BETWEEN YOU HE AND ME

the taste left behind

"where are you going?" rini asked me when I opened my door.

"what's wrong?" answer me as if there were no problem

"i'm the phone from yesterday so arrogant don't pick up?"

"that's it, from yesterday I didn't bring a ribet hp"

"don't say anything, don't also play hide anything from me. I already know all, why don't you tell me no story" her question many times I can't answer her. "how many days have you not taken a shower? So dirty, the shower keeps coming out"

"where?" ask me

"hayu come later also know" I could not refuse his invitation. After I finished I turned to her workplace a food stall but at the karaoke facilitation. The place is cool cool the tree about her behind the stall stretches of rice fields and her rice has begun to turn yellow. Feels comfortable. I sat in the corner of the stall closer to the rice field area away from the visitors who arrived.

"doesn't it feel like the mood?" ask him to me. I just smiled nodding and looking at the beautiful natural scenery, from a distance I saw people who were training flying pigeons feeling crowded but calming down a little free entertainment.

"what do you want to eat?"

"ga ah later aja pesennya, do not want it too" I was too cool to see the soothing scenery

"happiness doesn't have to be expensive, does it?" rini's words to me

"does she mean?" my word

"yes, it's really that it doesn't have to be expensive, the proof is we're here no money, but it can make you laugh. The sign is you're happy, right?" I didn't respond to his talk.

These few days I have locked myself in a childless home without a husband, ever since that divorce I felt useless I felt broken.

"mom,," my eldest son knocked on the door of the house "mother's at home?" ask him to me. I opened the door for her to look as though my eyes were crying a lot. "mother doesn't work?" ask her back

"ga tea,, mom, tuesday's holiday" my son knows that my activities I only work at uncertain times how my boss calls me, but it's mandatory Saturday sunday. "why are you here by yourself? What are you doing?" ask my eldest daughter.

"there's more on playing with his friends" replied my son "I'm here to ask for money for tomorrow's activities at school all for cash as well"

"this,," I gave two hundred bills, "this is love to my mother when she loves me again" I said to my daughter.

"mom's money doing a lot of work?" asked my son "sunday yesterday I saw my mother at the food stall but did not eat." I smiled "it's okay, you're embarrassed if you work at the restaurant?"

"yes lengga bu, why shame after ko halal working mother"

I'm proud of my son thank God I'm afraid he's insecure if he knows his mother works as a waitress for a food stall. She began to grow up as a teenager already sitting in the 2nd grade of Junior High grateful she entered her favorite school of her dreams I always pray that what became my children's dreams can be realized aminn.

"mom, I'm home, I'm afraid of coming" I just smiled and said

"just in case ade-ade yes, can play but not for long mending be a home child rather than playing hanging out is clear" I always advise because I'm afraid he's carried away by the flow of his peers. I also forbid being close to the opposite sex because I don't want things that I don't want anymore and then she wants to stay in the dorm so it's not so difficult to direct her wishes. Only sometimes I also feel sorry at his age now even busy helping me take care of his sister, I'm not too restrictive but my son does not like to hang out outside the house.

"hey..." Rini startled me at once my daydream was crap "don't daydream aja sok eat mumpung still hot." she thrust a plate of mendoan java and peel leaves "lunch breakfast first. Here until I get home from work" Rini smiled at me

"haduuhh don't want, long time I'm here alone?" I said to her

"keep going to Rian's town? Let me call you"

"no" I said, "don't macem"

"he's nanyain mulu tau"

"it's up, males," Rini left me alone. The comfortable atmosphere did not feel adzan dhuhur also reverberated me walking towards the mosque in the restaurant. When praying I only ask to strengthen me God and do not let me be weak as my children. I did not feel my tears dripping on the face I was wearing, I went out on my seat Rini was waiting for me to finish praying.

"is it easy now?" ask her as if she knows what is going on with me. I just smile "ko ga at the meal? I know it by noon" he said to me

"again, eum" I answered briefly

"because you can't share, try to share a bit of your sadness with me" Rini looked at me closely "the horror, yan,, I'm not your friend but I'm your sister. The name of his brother in the moment that one is sick then that one will also feel his. He left me I cried staring at his beautiful expanse of vast rice fields. I was confused as to how I felt there was nothing I could tell anyone else, let alone others just friends even my own siblings and parents do not know what really happened. Especially now that my relationship with my parents is not healthy because of the debt problems that affect me.

When it went late in the afternoon, it did not feel like I was accompanying Rini to work before our magrib came home after we paid a farewell to the one with the stall. Up in front of my alley, but he didn't stop to drive me.

"you don't have to sleep in your own house, I'm afraid you're okay." she told me. This friend of mine is a true sincere friend of mine. He never asked for anything in our friendship. But it's funny to be afraid of me why-why, what do I want? I laughed to myself too.

