I'm Not Your Choice

CHAPTER 13

I walk on the altar of the church.everything is full of flowers.I hold a tall man.the fragrance is very typical......

I opened my eyes..."I.dream.." I realized this was not my room.I searched and studied the surroundings...

Candra..candra sleeps next to me. plain white t-shirt.."his face is plain very handsome.." why did I become imagining that not - no..

I woke up, walked out of the room. towards the baklon near the Lcd TV, I opened the glass balcony. The morning sun entered the central room of the Candra Apartment.

I went to the Kitchen..pick up a small black mug. There's the inscription "Virgo" 'this glass seems new?'

I put Dilmah Tea taste mint. when the hot water began to pour..hmmm....

I turned around.deg..candra was already behind me. "morning.." said I.

"morning too..have you made tea? please make it for me too." Candra passed sitting in the middle room.

I went back to get a glass with the words "Aquarius".

"Tea Candra is strawberry.." Elsa mutters..

bring her tea in the mug.

sitting next to Candra, they were silent to each other....

silence without a word....

"em..already at 7 gw ready - ready first Can."

I stood up from the chair.

"you asked for leave, I sat down."

I sat down and sat back down.

"continue...gw can return the boarding? I'm in there. I want to take a shower."

"..."

"MISS......"

Candra put the iPad.."lo there's a problem what the hell is the same Iw. kanya Takuut deket gw!"

I just shut up and roll my eyeballs to the side.."lo there shower, I want to take you to the Doctor.naturally you know you faint easily,lo don't make me embarrassed.."

go to the doctor.yeah, let's see...

 

*in the examination room...

"*tension tends to be low.107/80.

if for eye pressure I see no problem.throat is also good.Mom can explain.what in feel."

...

"you said what you felt." Candra made me say something to the doctor..

"ehmm..so I was often cramping docks. and I always take painkillers like Meloxicam so that my nerves are a bit rilex.. and if I was tired I often fainted dok..."

"stomach? let me check first, ma'am, please go up again."

The young doctor asked me to lie back on the examination bed. The doctor started pressing on my stomach and put on a stethoscope.

"what's here? (pressed the heart)"

I shook my head.."here" (towards the kidneys)....

"no doc.."

the doctor began to tangent and pressed several sides on my stomach.."argh!!!"

"ok.. let's get up and sit down first.."

the doctor washed his hands, and immediately sat down.."sus.please refer to Obgyn ya."

"the obstetrician doc?" my many.

"yes mother, I suspect in the mother's womb there is a problem. or have had an incomplete operation.or the handler has an impact in the present."

the doctor wrote me a letter of reference.

put in a white envelope, stamp his name.

"this is ma'am, could be with some of the doctors of choice in this hospital."

"well Doc.thank you..."

candra and I came out of Bram's doctor's room...

do I have to be honest with Candra?

i'mfrightened....

i.... I'm honestly not huh?

"cand.wait" Candra kept going.

"why?" bruk.candra stopped suddenly and I hit him..

"sorry...can we talk for a minute before we go to Obgyn?"

 *******

I twirled my thumbs clockwise, for some reason it was so cold my hands.

where did I start..

my heart is pounding.it feels like people can hear my heartbeat.dug....

Candra came to bring me a cup of warm chocolate. "drink, this is chocolate. You often faint better reduce your coffee first."

"thank you."

candra then sat opposite me.

"ok start it...."

"Candra..before I...I apologize first..and you promise to forgive me?"

candra frowned.."ok I promise, candra brandished her right Kelingking finger."

"So..huuhh...huuuuh..(i threw my breath), so you know.8 years ago...

when I nganter cupcake to Valley, I actually insert a testpack in your birthday greeting."

"TEST PACKS!!!" Candra screamed to make me the center of attention.Every eye was on me.

"sorry mas.hehe.." I spoke to the person next to us.

"ok on???"

I sipped my hot chocolate, "the core is like this, my house was confiscated by my older brother.for the sake of my mother's debt.I moved and I suddenly forgot that I was pregnant, I saw some blood on some of my pants, but because I didn't have enough to go to the doctor."

