I'm Not Your Choice
CHAPTER 19
I walked towards the Tv Candra room. then I sat in the middle of the long sofa...
sitting.silently..dreaming.my mind drifted away.....
my tears couldn't hold.....
I have no power to endure the pain of my heart...
is this called heartache...?
if true, I let my heart love or fall in love with Candra....
I was pensive and just crying without making a sound.it was just me and the clouds in the sky...
Cristin came to sit on my right-hand side single sofa. Candra follows taking a seat at the dining table..
he sat opposite me..
the three of us were silent without a word...
the atmosphere was silent only a speck of rain was heard soaking the balcony......
"Elsa.what you saw did not actually happen..
yesterday I got drunk at the Hotel because my husband had a fight with me..
and Candra came to get me home, but because I threw up, our clothes were all on the floor.."
I looked at Cristin with a blank look. My breath weight and chest felt very tight. My mouth was silent I began to force open my voice.. "and you have to sleep on our bed?
"yes, because I feel comfortable with the mattress." Cristin said innocently...
"it was still our bridal night! and you slept with my husband in our bed.My position also does not know what has happened.oh Gosh!!
Please......!
key, okay I'm sober...Please wait another 2 years. Candra and I will part ways in time....
now.let me enjoy a little while being his wife...
although I know..only you are in his heart.." Elsa's eyes are so praying.
"ELSA!! Enough's enough!! know your limits with me. This privacy zone you should never pass...if you are still like this. too bring your melancholic feelings in our household, we better end it now! You Understand.kan! who's in my heart? Just him" Candra pointed at Cristin.
"if not me, why did you marry me, Cand..
Was it all just because of the events of 8 years ago?! I'VE EVEN FORGOTTEN what it's comfortable with....
how comfortable and loving embrace.until you come back brings me to the feeling that has been lost!!"
"what do you think? Who are you?" Candra glared at me.
"alright.as your wish, just end it all, I am a human not an animal.I have feelings and pride.
I was patient when I found out that you and him (pointed Cristin) went abroad together! though at that time .... at that time I ....(i can't say that I was stressed and sick to faint in Jess).."
"you're what huh!!"
"i.e...i.. (crying not strong said, then taking a deep breath).
it can't... can't match your level, my limit went too far! far away I am.
I was wrong with feeling from the first moment you greeted me at the reunion.I misinterpreted everything.." Elsa's voice swallowed.......
"excuse me....." Elsa stood up to pick up her little sling bag..
"if you get out of here, you don't have to come back!"
my footsteps stopped right next to Candra..
I kept quiet....
I stepped up right, my feet left those two men....
I waited in front of the elevator.I was still silent, unable to cry anymore...
Mr. Toni came after me.."non.this is the key to his car..."
"Thank you, sir, please get my things ready by the door..
tomorrow or I'll take it.."
"where are you going?"
"calm sir.just walk - walk.calm my mind..."
the elevator opened, and I went inside, "I live first sir..Bye.." the elevator shut down...
*******
I sat down and started this car. I sat still for a moment.my mind drifted back to the scene at that time.
"Stupid me!!!!!"
I drove my car backwards and then I drove out of this parking area.
I walked without direction.I turned on the streets of North Jakarta.Music on the radio accompanied me spinning without direction..
nike Ardila song - The Star of life
With me this morning....
I stopped for a while, and then I realized...
"Candra couldn't have released me this easily.Surely she put a tracker in this car.."
I went back to the fast lane, turn U turn. as soon as possible re-enter the Candra Apartment. I parked the car back in its original place..
I went out and walked out of the parking lot...
I'm looking for the White sedan, Cristin's car is gone...
I walked out of the park area and over the bridge I walked around me...
walking on without knowing the direction.hot and dust pollution accompanied me. then I took the busway...let me be a little relieved by this morning's drama...
I stopped at the Busway harmony stop.Down then I walked out, stopped and fell silent on the bridge, watching the merchants peddling his lap...
let the wind hit my body and head.see the vehicle back and forth below...
"Neng.will you drink neng? aqua aqua neng..."
"engga sir.makasih.."
I walked back to the Busway, riding into the bus, which took me to Matraman and to the ground....
I got off the bus, continued on foot.....
I walked, continuing without direction.until I arrived at the cafe Anomali...
