BETWEEN YOU HE AND ME

introductions

that night when the weather was a little drizzle, I just returned from my brother's house in the next village. I went down the small alleys so as not to meet people who recognized me, because I was ashamed to meet them when I was like this, I don't want them to know if my current situation is different from yesterday, now I'm like a kingpin who walks aimlessly down a narrow, dark alley just to be unnoticed by those around me. I blame myself why I got this way, why I always act so selfish as if I could be alone without anyone's help, I don't hear the advice of those around me, especially my husband, though he always reminded of things that could ruin our future plans but I never considered him I was indifferent with his words, I instead often blamed him. Forgive me Lord I feel so guilty what is this karma that I reap from what I have sown? I just consider this a test of my life so that I can be more mature and wise in dealing with the flow of life.

God, I'm sorry for all the arrogance and arrogance that caused all the mess, now I don't know what else to do, I'm almost frustrated with what happened I'm sorry God I don't want to be like this anymore. The drizzle of falling on my body no longer felt the cold that pierced my bones because of the chaos of my mind to unstoppable again in my brain, until when am I like this, when will all this end? I don't know a question that never answers because I don't know my life tomorrow when the sun comes up.

"yan.hey yan.." Someone's voice called out to me but I didn't see anyone just sounding. I sped up my way because I suddenly had goosebumps.

"hey..in the call-to-call is also not okay why the hell?" ask my friend Rini. "from earlier I called her girajut why? Do you rain and use umbrellas again when the road alone runs out from where?"

"oh out of the house brother" answered me "sorry I don't know if you called it about her there was a sound but there was no one"

"do you think I'm a ghost? So the road is very sparse" he explained "yok to the house first anyways drizzle it began big, you are wet ntar sick again" I stopped by Rini's house because I had no reason to refuse her. I chose a rather quiet road until I accidentally passed by Rini's house.

"falm-chick walks alone where the dark pepper is again, ain't scared?" ask him to me. I don't know if I thought about my own safety. I don't care who I am or who I'm not, I'm the same for them, what does it matter?

"lagional to the house of the brothers malem-malem gini mang his no day that day?"

"time to go there last afternoon but it just so happens that there are guests far away so wait for guests to go first" explained I to Rini "while playing long ago also ga there. Lagian do not want to disturb also their event" when we until there is a man who was sitting on the porch of Rini's house was snacking on his cellphone. When we arrived she smiled, and I returned her smile.

"who" I asked

"oh, there's no new neighbors here. Distant people" explained Rini I also sat on the terrace while Rini went into her house shortly afterwards she returned with a glass of warm tea for me.

"ngerepotin" said me "when I make my own anyway not a guest ko"

"there's nothing cold for you" she replied "fear of the wind going in hehehe."

"co only makes one, so where do you want him to do it for me?" ask the man.

"oh wanna? Why didn't you talk about it?" ask Rini.

"shy are the guests asking for coffee?" his word "there is also an understanding host. The time I come first ko he who get rations first anyway."

"hehehe,, sorry. Yeah, wait for me to make tea what coffee?"

"just coffee" did not interval how long Rini brought a glass of coffee for the man

"yan..have you eaten?" ask Rini. I was confused to answer his question his problem I did not get a single grain of rice today. I nodded in embarrassment that there was a stranger in front of me if I answered honestly. Lagian boro-boro thinking of eating that there is a brain rich in tangled threads think all of it, fortunately my brain is still strong ga ngebleng that makes tissue slow. My brain is always hot because the mood is not clear bures do not know what to think about how I live tomorrow. How can I eat when my husband goes to leave the red money sheet 2 sheets already I love to the debt collector ya bablas where can eat, please, at home there is rice only rice doang sometimes I eat only salt or ga use ketchup which is important to be full.

"has any news?" I shook my head "yes already sabarin first tell ngadem first there, later also call if you need mah. Or call first"

"just one day" I replied "tengsin times"

"yes, it was sabarin just this day, right?" his words to me "let's give it time for yourself let's both at ease ga mulu emotion later if fitting home or phone so nice do not use angry" I don't answer Rini Males' argument anyway I'm still sick. I thought he could be consistent with his talk the other day but I was wrong, his talk was just nonsense that his word would keep me for as long as it takes, it will be on my side under any circumstances. But the reality of what he's talking about with reality is far different, when I need his support he even went to his parents' house without saying goodbye to me just tell the child. I felt really down at that time that made me strong only children see my son trying to rise from hardship but I have to be able to for the sake of my son. I consider all this a test because I don't want to think too much because it will damage myself.

