I'm Not Your Choice
CHAPTER 32
We walked out of the Princess Doctor Room. Candra caught up with me, out of the room. We headed to the pharmacy queue, and sat down near the drug-taking counter.
My head was a little dizzy, I leaned back to Candra's left arm. Candra pulled out her phone. There was a message coming in, I accidentally saw. 'CRISTIN'
'Cand..where are you? I'll call you? I'm lonely, Hendra's busy with meetings.'
'I'm in Rs with Elsa.'
'Why 'Your wife? Oh yes I'm 3 months pregnant. Thanks to the baby tube program. Finally, Hendra won't divorce me.'
'Wow I'm happy.' Candra immediately locked her phone and put it in her trouser pocket.
"Who did you see who I was chatting with?" Candra asked while stroking my hair.
"I don't see on purpose, I'm also not going to why - why do you want to meet him." My voice's flat.
I feel so used to this situation. When we got serious and reassured each other our feelings. The woman always comes.
Sometimes when my instincts come up as a wife. I'd love to hit Cristin. As a fellow woman, she was indeed born as such a woman?
In front of me sat a glass door. I looked into the glass. I looked like an ash pick, with his master. I saw myself 9 years ago. How dream I can be with Candra. Especially being his wife.
I admit, my heart is upset right now. Should I go back to Candra's side. But....
What if the events that have happened are repeated. Surely I was just the talk and they must have made fun of me. The dreamer, the big-headed woman, the woman doesn't know where she's supposed to be.
"On behalf of Elsa Nirmala's mother." Candra immediately stood up and approached the source of the sound.
"Sorry relationship with the patient?" Ask the officer in red batik with Kasturi flower pattern.
"I'm Candra Adiwinata, Elsa Nirmala's husband. My wife's date of birth is nine september one nine - nine one."
The officer took notes and checked my medical papers. Then give to Candra 3 bags of medicine and explain the rules of her drinking.
I just faintly heard there was a sentence.."if routine and suitable should be able to get pregnant immediately sir. Thank you." Thank you."
Candra then gave me the code to wake up. Then followed her away from the RS.
We are silent, since from the Hospital until now it has been on the way. Candra tries to play a song from the radio.
'Good night buddy Radio slang tonight. Still with me Ibn Isya. Yes gaes, now want to discuss about..relationships that.hung..ah rich clothes only loyal listeners..
Yes so there is a letter in from Erika.kak Ibnu.kami dating, but how I never ya invited him to meet his ortu or his family...
Um..kalo according to brother, you guys are still dating. Not the time to meet and acquaintance.but.engga there is also a harm to make acquaintances...
Okeii.next from..nn.n.
Hello brother.hallo also.I Ms. I am the wife of a husband. But my husband never cared about me the same way I felt. Fyi kak, still meet his ex first.
Their communication is, rich people who are still dating are also brother...
I love the time to talk and love to go home often...
Well..this is a bit heavy yes listener.so.hehhehee..suami - heavy wife gaes answer I must be in them for a while nih....
So, try it brother talk husband. Samein uneg - uncle brother, say what brother really wants. Let it feel good again yaa..okeii.a song from Calum Scott - you are the reason yes.make someone who wants to give up.remember how far you last.....'
We looked at each other, Candra's car stopped at a red light. Then Candra began to approach me, approaching my lips.then I closed my eyes letting her take me flying high...
Oh nirvana....
I opened my eyes and got Candra sleeping beside me. I saw this room, well.this room should be our contest room and our place back after a long day of work.
I approached Candra and observed Candra's face. His nose.His face, a fitting structure..
Candra's hand came out of the blanket and immediately pulled me. I fell in his arms. Candra hugged me from behind and whispered. "Don't like diem - diem ngeliatin, later you can't escape his ngeliatin.so love..."
The morning embrace was so warm and gentle. His little kiss in my head area. Makes me feel deep, deeper brings my feelings.