I'm going in to open the door...
"Ruby.." I said hello to the lady in Navy colored box tunic. she was talking to some of her staff.
the woman turned to look at me...."Elsaa....my favorite editor...here come in..." Ruby hugged me and asked me to sit next to the corner near the park..
"i'm afraid you married Els?
Dapet owner Hotel are you? how and how did you meet" Ruby gave me a hot chocolate and a piece of Tiramizu tart.
"yes.the news is very fast yes.but everything is not as beautiful as the story of Ruby...."
"Elsa.you owe me a lot of stories.." Ruby patted my hand and I just smiled..
"Elsa.I live yes.I want to train a new child.barista just graduated.."
"okay Ruby.I'm here first.."
I sat there, waiting for the time, where I was going after this..
I dreamt of everything that had happened to me..
---------
candra looked at the tablet to ascertain where Elsa went. It was seen Elsa's car went around the streets of the capital..
but later just stay in the parking lot.. "I'm guessing you can't go far..."
Candra was sure Elsa couldn't leave him..
----
"hey!! the little boy daydreams..." Richie's....
Richie why can it appear in front of me...
"why do you always show up when I'm alone..?"
Richie sat in front of me carrying his capucinnya. "gw sitting there eh see someone I know. yaudah I moved.kanya universe betroth us to always meet by accident..."
",..."
"kok yourself.where is Candra..?"
"...." I lowered my head..
"me...
I found them sleeping together.On the night of our bride, I was too tired and fell asleep.. Candra's going to the store to pick up Cristin..
I went home to ...... (i told you everything from the beginning)"
Richie went silent to finish his coffee. "lo...Elsa...kamu.kamu continue you live where? moreover, Candra has already kicked you out..."
"you told me you had an apartment, right? can I rent? I will pay rent to you every month as well as his maintenance to the management manager.I do not want to go back to Candra's place..."
Richie shut up then took his phone, "Hallo....Mila, you to the anomaly deh, bring the unit 8 no 10 yes..iya ntar lo ngerti..iya again in merselin..ok..." Richie finished his call, he looked at Elsa, the poor woman.His face looked tired and his eyes were blank.
"are you sure Els, you're out of Candra's place?" Richie still can't believe it..
I turned to Richie "I'm 100% sure%"
but my head began to feel very dizzy.Kram my stomach came again.This time it felt like a double attack.I tried to cover from Richie.
not long after Mila came. approached us, and said hello.."Elsa..lo was so beautiful yesterday.welcome yeah.." mila grabbed me from behind.
"..." I shut up and pondered..
"Elsa wants to rent unit 8. he was kicked out of Candra, and abis ngeliat Candra same Cristin bobo together.semalem on the night of their bride."
"ah!!! crazy that guy can I slam ya.." Mila growled and gritted her teeth.
"already mila..already.." I stood holding Mila. but my stomach hurt more and more.Kram my stomach came again more and more became - so it feels.....
it hurts so much, my head hurts..I........
Elsa falls on the floor, Richie hugs her and takes her away...
Richie takes her to the Arya Hotel, where she rests in one of the empty rooms..
Before long the doctor came and examined Elsa. "so how's Doc?" the doctor placed Elsa's hand over her stomach.
"his pulse is weak.it looks like he's in a lot of pressure and stress.then there's stomach cramps that are his effect..
it seems like fatigue and lack of food and drink..
hence limp..
here I take a vitamin, I can drink it after a meal." the doctor stood up to Richie..
"She's a poor girl.o.m already heard before she got here." The doctor left Elsa's room..
"Thank you, Om..."
"same - same dear nephew."
the doctor went by..Richie went back into the room...
"Elsa... If we meet first, maybe I will be with you.I will never make you sick."
******
"this girl didn't go up..Was she laper? it's 8 o'clock.." Candra's getting restless.
"Hp is also not active anyway..." Candra started to panic..
Candra immediately ran out downstairs.following Elsa, according to Candra she must have fainted below.
Up below, the car is empty.parked safe.."where else hea!!!! What a hard thing to do with me!"
cring.kring....
"Call..."
"Elsa is in Arya, 5th floor number 502.."
The phone is then turned off...
"it turns out he's the same as Richie!!!"
Candra immediately walked up to pick up her Suv car keys.
