BETWEEN YOU HE AND ME

unexpected divorce POV FAITH

"where are you?" I asked my wife Dian, exactly her ex just said the ex feels pain when calling her ex because it has been 16 years passed I always with her, she said, I don't know if my decision was right or wrong but everything happened I can't pull it off anymore. In my heart there is still a lot of affection but I am jealous when he is approached by other men not only that's the thing that makes me very disappointed in him all this time he was never honest to me what's the problem, I'm her husband but I don't appreciate what am I for?

"Tut tut the number you are going to is busy," always the answer from the operator that sounds "let's pick up, where are you?" I was restless when my wife's house wasn't there yet. Yes where maybe first he was on foot but through which way he why when I was looking did not meet. Until the afternoon he has not been up to the house I have followed how many times until the smallest alley I comb to find it but the results are not there? Or maybe she was with that guy? Questions that don't have answers make me emotional. From morning till now how many messages I sent but none of them he bales.

My emotions peaked when my phone and message went unanswered, I went home to my parents' house and I left some money for her supplies. Still imagining how sad she was when I found out that I divorced her without her knowing. Am I cruel? But this heart can't lie that I'm disappointed to be so disappointed in his attitude. I fully understand that my wife is an independent woman who never bothered me but I can't if she's not honest about her current situation. Who am I to use me if I can't appreciate me as the head of the family. Why do I have to know from others that his business is insolvent and leaves a lot of debt everywhere why I should know from others.

"why aren't you being honest if you have a problem?" ask her before I leave.

"i don't want to burden you" she said in tears

"is it because I'm unemployed now?"

"no, that's not because I know you're not well you haven't healed yet" said the very piercing in my heart "I don't want you to have much thought, I love you, I don't want anything, you don't want me, but my son, they still need you, they still need us. Please understand"

"yes but you don't understand my position, how does your brother's response your parents your extended family to me?" ask me so that he realized women can be independent even must be independent but can not be separated from its nature as the ribs are not the backbone, it is still a man who is the backbone of his family." you smeared my face as if there was no price at all"

"sorry I'm mas," she told me "I'm confused I messed up mas, sorry, especially I don't want you to get angry that could ruin our relationship"

I can't accept any reason I don't want my pride trampled on no matter how I'm a priest in a family to be cherished.

"now just find a man who can make you happy, it turns out I am nothing to you" I told my wife

"mas don't get rich gini" she whispered to me "I'm sorry I'm not honest with you for all of it, I don't think I'm alone I think more of you"

Any reason I can't accept I'm tired when I don't have my wife's income even like this I'm very disappointed. I used to work in a factory in the city I came out because of the reduction of employees at that time I was very mentally burdened for me but I admit my wife is very patient serving me she never complained about me not working I look for a job at every opportunity not only through social media, I also ask people.

"don't like this mas I can't get rich gini please" her moans many times but my heart is closed with a very disappointed feeling "I love you we've been walking for 16 years not maybe just up here, right?"

I left her and my children I gave her provisions without saying goodbye I went straight to my parents' house. I tell you all what has become my problem now.

"just divorce your wife's bang" my sister-in-law commented when she heard my story

"you were once only in the benefitsin your wife now it's up to you" my mother commented "from the beginning also I don't like her especially now like this."

"whose name character is already difficult to say" my mother continued her words "I admit your wife is good but good is not enough for the household. So now it's up to you to move on with this or get divorced and start your life"

I consider the words of my mother are true the words of my mother and sister-in-law, her family alone did not consider her because of this incident.

"mba I was like that mas, always want to be real himself so justin aja" said my wife's sister "I salute the same mas ko can for decades if I'm not necessarily, I salute my wife, my mba character is hard"

Everyone's comments became a belief for me to part with my wife, even though I was heavy because not only did I feel that I still loved her but the children also how about them, my son is still a child who needs affection not only my mother too.

"many children are successful victims of divorce" my mother's argument "whose name the child already has a way of life. Now think you're holding on for a child while not necessarily your wife can change" said my mother I don't blame her maybe she's also hurt with my wife's behavior now.

Is this really the way for me to separate? Is this the path I should take? All the questions that don't know the answer. I don't know if my decision was right or wrong

Kriiinngggg heard the sound of my phone ringing when I saw the screen turned out my wife did not want me to pick up her phone. Raaa disappointed that in making me reluctant to connect again with her especially all my family also already know the incident that befell me feel there is no burden for me anymore.