Or rather make me feel again. Is this what it feels like to fall in love???
********
"Bu Elsa.this is an intercom from semarang ma'am." Said the phone operator in my office.
"OKs. Keep up..."
The phone is connected....
"Dek..adek..mami enter Icu again deck.this time please deck go home lah.mami has not realized deck..."
"MORTHA!!!"
I hung up my phone and ran to my GM room. I saw him going out to a meeting with NGK Group. I prevented her, "Bu please..(I manage my breath) I need..need day off again, my mom on emergency."
"What's? Its ok Take it. Don't forget to bring your mobile phone. Because we need access to you. In urgent Case I mean" I nodded with my reply.
I immediately ran downstairs and cleaned up my files and bags. I called Candra, told her what happened. But my call was completely missed.
I don't care about Candra. It was important that I went home quickly. I rushed out and ordered an online taxi.
"Mba Elsa?" The online object in green and black greeted me.
"Yes sir, borrow the helmet. To Halim yes sir, look for a way just aja sir."
I went up and put on the helmet that the motorcycle gave me.
The streets are a bit more relaxed. I remember Candra. I took my phone and tried to call her again. But still zero results.
We arrived at Halim Perdanakusuma Airport. I went straight in to find a ticket counter.
"Mba.one ticket on behalf of Elsa Nirmala. It's my Id." I gave my ID and received it back with the ticket print on my behalf.
I took the money in my wallet. Good thing last night I overtook Cash. I took 9 pieces of one hundred thousand rupiah and gave them to the ticket officer.
I walked into the Check-in area. I cleaned up my luggage and chose to wait in the lounge on the 2nd floor. I chose to sit in the left corner of the room. So I can see the plane passing by.
Then I remembered Candra. I took my phone from my bag. But only Martha's message is there.
Martha \= adek.mama died...
I immediately shut up and nodded. I dreamt of it, it's not possible. Martha lied!
I tried to be strong and look for Candra's contact. My mind was in a fog with Martha's message.
"Finally.." I immediately pressed the call for Candra.
"Hello..."
"Hallo Cand.mama died Cand.mama....."
"Hello.ini Cristin, Candra is still changing clothes in the bathroom wait ya."
"What????" I'm getting blank.
"Yes.sorry this Tommy? Candra eat keeps the sauce spilling. So I helped her get changed."
"....." I shut up without realizing it, my tears came out. My hands reflexively patted my chest, sore and tight....
"NOT....Elsa here, so my name's Tommy, right?"
"Elsa.sorry, that's it.."
I heard a man's voice behind her. "Here my phone is, it's been there wearing your shirt. Shame on someone knowing...."
"This is Elsa Again call...halloo..,?"
This call I'm sending, I can't go on anymore. It hurts so much, it feels like people clap one hand.
I stood up and stared at the aircraft hangar. Many bidders come - go. There were times when they stopped, there were times when they left again.
I still shed tears every time I close my eyes. I still don't believe it. What I heard myself.
'Call to BatikAir passenger JT93553 majoring in Jakarta - semarang a yani Airport is requested to queue to enter the aircraft area.'
I immediately took my bag. And walk, follow people whose goals are the same as mine.
I chose silence to speak nothing. I saw my phone, how ridiculous I was. Until I wanted to contact Candra earlier, even I made my phone wallpalper with our wedding photos.
Ridiculous of Elsa!! I cursed myself for everything...
*********
one of the funeral homes near Semarang city center was very quiet, the streets were only full of trucks of cargo passing by that I saw as I stared out of the room mama was buried. I sat and stared at my mother's coffin like I still couldn't believe what was going on.
I still can't believe it! She's the woman who always hated me because my birth took our family to the bank. He blames the circumstances because I helped him make money. He's also the one who's angry that life isn't fair treating me and Martha. But he fought for me too.
