeaths our destiny of liking the same flower." Candra started talking.

"Candra...please..this is not you.Honestly, what happened?" I sat at the end of the bed. Candra sat down beside me.

I held and played the cloth of my nightgown. Candra opened her voice, "to be honest I don't want to be like this either Elsa.."

"then?" I confirmed the voice.

"i'm compelled...." Candra looked at the sky of her room.

"after you leave my apartment.mama invites you to meet...."

*5 months ago*

in a restaurant in the Soetta - Jakarta airport area

"Hallo's son-in-law..."

"yes ma..." Candra was sitting opposite Mama Elsa. Bu Ayyah was sitting a bit far away with Mama Elsa.

"Sorry aunt, if aunty interferes with your time.just aunty would not bother Elsa and Martha. "

"it's okay.mama.call her my mama, Candra is now also a mama's son."

"thank you Candra." Mama smiled even though her mouth could not move perfectly, but the articulation and tone of each word that came out of her mouth was still clear.

"mama would like to apologize, if you bear the treatment and life of mama. let alone you now husband Elsa.mama.mama thank you, mama, you want to accept us to a family far below you materially.." Mama started to hold her dike.

"i accept Elsa not for what - what.but.I sincerely accept Elsa, she is an Independent woman, strong but also a weak and sensitive woman.." Candra smiled remembering the memories with Elsa.'pardon me ma.' said Candra in her heart.

"Joko never told me, if she betrothed you. mama herself did not even have the slightest intention...

but what mom wants to say..

Elsa is a weak woman, she was born with difficult circumstances.Aunty age and congenital aunty disease, which should be aunty can control....

But...God has a beautiful plan for us, so he can be born and grow to this day...." Candra was silent to hear Mama Elsa.

"After her papa left, everyone said that Elsa's father went bankrupt and went crazy, so it sounded gossip papa Elsa committed suicide. though what happened papa's heart attack that night made us unable to do anything...

before that night, we tried to find a loan to bring Papa Elsa to treatment.but all the doors were closed...don't make money, we don't have rice, '" mama Elsa started crying.....

Candra took Tissue to mama. mama received and wiped her tears. "sorry mama is very strong if you take everything.after her papa left, almost faithful day there was a debt collector came...

from the smooth to the rough, to say Elsa just sell herself to pay for everything.

magic Candra, Elsa brought 10 million money. helped mama pay off my debt...Mama herself opened a stall and received the services of keeping children at home so we could eat."

'pardon Candra, the money Candra gave in exchange for Elsa having to serve Candra.' said Candra in her heart.

"his college even Elsa got a scholarship so it can help once.Mama remember there is rarely food at home. Elsa often holds back hunger, for the sake of being able to eat and cover her needs. Elsa sometimes has to open her own laundry and work part-time at a restaurant so Elsa can earn extra money..."

mama drank the warm Tea, and took a breath to continue her story. "It turns out that adversity is not always with us. Elsa before graduation has got a job at a management consultant office in Semarang.since then her career was good, until now.....

what mom wants to ask....

happy Elsa...

indeed mama never spoke to Candra, only now forgive mama who is too talkative....

but mama believes you can bring Elsa to understand what it is to be happy and Love...

mama was sad to see him have to work hard for her. It was already her time she thought about her future.....

even about love, Elsa like not to bother.for her life in poverty is more scary than not having a partner.but.you are married.." mama holds Candra's hand.

"mama's message.mama tipped Elsa, take care of her.Please love her, happy her, do not make her sad and..live well in your Household.if happy that you can create...the rest of the mama has sincerely mama's task is finished..keep the mama's child to Household..."

Candra just nodded her head.Mama smiled and wiped away her tears.

---

I was stunned to hear Candra mute. and did not know what to say. I wiped my tears that came out.

"so that's why I..."

"enough Candra!"

I stood up and sighed, "don't force yourself, to create a household like in a movie or a novel. Just go back to your original goal.don't feel sorry for my mama, you're treating us excessively." I make it clear I mean.

"what's wrong if we live a real household life? like everyone else, Elsa.what's wrong is that this boundary I created, I passed a little bit. gave your mama what you expected."

"come on, let mama be my business.You take care of your life and yours." I walked into the bathroom.

Candra immediately pulled Elsa and slammed into the bed. "i don't care, you want to say I'm crazy! But, give me Elsa's chance."

then Candra got up and walked out of the room. Leaving Elsa alone in confusion.

it used to be so excited that Candra was dating me. It was so easy that she disappeared leaving me and our son.

now it has been more than 8 years.why is everything becoming more difficult for me to understand.or I just look at this as an exaggeration? O God Almighty?

I opened my eyes, sunlight coming in from the open window curtain.I got up and sat on the bed.

"you sleep with Elsa?" Candra said hello, she just came out of the bathroom.

"iya Candra..it felt so good, I never slept this well.." I stretched my hands...

Candra smiled and came to me. she thrust a glass of tea, I smelled the aroma.

"drink, this is good in the morning drink." I take the glass and drink it. The taste is a little bitter bitter bitter bitter, but there is a sweet taste at the end.

"it's delicious and fresh.what is this Can?" Candra took the glass and put it on the table beside me.