"where are the kids now?" ask Rini to me

"yes to her grandmother, where else," I replied "I don't dare to take the children while I'm in this state pity them"

"aduuuhh" the man grumbled, interrupting my conversation. I'm sorry I said his name because it hasn't been met yet." it feels rich as a mosquito repellent huuffttt laaahhh" he said. Men blur chatty really feelings from tadI about his complen mulu males his taste dengerin. "sook talk alone is just a newin so mosquito repellent ge ga nothing" well this one person makes a real annoyance anyway "sook just relax ajas aja I'm not there, besides I don't know what topic you guys are talking about."

"very brusik from earlier" hardik Rini "diem aja napa nyung bae."

"yes I'm sorry, but I'm not good when I'm in cuekin" chirped his "kalo ga saturated at home I'm also males so mosquito repellent here. Yes uDah sok aja oruh if mo vent mah barin aja I just assume I have nothing ko"

"don't go home just wait for the drizzle to subside later" I argue

"wrong the hell come home already here just let there be my friend." invite her repeatedly "lagain I have no friends too. No longer good girl malem-malem own way danger tau. You're home alone, aren't you?"

"what's it, enjoy at home there is a TV also turn on be nyampe morning will so there is a cement." I refute about her I sleep in her house a lot of mosquitoes where can sleep if new brushes body already gatel-gatel because of mosquitoes.

"iya mba here aja don't go home" he participated in our talk, I cueki aja males his sense of answer his talk. "there will be my friend here so it's more familiar also us" the joke is "but if you want to go home let me just say nothing."

"very males." I argue "come home alone can ko say what should be in anterin."

"he said he was alone, was I going, where did his husband go?"

"that's the question" said Rini opened my problem so I glared at him but as if just calmly he told my problem to a person who is not known. "go away instead go home to his parents."

"can I?" murmured "for what?"

"yes that's what makes it surprising, the rules if there is a problem don't leave so just have to find a solution together gini each rich gini" Rini explained my problem to her. "where's the saying again"

"pamit ko" I argue

"pamit just told the kids not to the old ones, right?" ask Rini

"can I?" tell me that man is "man what is woman? The couple's time there is a problem even go, duh no sense to me mah. The rule is that men should be looking for solutions together."

"alah you so nasehatin people" said Rini "ga realise you are also troubled again also already ah deh ah need to follow."

"i won't leave, I'm just lazy to come home a storm, come home later if it's too late so there's not a lot of questions." he tried to defend himself"

"yes already if you want to go home mah there is already malem" hardik Rini on her but who was expelled did not feel expelled.

"said that I'm going home, the rich part of it is mending back to the old man aja males here, tomorrow mah holiday work used to be rich dizzy." obviously it was with us who were there "but go home first to take the ATM first so that ayem, hopefully already sleeping so that I can find my ATM that he has confiscated."

"when have you been saying why take it again? Don't want to lose the guy" I'm telling him "a big count to be a husband, can't know. Want in wherever the goods that have been given to the wife ko can be taken again. Not ashamed to lick your own spit?" cynical tone out because from the beginning I did not respect.

"it is not a matter of profit what is the loss because it is not buying and selling" he can still defend himself. "the ATM money is not absolutely mine that there is money my late father also there was money from selling cars at that time, yes, I do not want one day the money that is even come to take. After all, every day my wife always I give you a big ration of time is not enough why should I take my ATM?"

"yes maybe because you're the one who made him feel unsettled, whose name is a woman if her heart is not comfortable with the position of her husband, yes there must be an event so that her husband can stay at home." said me. "after all, the card does not have someone else has his own husband so be free aja cooyyy, it's just a problem. If your wife doesn't ask you to mo to the husband of the person asking for her?" I concluded answering his talk

"yes, that's not it, is not every day I give rations 200rb for the kitchen time less anyhow are we not yet there are children of that time less?" her calah. If you think yes 200rb only both have been able to buy anything for the kitchen plus can spend more than a month to buy gold if that is so, I am a five-year-old who schools two ga so big as his kitchen ration but I am grateful for the children never lack. Now I'm like this because it's my fault, I made all of it break my ego that makes my life like shit.

"the part that makes me not like, taking the ATM in my briefcase is not saying anything. That's money for capital if I'm short of paying for goods." he collapsed again "yes if deket can take it far how to try? Shame to pay less money. In part he needs what to try to take-take ATM after daily ration is not less."

"ga believes in you the same time, fearing you're the macem behind him" I replied to his words

"you believe how? I'm not a macem-macem either" he said

" yes you don't know, da usual ih men mah if you feel a lot of money sok forget that at home. Your face doesn't hurt either" we laughed at my argument

"fucking gini-gini I honestly know" he replied. The end of his until the malem we chat on the terrace until the end I slept at Rini's house. Yes a short meeting but it made me to for a moment forget about my problem. Somehow I'm living my life tomorrow I can just give up on it.