"mas if with this you can be calmer I will not bother you mas" a message from my wife "I'm sincere if this way you want to leave me, I realize I've hurt you so much. Greetings to your family to apologize to them"

I just read her message not wanting me to reply. Sebenee is not just dishonest financial problems that make me go away from her especially because I know in between us there is a problem there are men who try to approach her I do not know who is it that I clearly read the message sent to her. I know my wife doesn't respond but I can get to know the man behind me. When did they get introduced? Doesn't he think I'm the one to him? I hope my wife doesn't respond. Ever since I read the incoming message on his phone my heart became anxious there was a jealous rass that touched the heart and what if it happened? The day turns unsettled, I feel like I'm here every day, my mother always talks about my problems with my wife, which makes my head hurt. Is it true that I should be separated?

"surely he will bring the child as an excuse for you not to leave him" my mother confirmed her sentence to me. Do I have to listen to my mother and her family for me to divorce my wife.

"when are you going to?" ask my mother really I don't want to be a burden on my parents' minds but how else should I go if not to the parents. "already there go let me spout the business of continuing to enter the work." My mother also who is looking for me a job so that I am not always moody at home. Since then I have always daydreamed about how the next work is no money mediocre I was very confused.

"if it's done well, work will also not be disrupted anymore so you are more focused on your future" said my mother "part of your children there right? If you work you can send every month for the needs of the child, no matter how you father, the responsibilities of the father will not be completed until when"

I went to KUA's office to take care of our divorce I didn't tell all her family let it be a temporary secret for now because I was still wondering if I should divorce her? It felt heavy to step into the KUA office

"there's something we can help sir" asked someone, startling my daydream. It turns out that this employee from the KUA office.

"e Anu" I answered her nervously confused because honestly I'm not ready either but if you don't be my mother my extended family what should I tell them, there's gonna be a tirade that makes me cramped.

"please sit down first, if you are calm you can tell me the same I what is the purpose of the father here? Said the father of this KUA officer.

"would you marry?" ask her again

"no sir" I argued quickly "mm no sir" I was still nervous so confused his "anu sir, I want to file a divorce" I said when they haven't asked I've prepared the answer.

"divorce?" ask the officer, "why divorce sir, why is divorce sir is there no other way?"

"there are internal things that I cannot tell you sir" I said so as not to affect my intention to separate

"i'll prepare the file for a while, where's my father?"

"don't go with pa" said my "the point he knows is sorted pa, which is important without any mediation"

"this is pa signature and immediately take care of his administration to the cashier section behind yes sir" I immediately rushed to complete the administration and all the divorce documents as well as the completion of the pre-marital agreement that was made 16 years ago before we got married, now I fulfill the obligations that are in the contents of our agreement letter, including the right of monthly child expenses that I have to bear, as well as my wife's expenses for 3 months before she gets a job, to support himself.

"his rules sir and wife pa about his there is a signature that must be approved by the wife" said KUA officer

"my wife isn't at home pa, then it's me alone" I replied

"don't pa, the wife of the father does not know that in divorce" he chanted

"now good father take care of and I will come according to the schedule listed on my divorce deed." answer I sniffed

I also left the KUA office not calm his sense of heart somehow my wife later when she found out that I had divorced her unilaterally. But I can't drop my lawsuit because I want to be valued as a man.

"all done?" my mom asked when I was coming home. I didn't answer his question.

"i cape want to rest first" I told my mom

"eat first mam, you have not had breakfast before leaving now already want to eat first gih" I did not reply to my mother's invitation to not taste me to do any activities especially to eat with a heart that is not because it has made me full. Because until now I still think about my wife, how about my children how I will explain to them later when they have grown up. God is this the right decision if it's true why my heart still doubts why there are regrets that come to my heart after I signed the divorce papers. God wants this to be a mistake, show me the way to come back.

"returned? Can I come back after I hurt her?" my whisper in my heart will change the nature of my wife who can not appreciate men, if I return?

the question for which there is no clear answer now we are not husband and wife anymore I wish she could live her life even though we are not together anymore. I pray that he will live it because I feel hard to live without him. I hope there is a better way for us in the future.