"it's a recipe from mama first, smart mama concocting jamu. I was fiddling with my mom's recipe, and the writing could restore the health of the uterus after childbirth." my facial features immediately changed.

"Let's calm Elsa. It's also good for women's health, blood circulation.just some real herbs don't contain toxic ingredients.." Candra explained to me.

Candra approached and kissed my forehead. "i wait downstairs, we have breakfast and the way to the hospital huh.." I nodded my head in agreement.

I rushed to take a shower and cleaned myself. My body felt fresher, as I remember last night I fell asleep. Candra came back I don't know, which I feel. When I fell asleep, I hugged the pillow.The warm pillow and the aroma provided comfort.

I was wearing a pink dress with a white ribbon app. I went downstairs following Candra.

apparently Candra waited in the dining room.on the table arranged 2 dishes with fried rice in her. "here, breakfast first Elsa."

I sat down and picked up the cutlery next to my plate. I started eating the fried rice.

"it feels so good, I just ate some really good fried rice this time. Aunty must be good at cooking Cand.." I ate voraciously.

"i cooked Elsa." replied Candra.

"uhuk.." I choked and took a drink.

I drank a bit of water, which is embarrassing.

"sorry I don't know Candra." I put a glass and went back to eating Candra's fried rice.

Candra smiled, "i used to go to school abroad, but my dad didn't send me enough money at all, so I learned to cook, clean my house and sell my food to fellow students there. as a result I was able to take a tax course there.if my money ran out, cristin lent me. So I owe Cristin a lot."

I was amazed, became less interested in his story. There is always Cristin yes, only he you remember very meritorious.

but really, what is my service?

just saving Candra to get the biggest share, as the oldest kid..

"Elsa..cook diem?" ask Candra.

"i'm horrifying you, it's not possible to tell me again I interrupted." Candra smiled, "you are indeed a smart woman..."

we were preparing to put our stuff in the trunk. I took a photo album from the trunk of Candra's car. a light blue book with a small caption "to my lovely son"

I opened the album. On the first page there is a photo of a baby, but I'm not clear women or men.

Welcome to the world of my son Candra Adiwinata. Today, Tuesday 14 February 1988. Today mom gave birth to you after a long business trip..

you are a great child, son, know that you can give birth to you even though your health is not good....

Even from inside your stomach, you come wherever you go to accompany your father...

son.mama - papa is pioneering this business.

Promise me you'll be able to bring it even bigger.....

Mom loved Candra...

but forgive mama.mama is only a poor woman of illness. mama only troubles papa..

But mama can feel so great love papa to mama. papa even willing to lose a contract billions to accompany mama.....

Candra know? first time papa - Mama met?

Papa you're looking for a drink at Grandpa's herbal stall. Your papa is so thin, dirty and has no money. But grandfather feels pity and gives free drinking food to papa. when even papa pamit grandfather gave some money to papa, Son..

never thought the meeting would bring papa back, son.. One day in December, rain all day flushed the village of mama...

no 1 person came to buy jamu.mama sad because will eat what tomorrow? grandfather was also sick because of fatigue looking for spices....

Suddenly there was a luxury car stopped right in front of mama. a man came out in neat clothes and wore an umbrella of black color...turns out he's your papa, son...

papa came back and proposed to Mama.....

I flipped to the next sheet. There are wedding photos, and family photos. I think this photo om Joko and aunt Susan first. There is another letter on sheet 4. there's a picture of a boy's birthday with the number 10 on top of his cake.

Candra..welcome to the 10th birthday dear.I'm sorry you have to die Candra.sorry mama did not come to school.mama had to undergo chemotherapy again, son.

Candra, mama pray for you, be healthy always.so be a strong man, be a big man....

Love your wife like you love me. Sorry mom - papa if one day we have to separate...

do not want mama - papa for this, but.mama does not want your own papa in his old days later..who will take care of him? who's gonna make papa's breakfast?

who will you invite to see your colleagues?

the decision later, is the best son for all of us....

mama also believes papa's love will never end.Pardon us son.....

I leaned against the car door. I opened the next sheet. lots of photos of Candra, she was playing basketball. was with a woman. Like this Cristin, and there was a picture of Candra with her mom. very beautiful, Susan, it's fast that Papa Candra didn't think for long and immediately proposed to her.

I opened the last sheet of this album...

P**The true highlight of Love is to let the one you love go for happiness.

remember those words, son, never force your loved ones to stick with you. Moreover, you know surviving with you is the same as hurting him...

that's what mommy - papa does...

mama let papa marry her, because mama loves papa.

if papa and mama continue together, it will only result in more hurt for papa...

forgive us, son..

we love you and Hangga.....

"how did you find that book?" Candra pulled the photo album and then put it in the trunk of the car.

looks like Candra didn't like me opening the photo album. I got in the car and sat down next to the driver.

Candra opened the door beside me, "let's go out.."

"meaning.? I'm going to the ama airport hospital." I asked confusedly..

"yes you most likely sit in the back seat with me, Elsa...." Candra folded her arms in front of her chest, waiting for me to come out and move into the passenger seat in the back.

"sorry.." the door closed and we went out of Candra's house...