"engga koh, did you say not alone at home afraid why-why? Why do you think I'm crazy?" I'll pass it to Rini

"yes not afraid of her drinking portas, or do not hang yourself so on the chili tree" selorohnya we also laugh together all the way to his house.

"Rian nyariin you said you on the phone did not pick up in send a message reply." I'm just silent males terribly dreadnya "he told me when he met you in the office of KUA I just did not believe but after I did not pick up the phone q know the answer. I don't have to think anymore don't need to brake again in the world's house won't doomsday because you divorce, let's go kasian children don't get rich gini" said Rini nasehati. I was crying a crumple feeling in his chest was very painful.

"fell in shock how I don't know anything, go home early in the morning and even jump to KUA divorce signature, rasain how does it feel me?"

"yes now just accept the fate of course hopefully the future is even better" he said encouraging me. "now just think of the children how to stay happy even though there is no father."

I could only cry not speaking a single word, confused as to how, I thought he was steadfastly accompanying me but it turned out that he was not as strong as I thought. When I was facing a problem that I hoped I could lean on, he left in a very painful way.

"Some of the kids know it yet" Rini asked me

"i can't tell you, I'm not strong, pity them. They are small. I haven't seen them yet, just a big kid coming home asking for money for his school."

"at ga's love?"

"heeh, when he came home under the tv locker he left money, make me stock, he said, every month also he still had to give to me and the children" I said fortunately before marriage I made a pre-marital agreement and now he still has an obligation to me as well as his son, earlier I thought it was not important that we love each other and need each other but now it's hard. My boss used to say that before marriage made pre-marital understanding I used to work in the office of a lawyer who is popular now.

"is that a child?"

"that's it, but I said you had a job so you couldn't go home. I don't want my children to think about their parents' problems, I don't want to focus on learning to decline while the beginning of his career at the beginning of this semester mba."

"where's the big plan going?"

"later if already High School want him to stay in the dormitory just say so that the focus of the school does not think anywhere. Let it be according to his wishes I can not deny pity, but, already in living his father's ideals to inhibit pity yes as much as I could yet his father is still responsible until he grows up already there is this agreement, already there is this agreement, as if he missed it can appeal me." I said explained to my friend.

"is that ready?" ask Rini smile

"ready not ready to be ready can not be able to mba for children. Thanks for always being there for me."

"just relax, because I can't see you're rich when you say eh turns out to be ngunci in the room ga out-out, did he think you were sick? Won't he will no longer care about what you have added a burden for yourself ga kasian to the child?" his words rebuked me a little because a few days ago I was silly even torturing myself, I was confused I was very sick as if my life was a death, I felt, who was not shocked to be invited to KUA even in divorce there was no talk at all from the beginning I was still sane I was grateful to almost end myself at that time but God I still love him because I still breathe to this day.

Now I try to get up from the beginning again for me as well as my children. I have to look happy even though my heart is broken and I also can't complain about anything that happens.

"mama's father knows if you're divorced?"

"don't know anyway there is no importance for them too, I have nothing now yes it's not important. Now I only have children mba who make me strong yes they are so my parents will know later if already when they know. Hopefully my way forward will be more amiinn" I explained to Rini because she knows best what happened to me this much, this much, away from my own parents even though the distance of my contract with my parents' house is only 50 meters but since I had financial problems they stayed away when I just came in question yes shame mending to others than to relatives or parents. Ordinary parents are more aware of children because during the baby's baby until this big also the name of the parent is more sensitive but this is ga, ga, never again do they let them with their world and me with my world, because I am sincere about everything that happens to me now.

"Rian nanyain you keep on knowing?"

"eh in the discussion again, I'm lazy with her, no other thing is it not her?" I said "i don't think of anything now because now it's more important how I can get a job so I can stay alive" concluded me again.

"yee she's singing because she wants to give you a job, she said yesterday she said you're me"

"what work?"

"yes you don't know, I didn't take it because the people just haven't come here anymore, don't know where he is" Rini explained.

"it's good that his wife will also be thought of how again" I said

"his words have not come home since you came home? The time that comes home from KUA means how many days are 3 4 days what?"

"where have these 5 days meant" I said to him

"syeeettt has been meaning yes for almost a week, meaning that you really don't eat for 4 days. Good thing it doesn't hurt if it hurts who takes care of it?" his word to me

"is there an mba? Can it be a treat?" joked me with a smile

"wish I took care of it when I thought there was no work?"

That's when I was with my friend, I was so grateful to have a friend who really cared for me, she said, when I was down he was always there for me when I was there when I was like this he was selfless.

Goodbye mas iman thank you for giving me a wound but I can get through it even though it's hard I can. Our memories of 16 years will be memories for our children as adults and want to meet you when they reach the top of their lives.