"..."

"well before your birthday...Mr. Toni met me once when your phone rang and Mr. Toni answered.

we met at the PD mall, he gave me a 50 jt check.

he said.this is from you."

"okay.." Candra folded her arms forward.

"a week after I moved house.I had severe bleeding.walking for about 4 days I had irregular periods.but I still don't think this has a negative impact on me at this time."

I felt heavy continuing my story.I took another deep breath so I could continue my story.

"then I took parttime work at a wedding at one of the 5-star hotels in Semarang.

I met a lot of my parents' friends.they talked badly about my father.It made me more dizzy and my stomach started to cramp...

until things went dark and I fainted.."

Candra drank her Caffe Lattenya.and folded her arms again on her chest...

"when I came to my senses, I was in RSIA and Mr. Toni was there. Apparently he came to the wedding and saw me when he was about to faint...

then he picked me up and took me...."

I started to shed tears.."later when I saw the doctor, they said they were late in wiping my stomach.so many left behind the former fetus or dirty blood that did not completely come out. so when cleaning requires extra hard work.where if they continue then, I will absolutely not be able to have children." I wipe my tears.

"impactnya..I often cramp, according to the doctor.this is only a psychological effect.and my content of the wall is thin.so that it is difficult for me to have offspring."

"has?"

"yes I have.." I drink my chocolate which is now so warm..

"what you told me earlier is none of my business.

thank you for being independent enough Elsa. by not asking me to marry you at that time. because you could've slept with another guy?"

tegot....

"i..."

"i'm not going to talk to the kid who Can.which I realized at the time.I'm just a game material ato bet that does not really deserve to go into the upper circles."

I looked at Candra.Our eyes met each other.

"because I'm self-conscious.I'm just a cockroach that can be injected and die.or a baboon chicken that is ready to be cut.

so I'd better get on with my life if I had a son without a father.

it's not a matter of weight for me. I'm used to working hard and I'm sure all my good intentions will bring good things.

because the boy's a fortune. ."

"you are not now proud to marry me. surely in your heart there is a feeling of pride. can the husband of a rich man, boss.especially once made you a toy.there must be a sense of it?" said candra with cunning.

"No. absolutely not."

"..." candra was surprised by my answer.

"I felt like nothing would change much from my life, our own marriage, not just someone's friend who knows you?"

"yes it's true, we must have limits, never forget our feelings because of our status."

"okay..."

I went walking out of the hospital. Candra followed me behind..

the leg can be honest everything...

i've guessed...Candra wouldn't possibly believe I'm pregnant with her child.

I am poor, but I can understand what it is to be faithful....

 

******

"hello.iya Mr. Toni. I'm with Elsa. we want to find the cincing. please convey to papa."

candra hung up on Toni.

"all right, we can go back."

"buy the ring first." replied candra briefly.

The ring??

"make what?" I'm installing a seatbelt.

"we need a ring and a necklace for next Saturday's engagement."

"owh.ok" I nodded my head.

*****

we walked to one of the malls in the downtown area of Jakarta. All the goods here are only original and original..

I'm sure I won't be able to meet here..

we walked into one of the 'True Diamond' jewelry stores'.

candra chose some of the latest collections of wedding rings...

"it's nice as it is." candra pointed to the white gold ring with a list in the middle of the gold color, and the middle small sparkling gem.

"iya Pak.ini everlasting design.almost last long and is a fun guy who model ginih.but yes taste sir. ato want husband same wife different rings can also." Candra was busy picking out the ring.

I left Candra to pick a ring. I saw another piece of jewelry in the store..

my gaze stopped on the sparkling white necklace in the display case.with a sakura-knocked pendant like this :

what a beautiful cherry blossoms.I remember that I do not have a necklace.I remember my last necklace, I sold it so that I could redeem my motorbike which is a guarantee mama to reintenir....

so bitter is my life, but I'm sincere.

all for mama..

I looked at the necklace, felt a match with the necklace.I can definitely have it..