*****
Elsa is still sound asleep. occasionally her body shivering.. calling her papa.. "papa.sickness.papaa..papaa..."
Richie immediately approached me holding Elsa's shoulder. "ssst..it's okay - is there me..calm...."
kringg..kring...kring....tok...tok...toookk.
Richie stood up and opened the door, "Side!!!" Candra pushed Richie.
Candra entered and went straight to where Elsa was lying. she immediately pulled the blanket that warmed Elsa's body..
"Don't neglect that.. Elsa needs a lot of rest, all day she doesn't eat anything..." Richie prevents Candra from doing anything crazy again.
"she's my wife.I deserve her!!" candra's eyes reddened.mystery full of anger implied on her face.
"if you talk about rights and obligations, then you should not treat him as you wish..
treat Elsa more heartily! she's a woman! She's your wife now. "
Candra approached Richie, "it's none of your business, if I find out, at any point you touch her! you'll be done."
Candra turns to Elsa.."you love Elsa?"
"..." - ".Candra was silent
"if you throw it away, I will gladly accept it."
Candra remained unmoved, sitting quietly beside Elsa and stroking her face..
Elsa began to realize that she had opened her eyes...."Richie...sick....my head..."
"Elsa. It's me, let's go home..." Candra got me up, then sat on the bed.
"i'm where..." Elsa is still half conscious..
"you're safe here Elsa. I brought you here..." Richie answered and approached
Elsa..
I started to get sober and I could think a little....
"let's go home, Jo.." Candra pulled me up, forced me to stand up and walk out..
I immediately let go of Candra's hand. "Take me off!!" Candra jerked in shock ...
"Thank you Richie....
(then Elsa looked at Candra) At least you can thank her for helping me.."
Richie came up to me and gave me a plastic Medicine Clip.. "Elsa. This vitamin from the doctor.he said you lack water, nutrition and vitamins.."
"alright..thank you.." I received the medicine...
I walked straight out of the room. My eyes were still heavy, my legs were still shaking..
Candra immediately called me, "Elsa. let's go home.." I just shut my eyes..
******
that night Elsa slept in Candra's room on the same bed as Cristin last night.
all night back and forth Elsa was awake. Her body shook and her sleep was not calm.... Candra hugs and accompanies Elsa..
"sst...Elsa you're safe.forgive me..I'm sorry.." all night Candra kept saying that..
Candra hugged me all night..
then as the morning began to approach...
I feel better, my body is healthier.I want to wash my face...
I walked downstairs, I went in the bathroom and washed my face..
I see glass, my face looks pale..
"i'm supposed to go....."
I took the lipstick from inside my bag. I wrote on the glass a message to Candra.
then I dressed well...
I brought my whole suitcase, then I went down to the Lobby...
'may you be happy...'
******
"Please Ticket to semarang which is now.ini Ktp me." I give my Ktp to the station attendant..
"well ma'am.this is 500,000.."
I paid for the ticket and waited on the train platform.I looked at the traffic of KRL. frenzied passengers.
Semarang... city My destination.every corner incised a story about papa, at this time I want to hug papa.even though it was through prayer.
I want to calm my mind, calm and alone..
finally my train came, I lined up neatly into the carriage..
*****
Candra awakens feeling something is missing..
Elsa!!
'where is..'
Candra searched every corner of her apartment.to the parking lot below...
Candra gives up and returns to her apartment. Candra throws her body on the bed...
"Elsa.Where else are you!!! forgive me. I was wrong to you.sorry.."
Candra stood in the bathroom. Candra just realized there's writing on the bathroom mirror..
'I went where I should have been.
let you be happy with him.
our status is safe as husband and wife.
I'm happy if you want to stay with him...
i'm PAMPH.......'
"LITTLEOO!!!!!"
PYAARRRR... mirror glass splattered on the floor..
*****
I walked to the cemetery area. carrying a bouquet of white roses. I stopped in front of one of the headstones...
" Paul Wimala"
Elsa sat down, praying for her father. put a white rose. "pa...papa how are you? Elsa.sad pa.everything happens..
Elsa failed to take care of mom..Elsa fails to have the Ideal Household like everyone else..
But Elsa promised..Elsa will succeed.. Elsa will make up for all Elsa's mistakes..."