I still remember how he went there - here to find my help getting a college scholarship. helped me to keep eating, even though we only ate tofu that was grilled without any spice - what. Rela saw me eat, but he had not eaten from morning.
how much I love my mother........
mama.relax there....
papa will welcome mom, just like when mom comes home from work. Papa's picking up mama.....
I then shut up....
my tears are dripping....
I then woke up!
I can part with Candra. mama one - the reason I married Candra. for a living 20 million every month.....
I can take my life, live what should be mine. I want to end this drama.Why I survive if Candra only thinks about Cristin.
"daddy.this is your phone, there are 30 calls." I just nodded and took my phone from Martha's hand. Martha left me, met another family who came to worship.
Candra \= why El? I called back to lift.
elsa. \= nothing..
Candra \= sure? when my job is done, I'll go home.
Elsa. \= is not necessary, I can take care of myself.
Candra \= Elsa..sorry that I didn't go home. I promise tonight I'm home.
Elsa \= .....
candra. \= do you miss me? I'm sorry I suddenly had to leave.
Elsa \= Cand...
Candra \= Yes Elsa..
Elsa \= just go, sleep s
with that meeting. After the mama's nutrition, we take care of our divorce.
Candra \= mom? Elsa mami why??
I was tired and lazy to continue my conversation. "fuck!!" I endured the pain and looked for the painkillers that the Princess Doctor loved me.
I immediately drank and asked for Martha's car keys.
I walked towards the car park in the funeral home area.it feels tight and relieved this chest.I managed to say to just part with Candra. the courage that even I never thought I could say.
I opened the steering door and sat down for a moment, "you get 20 million dollars a month as my wife"
"dek..mami it costs a lot..."
"mami promise.mami will not trouble you with your sister again El...."
my head was so heavy, that I closed my eyes at that moment, letting me drown in this feeling
pain..hate....
***********
Candra presses Intercall no 10, "Pak Toni, get in fast."
at that time Om Joko went into the Candra workspace, standing right in front of Candra's desk. Candra was surprised and immediately got up to her feet. "Lad...."
BRUGKKK!!! (Papa's hard slap to Candra.)
"you know! 31 Years you've lived! papa has never been this angry!! But today, papa is so shy! PAPA NEVER TAUGHT YOU TO BE A MAN WHO DOESN'T KNOW RESPONSIBILITY !!"
Candra holds the cheek to the left, and fresh blood flows from the tip of Candra's lips.
"Papa's shy!! you still go back to that girl's apartment! you already have a wife!! KNOW YOU! YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW IS DEAD! tomorrow's Cand.tomorrow it's his funeral!" Om Joko could not stand up, his legs began to limp. he leaned his body to the table Candra.
"You know, your wife is from a good family - well. I as your papa, malamuu! you even chose to sleep there, while your in-laws died.
ok..ok! if you cannot be separated from that woman. PLEASE DO! you guys get married...
But you remember one thing!! don't ever bring that girl into my house!" Om Joko immediately turned back.
"Wait for the pa.." Candra's voice shrieked...
Om Joko stops with her position, turning her back to Candra.
"i do live in Cristin's apartment. I do love Cristin, until now, but I also do not want to lose Elsa." Candra's eyes began to look.
"have you ever been in my position? does papa know? how much did you suffer when you were enjoying your time with Ruby?
papa knows mama every night crying in her sleep.how hard she went through.until she gave up!" candra's tears began to come out. "i don't want to pa....losing an important person in my life..and I don't want to lose Elsa..."
Om Joko turns over, looking at Candra. "do you know that's all your mama's request? do you know papa suffers every night looking at your photos! do you know! papa slept with your photos for years!!
That's your mama's ridiculous request!!! papa marries a mother sister who is also her best friend.in order to protect her good name, and prepares a nurse for papa when you are married and living with your small family.do you know!"
Candra set her breath, lowered her head. "this! this is the letter that papa kept in close contact!! it's time you know!"
papa throws cream paper.it is actually white paper, but because at meal time it becomes yellowish.
Candra picked it up and opened it.
